if i look back, i am lost
Claire Keane
Xuebing Du
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Noah Kahan
Cosimo Galluzzi
NASA
★
titsay
The Bowery Presents
noise dept.
art blog(derogatory)
$LAYYYTER
Show & Tell
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Product Placement
Jules of Nature
ojovivo
tannertan36
𓃗
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Uzbekistan
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from United Kingdom
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seen from Germany
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seen from Malaysia
@thingsiactuallyheard
...while landing in Atlanta
*Airplane slows right beside the gate and people start standing up*
Flight Attendant: Please return to your seats until we are completely stopped and the seatbelt sign is turned off!!
*People sit down.*
*Less than 2 seconds later the seatbelt sign turns off.*
Guy At The Front: THAT'S A POWER MOVE RIGHT THERE! PLAYIN' ME LIKE A YOYO!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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In Terminal A
Girl: Dad?
Father: Yes?
Girl: Will you get me a ginger ale while you're up?
*Father stares from where he's sitting to where she's sitting and back to where he's sitting*
Girl: What?
Father: I'm not up.
Girl: ......
Father: .....
Girl: .....I don't understand.
Father: We can agree on that.
....in an airport
*2 old men talking about a young fit guy walking by*
OM1: When I was younger I had better shoulders.
OM2: Uh huh.
OM1: It's true! Better quads too.
OM2: Maybe.
OM1: Maybe? What does that mean?
OM2: It means you might have been ripped when you were young George but today you're just an old man with big boobs.
....in an airport bar
Lady, while reaching over one friend to hug another friend.
"How does my arm pit taste?"
That is a super-comfortable friendship right there.
....while boarding a plane
Attendant: It's hot in here. You all think you can turn up the AC?
Pilot: .....ummmmm...
Co-Pilot: .......well....
Attendant: What?
Pilit: It's not hot in here.
Co-Pilot: It's actually a little cool.
Attendant: Then why am I boiling?
Co-Pilot: My guess is menopause.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
...in a corporate presentation
Speaker (for the 3rd time): .... Okay, I'm going to be honest with you about this....
Attendee: Just this?
Speaker: ...excuse me?
Attendee: I'm wondering....you said "about this." Sooooooo does that mean everything else you've been saying you weren't being honest?
Valid concern. Bad presentation language.
....over an airport loudspeaker
Customer Service: HOT.....DOG. REPRESENTATIVE OF.....HOT......DOG....PLEASE REPORT TO CUSTOMER SERVICE. YOUR PARTY IS WAITING. THAT'S HOT....DOG.
Kid walking by: How do I get that job Dad?
Dad (not missing a beat): If I knew that my life would have turned out differently.
....from a new friend
A Mexican translator and an American figuring out breakfast...
Her: We go to breakfast I hope.
Her 2: I hope we're going to breakfast too!
Her: Si! We go I hope!
Her 2: Yes! I hope so too!
Her: I hope!
Her 2: Me too!
They pull up to the restaurant.
Her 2: Ohhhhhh. You said IHOP!
Her: Si. I hope.
...driving through Cincinnati
A Canadian and a Buckeye driving down the street in Mason.
Her: Look a boot!
Her 2: About what?
Her: A. BOOT.
Her 2: ABOUT. WHAT?
Her: A BOOT!
Both husbands now dying of laughter.
Husband 2: Honey...there's a boot in the street.
Her 2: Oh.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
...at a Japanese restaurant
Her: What did you order?
Him: A Geisha Martini.
Her 2: A what??
Him: A Geisha.
Her 2: What's in that?
Him 2: Everything a man needs.
....at a resort in Mexico
*Resort staff walking by...*
Staff: Buenos Naches
Her: Hola...
*Once he's 5 feet past.*
Her 2: What'd he say?
Her: Buenos Naches.
Her 2: I heard "plate of nachos."
Him: Yes please!
....at a conference
Three business guys talking about their travel to get to the event. Mid sentence after regaling his colleagues with the woes of his travel one guy busts out with...
...."I did get a free taco from Taco Bell though."
He did it in the same voice as the "I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night" commercials.
Brilliant.
...at the beach
Lady watching a young mom walk by with her toddler
Lady: She's adorable.
Mom: Thanks.
Lady: I have one exactly the same age. How old is she?
Mom: .......
Lady: ........
....in airport security
Her: Should I take my boots off?
Security Guard: It's not required.
Her: I should.
Security Guard: You can if you want.
Her: I don't want to but I think I have to.
Security Guard: I'm saying you don't have to.
Her: But I think I do.
Security Guard: ......
Her: They ALWAYS.... usually set off the metal detector.
Security Guard: Always usually. Wow.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
...while shopping at Home Depot
Mother: Yes I’m sure!
Daughter: I don’t know how you can be so sure.
Mother: Well how long do you think a foot is?
Daughter: Everyone’s feet are different mom!
Mother: ......
I almost laughed out loud as I walked behind them.
Let’s talk about standards…
Two young ladies sit down next to me in the airport lounge.
1st: Soooo??
2nd: I don’t know. I mean his car was nice. Oh! And it was clean!
1st: That’s a good sign.
2nd: Totally.
1st: …annnnnd?
*laughter*
2nd: He seems safe. I’ll probably date him.
…….
Wait….
What??
Clearly I'm out of touch with dating priorities.
