I asked myself to make a script badly and it went just as planned. Badly
Enter Jim Carey as The Mask. He leans as he walks as though he is trying to pick up a penny with his butt cheeks. He walks into the copacobananarama with his famous bananana flavored suit on. His green skin glistening with the sweet love juices of women around him and his shoes just shoeing away. The audience gets the idea that The Mask FUCKS. He straightens up his tie as his appearances straightens up a lesbo. The mask pulls out an icky sticky that’s been lit in his pocket this entire time
Side note: Before he pulls out the weed stick, whenever the camera pans to his pocket that is on fire, the Mask says his iconic catchphrase of “Smmmmmokinnnnn”. Pan to his pocket at least 5 times
He brings the fatty to his pursed lips and every person wishes they were that blunt.
The Mask:“Hey everybody. Want some of these shmackaroos?”
Nobody knows what the hell he’s saying but his rippling man body just woo’d them into submission. All under his will
The Mask:”*witty pop culture reference*”
The audience laughs as they know the reference The Mask is making. Everybody loves The Mask
The Mask reaches into his lemon top and whips out a blunt to everyone in the room that lands in all of their mouths. By now The Mask has made 14 women pregnant by his sheer coolness alone.
The new Mask sequel has just broken the box office for the most well received movie because the movie is good.
Then, a bunch of burly and evil looking men burst into the Copabacomma. They have guns, evil goatees, black clothing, and goatees once again. The audience can assume they are evil
Evil men: “We are evil. We are here to kill The Mask.”
The audience was right in their assumptions while the saying of never judge a book by its cover comes into play, the audiences assumptions about the men with goatees was completely true and they think that whomever made that saying was dumb and a liar because men with goatees aren’t ever good
The Mask has leaned so far down that he is laying on the floor. Everyone wishes they were the floor
The Mask:” Well hold on there slamma mamma jamma. Maybe this can be fixed B).”
The big men look confused. One of them pisses themselves because they are so confused. Not only at the situation, but at their sexuality as well
Evil men: “Explain how, The Mask”
The Mask throws off a women that was blocking his Ultra Rad eyesight.
The mask pulls out a Ruger LCP 2 handgun and shoots the men. Each of the bullets hitting several major arteries and the necks of the men. The men are dead instantly.
6 months later, The Mask is charged with manslaughter in the highest degree. He appears in court with a orange jumpsuit with the PRISONER #69 across the back of the jumpsuit
The judge sits at the judges high chair. How does he get there?
Judge:” Do you have anything to say The Mask?”
The mask looks up with a tear in his twinkly, slightly crunchy, eye.
The Mask: “*empowering speech ending with America*”
Judge: *crying, laughing, and generally being really high on pcp ”By god. Let this patriot go. Shit.”
The camera pans back to The Mask and he is back in his pee suit and looking fly as a bee.
The Mask:*looks right at the camera “And that’s how the cookie crumbles.”
The audience watches with horrid attention as the credits roll. They cry that it’s over but look into the distance as they have watched the most beautiful piece of art in cinema. They leave the theater and go back to see the next showing but in 3D
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