1:30am
It’s 1:30am and I’m laying here listening to Harry Styles and watching TikTok.. and I realize that I only ever really loved one boy.. One boy who ruined me and just used me for his pleasure.. I blocked him after being in a toxic „relationship“ with him but sadly cannot cut him out of my life entirely.. I still see him weekly at my choir rehearsals and the biggest struggle is comparing him to every boy I meet.. Most of the times I realize how bad this is for my mental health but occasionally I still feel the need to unblock him and just tell him how I feel knowing he is too insensitive to ever understand my struggle.. because to him I were just somebody helping him with his pleasure and problems while breaking in thousands of little pieces...
