Car Trunk vs Car Boot: A clear win for US English, trunk was already a thing in which you stored items, frequently for transport.
Crisps vs Chips: I gotta admit, the Brits have this one. They're thin slices of potato that have been made crispy. No chipping of any materials involved.
Car Park vs Parking Lot: Equally matched. What's a car park? A place to park cars. What's a parking lot? An otherwise empty lot where you can park.
Elevator vs Lift: Both equally fail to address that the damn thing also goes down.
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saw someone say grace had dogs on his cardigan bc of laika the space dog, patron saint of one way trips, because he was never supposed to make it back to earth, oh I'm sick
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Description: You read in a magazine the trend of asking your boyfriend âAm I allowed to get fries?â in front of the waitress to see his reaction, and you decide to put your very devoted, very dramatic boyfriendâwho literally gives you anything you wantâto the test.
Warnings/tags: humor, fluff (?), being his diabolical gf, johnny needs compensation for the severe emotional distress you caused, allusions to smut.
Note: Inspired on the tiktok trend, but make it 60âs! I just had to put johnny in this scenario lmao. Enjoy đ«¶đŒ
masterlist | archive
Lunch dates with you were Johnnyâs absolute favorite. No matter what kind of restaurant you chose, he always insisted on sitting on the same side of the booth as you. Because why on earth would he sit across from his girl when he can sit next to her?Â
So thatâs where you found yourselves that sunny Sunday afternoon. Squeezed into red cushioned seats at a new diner Johnnyâs been meaning to bring you. He orders first, as usual, making sure to give you as much time as he can for you to decide what you want. You pretend to go over the menu options as he talks to the sweet waitress, a woman in her late forties with big blonde hair and lipstick that matches the seatâs leather.Â
âIâll have a double cheeseburger, with fries on the side and a coke, please,â he says, tapping his fingers absentmindedly on the table.Â
âSure thing, hun. Want cheese on those fries? Chili?âÂ
âSurprise me,â he replies with a wink, making the lady chuckle as she scribbles down her notepad.Â
âAlright, torch. And for your girl?â
He turns his whole body to you, setting his elbow on the table. âWhat do you want, princess?â The question is followed by a soft smile that almost makes you backtrack from your devious plan. Focus.Â
âMmm, not sure,â you frown, doing your best to sound innocent as you set down the menu. âAm I allowed to get my own fries?â Your voice comes out soft, borderline hesitant.Â
Johnnyâs face goes through the five stages of grief in a matter of seconds, as he processes the words you just threw at his face. You can see him searching back through the archives of your relationship for the moment when he became a controlling boyfriend and somehow missed it.Â
A strangled âWhat?â Is all that comes out his mouth. He doesnât even turn to the waitress, whose eyebrow has almost reached the roof, keeping his eyes on you.Â
âI meanâŠif thatâs okay,â you add, and Johnny feels like heâs having a stroke.Â
âOh, so thatâs how it is,â the waitress hisses, nothing like the sweet voice sheâd used on him minutes prior, placing a hand on her hip as she keeps glaring at Johnny for answers. âWell?âÂ
Johnny panics even more, his eyes darting nervously from you to the waitress as he tries to remember what language he speaks.Â
âNo! No, no, no. That is not how it is,â he stammers, looking at you with desperate ocean eyes. âAllowed? What do you mean allowed, baby? When have IâIâve neverââÂ
You only give him a tiny shrug. For a moment he thinks itâd be better to set the whole restaurant on fire than continue existing in this plane of earth.Â
âOf course you can have your own fries, princess. You can have all the fries, Iâll even give you mine!â He says quickly. âA-and anything else you want.â
The waitress, who doesnât believe a word he says anymore, huffs and turns to you.Â
âYou want your fries, sugar? Iâll get you friesâa mountain of them,â she says sweetly. âDonât you worry, Iâll make them extra special.â
âOhâthank you, youâre too sweet,â you say shyly, smiling softly at her.Â
âMy dear itâs no problem, coming right up!â She chirps, then she turns to Johnny, looking at him up and down with a slight scrunch of her nose. âDonât worry, fruitcake, Iâll get yours as well. Extra extra special too.âÂ
You see him literally sink into his seat before she finally turns around and leaves toward the kitchen, muttering something under her breath. Johnny just stares at you with a look of utmost heartbreak and betrayal.Â
âBaby, why would you phrase it like that? Allowed? Your own?? Since when do you need permission?â He runs a hand through his hair, completely spiraling. âHave I ever, in the history of knowing you, denied you anything? Iâve gotten you every single thing youâve ever wantedâeven the things you havenât even asked for!â
The devil on your shoulder tells you to see how far you can go with your diabolical plan.Â
âAre you sure about that?â You ask, halo of innocence placed perfectly in place.Â
âI HAVE!â he protests, so loud that the waitress glances over from her spot. And if looks could kill, the Fantastic Four would be opening auditions for someone who can set themselves on fire and not die. âBaby, donât do this to meââ
The waitress finally returns, and slams down the biggest plate of fries known to mankind on the table. They look golden and crispy, shining in all of their glory. She pushes them toward you, looking at Johnny dead in the eye. Next to it, she places a smaller plate with a few scattered fries you can count with your fingers, and what looks like a teaspoon of chili on top of them, pushing it towards Johnny.
Well, he was surprised after all.
âDonât worry, fire boy. This oneâs on the house,â she say, deceptively sweet.
âWait, no, Iâll pay for themââ
âIâll get your burger,â she says flatly and walks away.Â
âSo what, Iâm chopped liver now?â Johnny exclaims to his miserable âside of friesâ, turning to you exasperatedly. âSweetheart, what have you done? How do I know she didnât spit on mine? She said extra twice!â
You chuckle, but his tragic ocean eyes finally manage to crack your resolve. Ugh. Fine.Â
âRemember the cover you did last month? For that teen magazine?â You start. He nods slowly, remembering the ridiculous charming pose heâd done. âI was reading it the other day, and I saw something about this trend where girls ask their boyfriends if theyâre âallowedâ to order something and it makes them panic.â
You bite back another chuckle, while Johnny just looks flabbergasted, to say the least.Â
âYouâŠyou pranked me with a magazine that has my own face on it??âÂ
You nod proudly, reaching for a fry without a single care in the world. He exhales, rubbing his face like a weight just got lifted off his shoulders.Â
âYouâre so lucky I worship the ground you walk on,â he shakes his head, voice muffled by his hands. âBut youâre evil. My fragile heart canât take this.âÂ
âOh come on, fire boy. Itâs not that bad! I got us free fries,â you sing-song.Â
âThatâs notâsweetheart, you know Iâd buy you the whole restaurant if you want fries,â he says, still distressed, in a way youâre not used to coming from him.Â
âHey,â you soften, reaching for his hand. âI know, Johnny.â
âDo you?â He insists, feeling bad for something he has never even done.Â
âBaby, I know,â you give him a little squeeze, guilt taking over your features. âYouâre literally the least controlling person on the planet. I just wanted to see your reaction.â
He nods, bringing his free hand to clutch the pearls he doesnât have in theatrical devastation. âYou gave me a heart attack there, princess,â he exhales dramatically. âAm I allowed to cry?âÂ
You snort, slapping his arm weakly. âWhen have I ever denied you anything?âÂ
âRight now. Youâve denied me the will to live.â
âOh my god, Johnny!â You laugh louder this time. You finally see the corner of his lips curl at that. âOkay, for the record, Iâm sorry.â
âWeâre talking about severe emotional damage here, sweetheart, and âsorryâ doesnât cut it.â
A yelp escapes your lips when his warm hands close around your waist, hauling you straight into his lap in a matter of seconds. You instinctively grab onto him as the table gets bumped, the glorious mountain of fries loses a few casualties that slide dramatically onto the table.
âJohnny!âÂ
âWhat?â He says innocently, tightening his grip on your waist. âAm I not allowed to hold my girl?â He tilts his head, mirroring your earlier tone perfectly.
âYouâre never letting that go, are you?â You groan, even as you canât fight the smile growing on your face.Â
âNope,â he shakes his head. âI need to process my trauma somehow.âÂ
âUh-huh. Got any better ideas?â You tease, brushing a few strands of blonde hair out of his forehead. He closes his eyes briefly, in his head your soft touch is enough to forgive you for every crime youâve ever committed, but he has to keep it together.Â
You want âcontrollingâ? Oh heâll give you controlling.Â
âI have many ideas, love,â he says smugly, then leans closer to you, warm breath ghosting over your ear. âIf youâre gonna ruin my reputation in public, maybe I get to ruin you in private as compensation.â
Your breath hitches, making him chuckle this time.Â
âAnd for the record? Youâre allowed anything you want,â he whispers, placing a soft kiss on your jaw. âEspecially me.âÂ
Thank you so much for reading đ€ feedback is always appreciated <3 beautiful divider by @uzmacchiato
Taglist: @callmefatherr
I have taglists for my separate fics/series but if you want to be added to the general one just let me know.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Summary: Sam has noticed how much you look at Eric, and encourages you to go for what you want because no one knows how much time there is left.
Note: I hope you enjoy this story about my dear sweet wet boy đ„°
Warnings: movie canon violence
Words: 3.6k
What meds do you need?
With a shaky hand, Sam reaches out and takes her notebook and marker from Eric. She hastily scribbles down a few words, her eyes blinking every few seconds as if sheâs fighting off sleep.
Her thin arm drops off the side of the bench, weakly offering the notebook back to Eric. You watch his doe eyes scan over the words before he tears the paper out of the book.
Eric nods as he folds up the sheet and slips it into his pocket. He gives you a terse smile that you donât have the energy to return. Your eyes follow him as he steps through the rubble and debris towards the front door of the church.Â
The moment heâs out of sight, you push yourself off the dirty floor, grab Samâs Bai, and take a seat next to her head on the bench. The struggle to lift her head is apparent so you quickly slide closer so her head can rest on your lap. She gives you a look of thanks before she sips from the bottle.
Once she finishes, Sam gestures to the notebook on the top of her âI heart NYâ tote. Luckily, you can reach it without jostling her head too much.Â
The marker scratches against the paper as she writes. It takes her a minute longer than it did for her to write out the medication she needs, so youâre curious about what it says as she hands it to you over her head.Â
I see how you keep looking at him. You going to say anything or what?
Heat floods your face, and you swear everyone else in the church is able to read the note over your shoulder. Doing your best to shake it off, you write back a quick message before handing the notebook back to Sam.
Not allowed to speak at all.
She reads what you wrote and drops the notebook onto her chest, letting her eyes roll up so she can give you the most unamused glare youâve ever seen.Â
As if Frodo is also unimpressed with your answer, he crawls out from beneath the bench, stretches his front legs out with his tail in the air, then heads towards the door.Â
Funny. Pretty sure your eyes have left him all of twice since we left the apartment.Â
It had been pure luck seeing Sam and Eric come into the apartment building last night. The distinctly human footsteps walked past the door of your apartment on the fourth floor and your curiosity got the better of you. Youâd been held up in your home since the start of whatever kind of invasion this is and the need to see another live human being was too strong to deny. Though this was just last night it feels like another lifetime ago.
This is possibly the end of the world, and you want me to what? Tell Eric I think heâs cute?
You canât help but see the twisted humor in the fact that you and Sam are sitting in a dilapidated old church, in the middle of what seems to be an alien invasion, and the two of you are writing notes back and forth to one another like high school girls gossiping.Â
Iâm saying to go for what you want. We could be dead in a minute for all we know. Donât waste your time.
Itâs hard to argue that point with someone you know has limited time left. Itâs even harder to argue because you know sheâs right. But even though youâre in survival mode now, youâre still you and donât find things like this easy. Call it insecurity or trauma from high school when the guy you had a massive crush on found out about it and laughed in your face. Things like that donât just go awayâeven in the apocalypse.
Weâre focusing on staying alive right now, Sam.Â
Youâre deflecting.
Itâs just the truth.
Itâs still deflecting.Â
What do you want me to say, huh? Iâm already scared for my life, I donât need heartache on top of everything else right now.
Why do you think it would be heartache?
Because guys like him arenât interested in girls like me.
Guys like him? Girls like you?
Yeah. Handsome, smart, kind. And me, not those things. I donât need to feel like the rejected high school girl again right now.Â
Are you shitting me? This isnât high school. Either tell Eric how you feel or agonize over what could have been.Â
Again, trying to survive right now.
So afterwards. On the boat out of here.
Maybe.
If I had the strength to wring your neck, I would. Cancer has fucked up my life but one thing it did do is show me how useless shame is. Thereâs no time for being embarrassed, itâs just a waste.Â
Why do you care so much?
What? Youâre not getting my loving and nurturing vibe?
Ha. But really.
Youâre both good people who deserve to be happy. If you can find that in each other then I think you should at least try.Â
Fine. On the boat. Iâll say something to him there.
Swear on Frodo.
Thatâs not fair.
Do it.
Fine, I swear on Frodo.
Sam seems content after that and closes her notebook and rests it on her abdomen.Â
It seems somewhat like emotional blackmail when the woman dying of cancer makes you swear on her sweet, adorable service cat.Â
The arguing (if you could call it that) has drained some of Samâs energy and you see her eyes start to flutter closed. But a spark lights in her eyes, and she opens the notebook once more. At first you think she has something else to say to you about the whole crushing on Eric thing, but this sentence is for her.
My dad played beautiful piano.
A bittersweet smile rests on your lips.Â
Sam tries to put the notebook back down on her bag, but a wince tells you that the effort is hurting her. Gently, you take the notebook from her and set it down. She nods her head in thanks.Â
For the better part of an hour, Sam dozes on and off. It doesnât seem like a particularly restful sleep sheâs getting, but you hope itâs doing something to help her.Â
When Eric comes back, Frodo leading him in, he looks exhausted. Not that any of you were in top form these days, but Eric looks even more haggard than when he left. Still cute, though. Unfairly cute.
As he walks towards you and Sam on the bench, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box no bigger than a Polaroid picture. With a slight wince, Eric kneels next to Sam and begins getting the patch out and free from its adhesive.Â
Sam tilts herself to the side and you help her turn enough that she can show Eric where to place it.Â
Once itâs firmly on her skin and Sam is comfortably on her back again, it only takes a few minutes before the relief is visible. Her body has relaxed, her breathing down to a steady pace, and she looks the most at peace you've ever seen her. It feels like your heart has been run through with a sword when you think about all this poor woman must have gone through.Â
âMy dad played beautiful piano.â
Eric held Samâs notebook in his hand, smiling at the few words. You just hope thatâs the only page he stays on. He turns his head and meets Samâs eyes.
âI loved it when he would bring me to watch him play,â Sam says, voice ragged and weak. âThen weâd get pizza at Patsyâs.â
That explains the odd insistence for pizza when the world is ending.Â
âWhat happened to him?â you ask softly.
There are a few moments where Sam doesnât speak, and you begin to think sheâs not going to answer you.Â
âHe died,â she says. The pain in her watery eyes is palpable. You would want to wrap her up in a hug if she werenât in so much pain. âLike I am now.â
The sad truth said out loud at last. You havenât heard either of them say it up to this point.Â
âNot before we get pizza,â Eric tells her.Â
A small smile ticks up the corners of Samâs mouth.Â
âNot before we get pizza,â she agrees.Â
The ship is leaving the port. Itâs not too far out so it would be possible for you all to still secure passage on it. But then the dread in your stomach grows as you watch creature after creature step onto the sandy shore. They take great care to stay far enough away from the water, though.Â
You, Sam, Eric, and Frodo trudge through the wreckage of cars and building debris scattered along the road.Â
The four of you drop behind the carcass of an old van, all of you pressing your backs up against the tarnished metal.Â
A shuddering breath comes from next to you and your head whips towards Eric, who is between you and Sam. His eyes tear up and he grits his teeth, trying to ward off the anxiety thatâs creeping up.
Sam immediately presses a hand to Ericâs chest and in the lowest whisper possible says, âBreathe.â
You take one of Ericâs hands in your own and give it an encouraging squeeze. Hoping heâll follow your lead, you take a large breath in, then let it out. It helps a bit, but the anxiety is so strong. How could it not be in the situation youâre all prisoners to?
Your eyes move from Eric to Sam as you watch her nuzzle her face against Frodo and press kisses to his black and white fur. If you didnât know any better, youâd think sheâs saying goodbye to him. Then she hands Frodo to Eric, and it hits you. She was saying goodbye to Frodo. Instinct tells you to fight her on this, but how can you? One, you canât speak. And two, who are you to tell her not to do this? If it were you, youâd rather go out trying to save the lives of your companions rather than let a vicious disease let you waste and wither away, slowly and painfully as the world ends around you. Sam is thinking that her life is almost up, and sheâd rather buy yours and Ericâs lives with the short time she has left.
Sam pushes herself into a crouch as Eric clings to Frodo, holding him close to his chest. You let go of Ericâs hand so he can hold onto the cat betterâLord knows heâs already run away enough times.Â
âRun,â Sam whispers.Â
Before she takes off, you look her in the eye and nod your head once. Between that and the tears building in your eyes, you hope she sees your acknowledgment of what sheâs doing and all the gratitude you can convey to her.Â
Sam nods in return, telling you she knows. Then, sheâs gone. You see her crouch down behind cars as she makes her way through the lot. She picks up a crowbar and smashes it through a still-intact window of a car.
The smashing glass catches the attention of the creatures, and you know the time to move is now. Looking at one another, both you and Eric take a deep breath before getting up from behind the car.Â
Monsters rush past you, leaving you almost no room to dodge them as they race in the direction of the noise Sam is making. It seems like a miracle once the two of you see the dock ahead, no creatures between you and there.
Your sprint turns into a run, Eric keeping pace right beside you as he holds Frodo securely against him. A few steps onto the pier, Ericâs foot kicks a large metal can that skids a few feet away. It clangs as it tumbles, and the monsters hear it.Â
Thereâs no need for you to look back; you know theyâre coming. All energy reserves go into your legs as you run faster. The rail around the dock is broken in one place, giving you and Eric the perfect opportunity to jump into the water.Â
But theyâre getting closer.
You can hear the monsters gaining on you, and a quick glance shows one leaping in the air, aiming to land right on top of you, Eric, and Frodo. But you jump. The flash of yellow beside you brings immense relief as you hit the waterâboth of you jumped in time.Â
As you surface, you look back and see a gang of creatures waiting at the exact spot you and Eric leapt from. Two heads pop up next to you, one human and one cat, both safe. If this were any other circumstance, you would probably chuckle at how Frodo looks all wet.Â
Eric gazes back at the land with you and you both see Sam, standing between two dedicated cars.
Shouts come from the ship behind you, encouraging you to swim over to them. Without saying a word to each other though, both you and Eric take the time to look back at Sam. To watch her, this brave woman in every sense of the word. There could never be a way for either of you to thank her enough, but you hope she feels some semblance of it.Â
Wide brown eyes meet yours as you turn towards Eric. The two of you bob in the water for a few moments, looking at each other as you attempt to catch your breaths. Now itâs time to get to the boat. Itâs time to get to safety.
Once the three of you have made it to the boat, youâre helped on board and assured that youâre safe now. Blankets are brought to wrap around you, Eric, and one for Frodo as well.Â
It seems impossible to attempt relaxation after the last few daysâ events, but thereâs nothing else to do as the ship sails slowly along. Where itâs headed, you donât know. You donât particularly care at the moment, either.Â
You, Eric, and Frodo make yourself comfortable in a small alcove on deck. It feels like you fall in a heap together, collective exhaustion kicking in. You werenât even aware of how tired you were until this moment. The adrenaline finally starts to wear off and you lay your head down on Ericâs shoulder. You donât intend to, but you quickly fall asleep against him.
When you wake, your head is still on Eric. Slowly, you sit up straight and smile when you see Frodo sleeping on Ericâs chest, all curled up in his blanket. Ericâs gaze catches yours and the moment you look into the beautiful brown eyes that make your knees weak, you remember what you promised Sam. On the boat. Iâll say something to him there.
After everything youâve been through, you now understand clearer than ever what Sam meant about there being no time for embarrassment. No one knows if the next moment is their last, and do you really want to regret keeping your feelings inside? No. Plus, there was absolutely no way you could break your word to Sam after what she just did for you.Â
âEric,â you start, unsure of how to phrase what you want to say. He looks at you, waiting for you to continue. Gathering your nerve, you do. âI wantâŠI have to tell you something.â
âSure. Anything.â
Another deep breath. Samâs voice whispers in your head, you can do this.
âI donât, um, know where weâre going. Or whatâs going to happen next. I canât even begin to think about that, really. B-But I do know that I would like to stay with you for as long as youâll let me. I like being with you.â
A shy smile grows on Ericâs face, and he nods his head.Â
âI like being with you, too,â he says. âIâd love to stick with you.â
âYeah?âÂ
âYeah. But can I ask youâŠis it because you think Iâm cute?â Eric is trying his hardest not to smirk, but the look of surprise on your face threatens to overtake him.
âI-IâŠâ
âOr well,â Eric says, reaching into his pocket. He pulls out a crumpled piece of paper and holds it between the two of you, âat least thatâs what you told Sam.â
Your eyes dart down to the paper, and you recognize your and Samâs handwriting. A gasp startles out of you as you realize itâs the note you and she passed back and forth in the church.
Eric is full on grinning when you look at his face again. His shoulders shake as he chuckles, and his laugh is infectious. You start giggling yourself and bring your hands up to cover your eyes.
âOh my God, she ripped it out of the notebook and shoved it in her pocket? She thought I was gonna wimp out!â
Neither of you can stop laughing now. After being so scared and quiet for so long, it just feels so good.Â
Eric pulls out another piece of paper and hands it to you.
âShe also wrote us this sweet note.â
The letter from Sam makes you smile, cry, and oddly, feel some form of peace. Sheâs home.Â
âAw, Frodo,â you say as you fold the note back up. âYou would be the handsomest boy even if you did get fat. But no, weâre not going to feed you too much.â
Eric chuckles and holds his arm open for you. You gladly accept the invite and curl up against his side. The scent of the salt water, wet cat, and the mustiness from the blankets do nothing to cover the scent that is pure Eric. You rest your forehead against his neck as he wraps his arm snugly around you and presses a kiss to the top of your head.
âYou know,â he says softly as he lays his head against yours, âI came very close to getting you and I killed multiple times.â
âWhat?â You frown as you reach your hand out to stroke the top of Frodoâs head. âHow?â
âWell, when I first saw you, when you stepped out of your apartment, I didnât say anything. Not only because I couldnât, but I was speechless. Youâre so pretty and I froze. Sam had to push me three or four times to get me to walk again. And then there were so many times Iâd just look at you and almost blurt out how beautiful you are. Because your beauty is something thatâs impossible to keep quiet about. Then I got to know how kind you are. So compassionate, brave, selfless. Your beauty runs farther than skin deep and it made me even more of a bumbling idiot.â
You canât help but giggle as you bury your head farther into the juncture where his neck and shoulder meet.Â
âBut I do have a bone to pick with you,â Eric says.
Reluctantly, you pick your head up to look him in the eye.
âWhy?â you ask, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.
He picks the note between you and Sam back up and begins to read a part aloud.
âWhy do you think it would be heartache?
Because guys like him arenât interested in girls like me.
Guys like him? Girls like you?
Yeah. Handsome, smart, kind. And me, not those things. I donât need to feel like the rejected high school girl again right now.â
He lowers the note and shakes his head.
âNow, I donât know what kind of absolute prats you went to high school with, but anyone who rejected you is, quite literally, insane. And I donât like this talk about âgirls like you.â You make it seem like such a bad thing to be you. But youâre possibly one of the best people Iâve ever met. And I know that after only knowing you for about two days. And it didnât take me more than four seconds to see how stunning you are. Frodo and I want you to see yourself the way we do. Right, boy?â
Both of you look down at the snoozing cat and you scratch between his ears with a chuckle.
âIâll work on it,â you say earnestly.Â
Frodo tilts his head and you let your hand drop. You lift your head and Eric is so close. It would barely take any movement for his lips to be on yours. So, you make that move. The hand that was petting Frodo comes up to cup Ericâs jaw as you lean in and press your lips against his.
Ericâs body immediately sinks against yours, holding you tighter as he kisses you back with urgency. Itâs as if he remembers the two of you have more time now and he can savor this moment as he slows the kiss down, enjoying exploring your mouth at a lazy speed. Thereâs no rush anymore. Youâre safe and both here together.Â
When you part, he rests his forehead against yours and youâre pretty sure there are identical grins on both of your faces.Â
âI canât wait to hear your laugh over and over again,â you tell him.
âI canât wait to hear you say my name,â he replies.
âEric.â Itâs the first time youâve been able to say it above the lowest of whispers. âEric, Eric, Eric.â
His grin grows even larger, and he presses a quick kiss to your lips.