i've got ian in this life— fucking wow, dude. i'm probably fucking high or something. i did take 17 pills of antipsychotics in one go earlier, though. none of this shit is real and so am i. fucking fuck this life. god, are you even up there? what do i do with this much love in my heart when i can't even spare some for myself? help, help, fucking help me anyone, i'm losing it














