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@thewitcg
hi ho fellow wizards, witches and non binary warlocks
it's your girl layla, giving some tips and tricks from her apartment. ask me anything, i am down for it. i know a lot about spells, magic history, potion making, beasties, the works. just keep it civial. i don't want a repeat of the wizard witch war of 2018.
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Hey this is the representative of the witch Covent. Uh you are still yet to sign off the peace treaty… should we be worried about that?
Your witch pal
@thewitcg
…but enough about that. The good mangoes are cooking into season these days
Hail, to all that may listen!
If I win the Throne to the Officialverse, ALL THE LANDS SHALL NOT HAVE PROPERTY! The land belongs to no one but @nature-official-blog, that means:
no rent
no capitalism
if thou wish to join out brigade against @salamander-offical, (whomst has allowed my position in my tower to be compromised by rent i was near unable to pay due to the extortionate prices), sendeth me an ask or tag thy post with ‘revolt against salamander’
@assistant-offical, @yearning--offical @7-eleven-offical @coffee-shop-offical @aftonsparv-ikea-alien-offical @awesome-offical @bill-cipher-offical @nebulas-stars @rice-officall @shoe-offical @will-solace-offical @thalia-grace-offical @vagabond-offical @white-boy-offical @thewitcg @grandpa-offical @oppossum-offical
You had me on rent. Living in an apartment, I get a lot of that. I and the Covent will assistance anyway we can
Dear curse wizard
I know this letter will have me cursed, have my girlfriend next to me to remove it. I just wanted a bit of advice.
So it’s about my ex that cheated on me. I was wondering if you have a curse I could give him. Like a really bad one. He deserves it
Your witch friend
@thewitcg
I AM NOT YOUR PERSONAL ANGRY FUCKIN CURSE THEM YOURSELVES SHIT THATS LITERALLY WHY THEY INVENTED KARMIC VARIANCE
Also I forgot something
@thewitcg
Curse it surprise double mortgage
oh yeah thats a good one. he's gonna get evicted from that stupid ass tower. thank you. for your good deed, you get an invitation to the next covent meeting. yes, there will be cake.
HELP. HELP I ACCIDENTLY CAST DOOM INSTEAD OF LOOM, MY APARTMENT HAS BEEN TORN TO SHREDS. your witch pal @thewitcg
Oops you may be sued for damages because of your negligence
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dear lord of mold this is the local witch Covent. it seems that you have uh... you seem to have taken away marina, one of the witches. i don't know if you've used her body to make one of your minions with your mold or used her for something else. but we kinda... want her back. she means quite a lot to me you witch friend @thewitcg
What makes you think I took her?
Anyway, I can tell you I definitely didn't infect her and subsume her into my hivemind, because honestly till recently I almost exclusively used copies of that slime guy I first infected as hosts and even though I've branched out and started assimilating adventurers I know none of them are witches named Marina.
It's possible she came to my dungeon or wizard tower and fell to one of my devious magical traps without my active involvement, but if so that's kind of on her for trespassing. I guess I can check, though.
Or actually, not long ago I realized I'd accumulated enough host bodies I was having trouble handling them all so I split off half of them into a separate, independent hivemind; are you sure it's not the other mold hivemind that's got her? I'd ask it myself, but, you know, we haven't really kept in touch.
yeah we found her. she fell into the hole just outside your tower. is... is that meant to be a trap? or is that just a natural hole?
Good afternoon, sorry to bother you.
I'm interested in what the regeneration potion is made of? Due to the fact that I often fight and am often badly injured, I often drink regeneration potions, but I have never seen the composition of such potions anywhere, and I wonder that I drink so often.
yeah sure sure uh let me check the spell books *flips through pages* ah yeah. uh they contain blood of hydra, arsenic of Walhalla, tail of newt and hair of hare. as long as you don't chug the bottles, you should be fine. just if you feel short of breath, that's your throat closing up from the arsenic, so stop for moment to let it pass
Oi, I need one of you fucks to magic me to sleep
I got you.
AD SOMNUM
There you go. Sleep well friend
Quick rune tips!
this is the poison runes. a very simple rune that poisons whatever it is carved on (example food). it only effects once the object come in contact with the mouth. the lines in the top right signify it's strength. these runes will not kill, just make the cursed very ill
BUT
please remember to ADD THE LINES! if you don't, it turns into instant death. and thats not good for fucking with your ex (the fun ends when their dead). it is also an illegal rune in most kingdoms, countries, whatever. so be careful!
dear iffy by saying that you are the one who decides wizard posting, you give free reign to all the witches. we are currently stealing pepsi from the gas station, and there is little you can do to stop us your witch pal @thewitcg
OH GOD-
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Witches be bitches wizards be lizards... but what be warlocks?
not so wicked with of the north, 1678
hey wizard guy i just wanted to let you know that you still owe me five shmucks from when i removed that troll for you. your witch friend @thewitcg
What are you the central wizard bank?
like relax, ill pay you next snowfall (i live near the equator) or as soon as the bitchass gnome lets me repossess my tower
and you said that LAST snowfall!!
I aint paying shit to that witch i still gotta pay for my homunculi's Magic School tuition
ya know i have tumblr to, right? it's five shmucks, not your lifesavings... wait are you THAT broke?
"Did you hear about what [insert celebrity] did -"
