This Is Why You're Mean

(passing by each other in the kitchen)

Her: Beep beep.

Me: Toot toot.

Her: I said beep beep because you have beeples (beetles) all over your face.

Me: I said toot toot because you have a farty face.

Char: Ugh, I'm stuffed. I can't eat another bite.

*Eats another bite*

Aaron: ...she said as she eats another bite...

Char: I meant AFTER this bite.

Aaron: ...she said as she thinks about taking another bite...

Char: THAT'S MEAN.

(1 minute later)

*Eats another bite*

Char: No soup for you!

Me: What?

Char: I just took the Seinfeld "Which Character Are You" quiz thing going around Facebook and it told me I was the Soup Nazi.

Me: Okay...

Char: Why would it do that?

Me: Probably because you're mean.

Char: I am NOT mean!

Me: Well that quiz seems to think otherwise. It proves that you're mean.

Char: That's mean to say that!

(Five minutes later)

Char: And to top it all off, it gave me Jaime Lannister on the Game of Thrones one!

Me: BECAUSE YOU'RE MEAN!

Me: Have you seen the Disney Robin Hood movie?

Char: Maybe...  is that the one with Tinker Bell?

Me: No.  That's Peter Pan.  Tinker Bell is NOT in Robin Hood.

(twenty minutes later)

Char: Wait, is Robin Hood the one with Captain Hook in it?

Me: No!  That's ALSO Peter Pan!  Why are you getting these so mixed up?

(ten minutes later)

Me: You KNOW I'm going to have to Tumbl your mistakes about Robin Hood and Peter Pan, right?

Me: So when is this Wingfest event?

Char: Um... Sunday February 23rd.

Me: Okay, so I'll just have to make sure not to do my volunteer session that Sunday. Wait... It's the 4th Sunday of the month, so I won't have to remember because I always volunteer the first 3 Sundays of the month.

Char: But isn't there only 3 Sundays in February this year?

Me: No, The 23rd, the 16th, the 9th and the 2nd are Sundays. 28 days means four weeks.

Char: Oh, but aren't there some Februaries that only have 3 Sundays?

Me: No. Because it's 28 days. That's four full weeks so always four Sundays.

Char: Hey! Don't be mean to me!

This Is Why You're Mean turned 1 today!

Me: You know what would go good with these Maxwell Street burgers? Some sushi from Chinese Kitchen!

Char: Ewww, no! Their sushi is gross!

Me: No! Their Mississippi Roll is pretty awesome! Because it's fried!

Char: No, I tried it that one time and I did NOT like it.

Me: ...

Char: ...or maybe I did. I don't remember...

Me: maybe get an extra porchplop and we can try the GATEWAY TO THE NORTH on it

Her: why you call it porchplop

Me: Why you call it a portflop?

Her: I didn't

Her: I said porkchop

Her: lol

Me: Why you call it a plorpslop?

Her: wha?

Her: you called it that

Me: I don't think so

Me: That doesn't sound like something I would do/say.

Her: it is something you would say

Me: NOT AT ALL

Her: ALL THE TIMES

Me: I don't say nothing wrong never none of the times!

Her: you say everything weird all the time forever