Gemini

I miss you and I want to tell myself is a normal part of sharing so much life with one other human. I remember your smell, the way your hair air dried after showers. The way we sat in the shower together and caught up on all the time we missed apart. The way your eyes sunk when you were sad. The side eye "I'm sorry" look every time a work call interrupted something important. Memories haunt us. I am haunted by those big eyes that were unable to tell me the truth, or even lies I wanted to hear. Could only tread on silence because we both knew we were broken. Broken together and broken apart. A love that no longer worked. A love that became lonely and empty. Longing together and apart. A love that became so painful that I questioned self-worth. A love that became so painful that sleeping alone, being alone trapped in anxiety was a normal thing for me. I still wake up spartically at night haunted by emotions that I felt time and time again. Night after night. Waiting on you. Waiting on us. To fall apart.

If everything is temporary, including pain but not limited to love. Does that mean that true love will never be immortal? A never dying love. Existing only in books and dreams - but fading - into darkness - and loneliness takes its place.