“Do it scared” “do it alone” are all great tips, but my biggest takeaway from therapy is do it messy. This is especially true if you’re getting out of a burnout, which I experience often. Literally just do it messy. You don’t need to pick the perfect trail to walk, the perfect playlist to listen to, whatever the fuck it is. You don’t need to have a meticulous to do list and wake up at the exact time you planned and drink the exact amount of water you planned to drink. Like the biggest thing for people like me to remember is sometimes it’s okay to do it messy. Put on a random yt workout and just get it done in sweats. Do 5 minutes of a daunting task and go from there. Sometimes just getting up is a win during intense burnouts or depressive funks. Literally just do it messy.

The older I get the more convinced I become that the most genuinely attractive quality a woman can have is the visible impression that her life is full without you in it. Not performed aloofness, not manufactured scarcity, not games, an actual life with actual substance and actual joy that does not have a vacancy sign hanging in the window waiting for someone to come along and make it worthwhile. That quality is built through the accumulation of genuine experiences, genuine interests, genuine friendships, genuine ambitions, and it cannot be faked in any sustained way because it is either there or it is not. Build the life first. The rest follows from that and follows easily.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Remember that if you want to do more of something, you have to do less of something else. It's that time of year where people set goals for the new year and they have plans and hopes and it's always focusing on what they want to do more of. More studying, more exercise, more crafting, more socialising, more making things from scratch. Okay, great. What are you going to do less of in order to have the time and energy to do more of those things you really want to do?

This woman in her mid 40s who just started working at the yoga studio is so skittish and she always seems to come into a room as if she is forcing her presence on us, so I started chatting her up and I find out she just moved here, has 3 kids, and feels that everyone is dedicated to misunderstanding her. I found it so interesting because she feels like the epitome of a held breath just waiting for something to go wrong. is it that people are dedicated to misunderstanding her or is it that she is uncomfortable in every room she walks into? Instead of countering her intuition I told her “oh you know who will just love you?” And introduced her to two other women I know who are in her age group. Now they’re all friends and every time she comes to the studio she seems much more comfortable :) if she had continued to stay stuck in her narrative, who knows what would happen, she certainly wouldn't have these new friends who cherish her.

as a woman you need to be so careful with yourself and very very protective because the world will not protect you. We see it every single day, the girls being asked what were you wearing, the murder victims having their private business splashed all over the news as if that justifies their killers actions, the domestic abuse victims being told that they are in fact the abusers and being terrorized by female fans, friends and family members, the little girls raised by male-centred woman hating mothers and of course the classic all powerful ''she should have chosen better" after anything bad happens to a woman. Vet, vet and vet again, keep standards sky high, focus on your money, education and career and run like hell at the sight of a pink flag much less red, what's on the line for you is safety and happiness in world that makes it clear it thinks we are not entitled to either. You have much more at risk and to lose than you think.