Rated R for Reasons

#my favorite shore leave theory is that the shore leave factories didn't generate anything for spock not only bc he's sufficiently repressed#but because torn shirt kirk is. right next to him already. honestly shirtless kirk beating up his own old bully while spock watches#is. i think this is spock's kink actually. up there with the 'yes...yes...good...good' voyeuristic reaction to kirk inventing a bazooka#spock watching kirk be righteous and brilliant with as little clothes as possible and spock himself getting to be Correct about everything#is a GREAT day for spock already. who needs wish fulfillment#kirk isn't even interested in the chorus girl sexbots only the simulacrum of his steady gf. & real ruth is out of the picture and no threat#also they got to grab each other multiple times it was basically obscene. AND all this started when kirk only wanted a massage from him.#so 'shore leave' in its entirety is pretty much 10/10 no notes ideal day as far as spock's psyche is concerned w/ no need for extra steps @anghraine tags

nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”

#grace figures out Disappointed Teacher tone indicators in less than twenty four hours#the first time he uses it rocky is suddenly shaking with flashbacks to being a 30yo eridian in school#pov you are stuck in deep space and your middle school teacher alien roommate has just figured out how to scold you in your native language#rocky is a mechanic. they are immune to being cussed out but the Teacher Voice works on them solidly seven times out of ten#when the beatles get back to earth stratt watches the hail mary footage and every time rocky cringes as grace harmonicas at him#she's like 'ahhhhhh the teacher voice <3 I do miss that'#because when he was still on earth stratt would sometimes sicc grace on members of the phm team#because sometimes the Disappointed Teacher Voice was more effective than the Angry Boss Voice

#the increasing militarization of the moon kingdom has interplanetary relations experts ‘deeply concerned’

hey man i see the projector in your mind's eye casting the image of a beautiful self indulgent fantasy over my silhouette so i just wanted to remind you before you try any funny business that when its battery dies it's just going to be me here

sometimes i have strong opinions but they're also so inane that halfway through writing a post i'll be like "yeah, this is Absolutely not worth the energy it's taking" and delete everything. but then the opinion is still in my head. and i still want to share it. so within five minutes i go "you know, i bet i can phrase it more succinctly this time" and anyway. you all see where this is going. sometimes i do this four times in a row before i give up on the specific inane opinion and instead write a vague post about the concept of opinions as if that'll satisfy the urge to post the entirety of my inner monologue online. may or may not be relevant to what you're reading right now. and now all our lives have been enriched. you're welcome