Observations From An Airport

This guy pushes his way forward without waiting his turn to get off the airplane and when I step into the jet bridge I see him standing in line waiting for his planeside checked bag.

What age is too old to be saying "Hey Girl!" and what age is too old to be hearing it? Asking for a friend.

Is there anything better than sitting beside a 75+ businessman who drops "Bro" every 6th word while he tries to close a deal for 15 million?

Today I was put through secondary screening because everyone fears the Sword of Fire & Ice. Even TSA.

TSA: Sir do you have anything sharp or dangerous in your backpack?

Me: I don't think so.

TSA opens my backpack and pulls out my deck box.

TSA: Then what's in this?

Me: .........

TSA: ........

Me: A box.

TSA: What's in it?

Me: Cards.

TSA open the box and SOFI is sitting in top. They just look at me.

TSA: .........

Me: That right there is all the weapon I need.

TSA: You can go.

Me: (mutters) Do you mean pass turn?

TSA: What?!

If you're going to get that personal with me, the very least you can do is tell me you're going to call me.

Got flagged as SSSS (which means secondary screening required) today and I have questions. So many questions. Here's the first...

Air Canada's idea of compensation for a 3.5 hour delay is a $10 food voucher.

$10.

Of airport food!

Me: I'll take "Never. Not even once" for $1000

Host: No weekend flights to Toronto leave here on time.

Roll aboard bags mean getting out faster once you land, but there is a freedom in checking you bag and not having to worry about overhead space.

If you fill out a bag tag and attach it to the backpack you're walking around wearing....you look like a kid with an "if lost return to..." tag.