When life gives you crawlspaces...

ok but ignoring the fact they just forgot to cover hudsons lil gun hip tattoo let’s actually say shane has that tattoo. he got it when he scored his first hat trick and got so fucking wasted with the team for the first time ever that they convinced him to let one of their girlfriends give him a tattoo to celebrate and he’s like okey in his lil drunk haze of being around so many people but so happy and full of adrenaline and when this girl asks what he wants he goes “a gun” and someone calls out “why!” and he smiles coly and is like “because I’m a good shot” and everyone’s hootin and hollerin and someone grabs his shoulders and is shaking him and messing up his hair and he’s laughing along and then after a minute the girl comes with a little sketch of a gun and goes “where do you want it?” and he starts to freak a bit because oh is he really going to do this and then the girl is like “what about on your hipbone? that’s hot” and she obviously flirting even shane realises that but then an old timer on the team (bros like 29) that shane secretly has a crush on is like “hell yeah rookie, girl is right that’s hot as fuck” and shane just nods in agreement and then he’s being positioned by the girl and suddenly his sweats are pulled down below his hipbone and a stencil of the gun is pressed to his hip and he doesn’t really remember much after that but he does remember waking up with it and thinking i wonder what Rozanov will say and then pinching himself at that thought.

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies

One time when my dad was in the hospital they were testing his orientation to time and place and said "Okay and what year is it?" and he said "1995" (he had dementia). And the doctor and I unconsciously exchanged a Look because it was in fact uhhh 2024 😐 and dad saw that and so when the next doctor did the test a few hours later he said "uhhhh...nineteen...nintetyyyy.......seven...???" and I was like okay, well, that IS closer, you do have to give him that

#he still knew immediately who I was which was deeply funny to me bc I was 7-8 years old in 1997 #"yes that is my daughter who was apparently born in her 20s"

we're moving to an internet where children would be banned from reaching out for help and friendship online but abusive parents can post their children's every second online to humiliate and expose them for money with no pushback