the fact that minoxidil comes in foam form is hilarious to me. it's like shaving cream's wario

actually i've changed my mind the internet slang that pisses me off the most is any ussy-fication of a word that leaves it with more than two syllables. the entire point of the ussy joke was that it scanned the same as "pussy" or "bussy" and an added layer was that it sometimes took a second to register in your brain what the word was referring to which made it funny when it finally hit. "my throatussy????" "let me see that krabsussy" see that shit isn't funny. they fucking ruined it

my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military

Hey, does anybody know who Jamiroquai is?

Yeah dude. Girls are number one.

my number one woman behavior is saying i’m fine with any pronouns and silently ranking people in my regard based on what they do with that information

This is George Costanza behavior

You go to report your car stolen in the town of Twin Peaks and you witness the sheriff exit out of an AM I GAY? quiz on his computer before taking your report.

yeah man its dostoyevskian. because there was a weird guy