writing the things I shouldn't

This is because she actually WANTS Peeta and only gives Other Guy affection when he’s in pain or he’s lowkey manipulating her into feeling bad for not wanting him.

Think about it, she’s been his friend for at least four years. During that time she’s smiled at home, been around him, presumably touched him. When he hugs her during their goodbye? Nothing, except for observations on how his body smells (I think? The man is so unremarkable honestly I’ve read this books dozens of times and still need to fact check everything he does). When she hugs him on their return, still nothing. When he kisses her in CF, confusion. When she kisses him, again with the clinical observations. Then she wants him to forget it. Then in the last one, she specifically says their kisses taste of “heat, ashes and misery”, which is so unbelievably depressing I almost feel sorry for him.

And honestly, he knows that Katniss doesn’t want him. It’s why he says that she’ll choose whoever she can’t survive without. He knows that most of their relationship is based on survival, but that if she feels obligated to someone she’ll do whatever it takes to protect them, including kissing Other Guy because he’s in pain. Where Peeta by that point isn’t sure whether their relationship was due to love or survival because he’s been given examples of both. Lover Katniss vs Survival Katniss. But Other Guy has only seen Obligated Katniss or Survival Katniss. He doesn’t know what her desire looks like. I feel for Katniss when she says it’s cold for him to say it and for Peeta not to refute it, but that’s how Other Guy sees her, and the best he can hope to get for her. Poor Peeta doesn’t really know whether he’s loved or not, which is why he doesn’t.

He also recently asked Katniss whether he could grow wings, so there’s that.

Because, fun fact: rue, (evening) primrose, and dandelions are all yellow flowers. All three of the characters associated with them are explicitly linked with hope throughout the series.

Peeta is the obvious one. He's the one who gives her the bread at the beginning that not only physically feeds her in the moment, which in turn inspires her to remember that she is capable of survival, but its probably the first act of kindness remembers since her father has died. The book specifically shows how everyone has abandoned them and there's nowhere to turn. Nobody gives her hope until Peeta does, both as at the beginning of and the end of the story. In addition to making a good salad, dandelions are considered pioneer plants because after a land has been destroyed in some way they're the first ones to colonise it. Just like when Peeta comes back to 12 to help rebuild it.

Then, there's Prim. Prim frequently reminds Katniss that there's beauty in the world. She's the reason Katniss fights throughout the first Games, and you can see that she makes Katniss softer. In CF, she specifically mentions that Prim is one of the reasons she's supposed to keep fighting, because she wants a better world for her. And then in MJ, she feels that hope reignited when Prim says they're training her to be a doctor when she says "this is the sort of future a rebellion could bring". She wants Prim to be reborn into a different world where these things can happen, and she wants to fight to make that world a reality. Yes, evening primrose wilts quite quickly after it blooms (iirc), but it also blooms several times a year, so Katniss will always be reminded of her sister.

My personal favourite, however, is Rue. In the arena, Rue reminds Katniss of Prim, which brings out her protective nature, but also of herself, which is one of the reasons they relate to each other. Both are older sisters who are protective of their siblings. Katniss says it's a bad idea to ally with Rue but she does it anyway for these reasons. But I think the reason Rue represents hope for Katniss is because of how she protects her in the arena. She warns her about the tracker-jackers and draws the poison out of her body. When Peeta describes the Games, he says that the world around you and the people in it become your final reality. Katniss - and anyone else, for that matter - would not have expected a singular act of kindness from the moment they entered the Games. They know the time for kindness is over. I know Snow must have been screaming, crying and throwing up during the 74th because between Katniss volunteering, Peeta protecting her, then Rue protecting her, then Katniss singing to her, and then Peeta and Katniss protecting each other and refusing to live without the other, the rebellion was already starting. Rue could have left her to die, and didn't, which Katniss acknowledges. Instead, she saved her life and lost her own. This is the act of goodness that spurs her on in the Games, and together with Prim, in CF when she considers running away. In sleep, she sees Rue reborn in the same world as Prim, safe in dreams where nothing can hurt her. Dancing in the meadow. Katniss helps create that world for her children, where they play in a field of yellow flowers, likely including Rue. And while the meaning of the name Rue is significant because Katniss regrets not saving her, it's likely significant for Snow and the Gamemakers as well, who likely regret her entering the Games in the first place; the plant (not the flower; the Everlark babies are safe!) Rue is poisonous to the touch, and as soon as Rue enters the Games, it's the beginning of the end of Snow's Games. Rue poisoned the Games with hope! And helped make the Mockingjay.

So anyway, I do think Peeta gives Katniss the most hope for rebirth. They are in love, after all. But Rue and Prim definitely gave her that bright yellow, too.

per your last post, could you gift us an essay explaining katniss's subconscious in this quote??

👀👀👀

Apologies for the delay @thesmileykate ! I wasn't ignoring you, I was jet lagged.

I guess maybe I should have said Katniss' subconscious throughout this whole section, because I tend to think of her subconscious between the tour and the quell as one long thought process, but anyway, here goes.

Katniss subconscious is my MVP of this series, for a lot of reasons - most importantly, that it always guides her actions, desires and hopes even if (especially if) she's saying or even doing something else. You see it a lot throughout the series, but it's very heavy in CF because she's falling in love with Peeta but being pulled in so many directions. Also, she's an unreliable narrator.

“I stop his lips with a kiss.”

“I do the only thing I can think of. I lean in and kiss Peeta full on the mouth.”

I love this because it’s such a brilliant parallel to Katniss’ last “bitter winter”, but also expands on it. When her father died, and her mother was (functionally) gone, Katniss had no hope. When Peeta gave her the bread, he not only pushed her to survive, but he reminded her that “hope was not lost”. It was the first time she felt joy in a long time, that she could feed herself with a skill she loved, that she could forage for salad with her sister, that “life could be good again”.

Haymitch had his brother and mother ripped from him after the Games, so I like to think that he relates to how much she adores Prim and low-key wants to make sure her innocence is protected.

Katniss: Marriage? KIDS? In THIS economy?

Peeta: *lies to literally all of Panem that he and Katniss got married and she’s having his baby*