I'm a total trash mammal!

I wish the world was as comfortable and safe as animal crossing 

(therapist voice) and why are you butthurt about that

tattletales are lawful evil

Yes, Kevin, I brought my Game Boy to school. Did it bring you joy when you told the teacher? Did it satisfy your bloodlust when she confiscated it from me? You are no paragon of virtue. You are a beast. A vile monstrosity who feeds on suffering. The laws of man may celebrate your deeds, but higher powers may say otherwise.

This somehow gets even funnier when you remember that Pit can’t fucking read

hey mom my friends are here, ill be back later

*blows a kiss under the stage* for the pit orchestra

*blows a kiss behind the stage* for the run crew

*blows a kiss to the rafters* for the phantom