“You can get addicted to the thought of suicide, just as surely as you can get addicted to the thought that drinking a glass or two of Beaujolais will make everything seem a little easier, just as you can get addicted to sexual thoughts or thoughts about buying stuff or the importance of status or likes on an Instagram feed. I have come to understand that I am addicted to the thought of suicide and that lately I am what we might call a recovering suicide addict.”

I cannot stand small talk, because I feel like there's an elephant standing in the room shitting all over everything and nobody is saying anything. I'm just dying to say, “Hey, do you ever feel like jumping off a bridge?" or "Do you feel an emptiness inside your chest at night that is going to swallow you?" But you can't say that at a cocktail party.