The UltraViolet Alliance

After our hiatus, the UltraViolet Alliance is coming back on June first with more bi+ content! What topics do you want to see covered in the future? What other ways could the UVA support the community? Comment below or go to the survey on our page to make your voice heard!

We’ll see you on June First for Pride!

To better understand our audience and connect without community, we at UltraViolet have created a short survey. If you are interested, please take a few minutes to let us know what you want to see from us in the future. Responses are anonymous, but feel free to leave an email address or social media handle if you want a direct response to any of your questions. Thank you so much for your time!

Every week, the UltraViolet Allegiance will be highlighting bi+ media and the queer creators who make them! If you have a favorite artist, writer, singer, webseries, book, webcomic, etc. that explicitly features bi/pan/poly/omnisexuality, let us know! We’d love to spread the word about them!

Featured musician: Torrey Mercer

Torrey Mercer (she/her) is a bisexual musician responsible for fun, poppy bops like “Boys/Girls”! Our favorite lines have to be “I like boys, girls, and in between”, and “the heart doesn’t get a choice”. You can check Torrey Mercer out here and watch the video for “Boys/Girls” here!

Featured webcomic: Heartstopper by Alice Oseman

Heartstopper is a romance that follows two boys in love as they navigate sexuality and the ups and downs of coming out in high school. One of the main characters is canonically bisexual! Available on the tapas app. Volume one of Heartstopper has recently been published and volume two is set to follow this July! You can order volume one here and preorder volume two here! 5/5 rainbows, v gay and lovely.

Featured artist: Alice Oseman

Alice Oseman (she/they) is the queer author of stories like Heartstopper, Solitaire, Radio Silence, and I Was Born for This. Check out her work on her website to learn more about it here!

Featured podcast/vodcast: CollegeHumor’s Tales From the Closet

Each episode, three new queer guests join host Ally Beardsley (they/them) to discuss stories about growing up queer, coming out stories, advice for navigating cisheteronormative culture, and a ~haunted word~ chosen to spark old queer memories and conversations. You can experience this hour-long journey semiweekly on youtube, the dropout app, and where other major podcasts are distributed. (Contains strong language.)

Featured short film: Her First Time by Jenna Larson

Hey there! Due to recent illness, we’re running a little behind schedule, but we’ll be back with new content as soon as we can. Thanks for your patience!

Let’s get it all out there on the table: there are a ton of hurtful myths out there about bisexual people and none of them are our fault. In fact, many biphobic stereotypes are actually widely perpetuated inside the LGBTQ+ community. No matter how accepting we pretend to be, there are always lgtq+ biphobes, lgbq+ transphobes, lgbtq+ acephobes, and other forms of discrimination (racism/sexism/ableism/xenophobia/etc.) within our own ranks. It’s not a perfect community because people aren’t perfect. But as a group that claims to be open and accepting of all queer people, we should definitely be holding ourselves to a higher standard than most.

Below are just some of the hurtful myths that bi people face:

Myth: Bisexuality isn’t real/valid. - Fact: it is valid and it always has been! You’re just confused because you’re not bi and therefore you don’t feel the need to understand it.

Myth: Bi people are cheaters - Fact: Bisexual people are just as likely to desire monogamy as anyone else. Having the potential to be attracted to a larger group of people than most does not mean you want or need to be with more than one person at a time. Many bisexual people--the author of this post included!--desire closed, committed relationships with one other person and no one else. The idea that bisexuality changes your desire for monogamy (or polyamory or whatever else!) stems directly and completely from biphobia.

Myth: Bi people can’t be monogamous because they need to have at least one male and one female partner at all times in order to feel whole - Fact: Bisexuality is not--nor has it ever been--inherently duogamous. Bi people do not need a male partner and a female partner in order to feel complete. Also, this is a pretty transphobic look at bisexuality, which brings us to our next myth…

Myth: Bisexuality is transphobic - Fact: bisexuality--which can only be defined by people who identify as bisexual--has been inclusive of all genders the entire time! It is literally stated in the Bisexual Manifesto of 1990 that bisexuality is not “binary or duogamous in nature”. Plainly put, bisexuality doesn’t mean two genders! And only transphobes think that being attracted to men and women would somehow not include our trans brothers, sisters, and siblings! Nonbinary people are not only included in the spectrum of genders that bisexual people are attracted to, but many nonbinary people--the author of this post included--actually identify as bisexual! Not pansexual, not polysexual or omnisexual or anything else--bisexual.

Myth: Bi people are just indecisive! They all pick a side eventually. - Fact: Bisexuality is a whole, real, fluid sexuality that has nothing to do with “sides”. Do a lot of bi people eventually find someone they want to settle down with? Yes! Does that equal picking a side? Not even close! Being bisexual means you’ll be bisexual before, during, and after every relationship in your life because it’s a part of who you are! The only reason people say this is because of biphobia and the prevailing idea that you have to see someone with two partners of different genders simultaneously to think they are bisexual and not straight or gay.

Myth: bi people are slutty/dirty - Fact: it’s this kind of narrow-minded, slut-shaming attitude that contributes to bisexual people having some of the highest rates of depression of anyone inside or outside the community! You only need to think critically for two seconds to see that this toxic mindset literally doesn’t make sense. So...you think straight women are only sluts if they sleep around, but bi women are sluts regardless of how they behave? What about polysexual people who are saving their first time for the right person? What about omniromantic asexuals who never want to be intimate with someone? What about panromantic demisexuals who have only had a small number of partners? Are they sluts too? Does that make sense to you? Of course not. Because your sexuality doesn’t determine your behavior. (And even if it did, calling people “slutty” or dirty for having sex is disgusting and reductive and incredibly rude. Keep that backwards talk out of our spaces.)

Myth: Bi people don’t need their own space in the LGBTQIA+ community - Fact: we do! Bi people are regularly pushed out of other queer spaces for not being seen as “queer enough” and pushed out of straight spaces for not being straight. And since we face some of the highest levels of depression, sexual assault, and domestic violence in the community on top of everything else, we need a space of our own to get real about those issues without being talked over by biphobes.

Myth: I’m not biphobic/that biphobic--I’m gay/lesbian/trans/queer/ace/etc.! - Fact: being in the LGBTQIA+ community doesn’t make you immune to biphobia! In fact, some of the most hurtful stereotypes about bisexuality are perpetuated within the community! Gay men and lesbians are the first to shut bi people out of queer spaces and call us cheaters and posers for not being exclusively attracted to one gender.

Myth: Well it’s not actually biphobic to… - I’m gonna stop you right there. Bi people are the only ones who get to decide what is and isn’t biphobic, okay? Just like trans people are the only ones who get to define transphobia, lesbians are the only ones who get to define lesbophobia, and asexual people are the only ones who can define acephobia. If it’s not your community being attacked, you don’t have the power to validate or invalidate the pain they feel. When a bi person tells you your behavior is biphobic, LISTEN. We know our own pain better than you do.

Myth: Bi people are “half gay/half straight” - nope! Bisexuality is its own sexuality and comes with its own culture, history, and set of challenges! To say that bi people are half gay and half straight is to ignore all of that in order to put us into a box we didn’t ask for. Not only are many bi people not split 50/50 on gender preference, but it isn’t really your business to ask anyway!

Myth: It’s easier for bi people than it is for gay people because they can choose to be straight. Fact: bisexual people don’t choose to be anything! Even in m/f relationships, bi people face a ton of stigma from, once again, inside and outside the LGBTQIA+ community. Regardless of relationship status, bisexual people still face homophobia, biphobia, and constant erasure. There is no cheat code for bisexual people, which is definitely why we’re the most closeted group in the LGBTQIA+ community.

Friendly reminder that bisexual people are real people and that we deserve to control our own narratives without biphobes entering our spaces to spread hateful lies about a group of people they clearly want nothing to do with. Keep that in mind when considering commenting on this post.

Stay safe and Happy Pride!

Disclaimer: even though the author of this post has done a fair amount of research, there may still be errors or contested definitions below. We welcome any and all constructive criticism and feedback should you find one or more of these definitions to be contrary to your own understanding of them.

Let’s get one thing out of the way right now: sexuality being fluid doesn’t mean that labels don’t mean anything. In fact, some people—the author of this post included!—really like labels! To some people, they really help to clarify what can often be fuzzy concepts and identify communities of people! However, not everyone feels comfortable with labeling themselves, thus blanket terms like “queer” exist. Whether or not one chooses to label themselves is a choice that everyone makes at least once in their lives.

That being said, many people who encounter the label “bisexual” find it to be too limiting or old-fashioned. The prefix “bi-”, of course, is the culprit, as it leads to all sorts of confusing notions of bisexuality that bisexual people have actively rejected for decades. To put it quite simply, the term “bisexual” literally just refers to people who are attracted to more than one gender. Unless you are gay, lesbian, asexual, or straight, you are a part of the bisexual community unless you decide to opt out--and we want you to be here!

For those who are interested in learning the general definitions of each label, here is a(n ultimately incomplete) list of the more common sexual orientations, grouped by type:

Asexuality - The asexual community also includes people who identify as aromantic, greyromantic, greysexual, demiromantic, and demisexual (see below).

Asexual - anyone who does not experience sexual attraction to members of any gender.

Aromantic - anyone who does not experience romantic attraction to members of any gender.

Demisexual - Anyone who can only experience sexual attraction to someone after forming a strong, emotional bond with them.

Demiromantic -  Anyone who can only experience romantic attraction to someone after forming a strong, emotional bond with them.

Greysexual - experiences sexual attraction only in very rare circumstances. Close to asexual, but with the potential to occasionally experience sexual attraction.

Greyromantic - experiences romantic attraction only in very rare circumstances. Close to aromantic, but with the potential to occasionally experience romantic attraction.

Bisexual - anyone who experiences attraction to more than one gender. Not duogamous or binary in nature, despite the name. Bisexuality includes pansexuality, omnisexuality, polysexuality, and all non-monosexual queer identities.

Bisexual - anyone who experiences sexual attraction to two or more genders. Many who choose the specific label do so to denote variations in attraction based on gender.

Biromantic - anyone who experiences romantic attraction to two or more genders. Many who choose the specific label do so to denote variations in attraction based on gender.

Omnisexual - anyone who experiences sexual attraction to any and all genders. Many who choose the label do so to denote variations in attraction based on gender.

Omniromantic - anyone who experiences romantic attraction to any and all genders. Many who choose the label do so to denote variations in attraction based on gender.

Pansexual - anyone who experiences sexual attraction without regard to gender. Many who choose the label do so to indicate that attraction does not vary based on gender.

Panromantic - anyone who experiences romantic attraction without regard to gender. Many who choose the label do so to indicate that attraction does not vary based on gender.

Polysexual - anyone who experiences sexual attraction to two or more genders, but does not experience attraction to all of them. Many who choose the label do so to indicate that their attraction does not span the entire gender spectrum.

Polyromantic - anyone who experiences romantic attraction to two or more genders, but does not experience attraction to all of them. Many who choose the label do so to indicate that their attraction does not span the entire gender spectrum.

Monosexual - someone who experiences attraction to one gender. Heterosexual and homosexual people alike fall into this category.

Heterosexuality - attraction exclusively to the “opposite” gender.

Gay - attraction exclusively to same-gender people. Used as a replacement for the word homosexual, but also to refer specifically to homosexual male-aligned people.

Lesbian - female-aligned people who experience attraction exclusively to same-gender people. Some lesbians identify as some form of nonbinary, but still experience attraction exclusively toward other female-aligned people.

Queer - anyone who is LGBTQIA+. Note: Only includes straight people when said straight people are trans!)

This isn’t meant to be the final word in labels, but this is how we at the UltraViolet Alliance understand these terms and how we will be using them until further notice. Should you feel that one or more of these is an error or that the definition chosen even somewhat misrepresents a label, please let us know! We’re here to learn together.

Stay safe and Happy Pride!

-Rev. Gaia

When I was just coming out, I did so in a very isolated space. I was living away from home for the first time, my only roommate for the semester had her own bedroom and didn’t really talk much to me, and I was pulling away from my closest friends because of my depression. I knew I didn’t have a community of people around me who were ready to welcome me, but I knew I needed one and I knew I could find one online.

The only problem was that I wasn’t ready yet to be visible yet and the last time I had tried to make a secret account online, I was discovered almost immediately. I had to make sure this time would be different, or I wouldn’t be able to feel safe. Below are the steps I took to make sure my IRL acquaintances wouldn’t be able to find me.

(Obviously you can pick and choose which of these steps will work for you and which ones might be overkill for your particular situation, but this is what I did to keep my overbearing, super-strict parents from discovering my sexuality without my consent.)

Open a new email account (I use gmail, more on that later). Make sure the email doesn’t have your name, birth year, nickname, or anything else in it that people you know IRL could connect to you. Don’t connect it to your current email or phone number. No photos of you. (This is important because you don’t want anyone with your old contact info to see your new account as someone in their contact list. Why every app seems to think you’d automatically want people with your email address to follow your twitter is beyond me.)

Get a second number through an app. I use my new gmail account and just add a google voice number, thus why I suggested it. Only use that number for the email and social media accounts you want to make for your “queer accounts”. ((If you want to use twitter, this step is important because they make you add a phone number shortly after you start tweeting to verify your identity as a non-robot human.)) Turn off notifications for this app to avoid anyone seeing anything!

Use your new contact info to make your queer accounts! Use your preferred name (preferably something new to you), add your pronouns (yes, even if you’re cis! support your trans fam!), and your sexual orientation in your bio. Get used to the idea of owning and loving your identity, but keep in mind that you can change it as you see fit. Just do what feels right now and don’t worry about having to stick to it later if you don’t want to.

Remember, steer clear of info your IRL people might know. Use a fake birthday (I usually pick halloween lol) if you add one at all and don’t use pictures of yourself, your room, your house, your car, your pets, your friends, or anything else that might give it away until you’re ready for the possibility of being outed.

Make sure you don’t tell detailed stories of your life in case you’re spotted. Change everyone’s names if you tell a story about your real life, don’t talk about which city or town you live in, don’t add pictures of your house/car/etc., just keep everything extremely vague for your own protection. Your online friends will most likely not question it, but they will understand if you ever explain.

DON’T FOLLOW YOUR FRIENDS. I did this once and instagram suggested my queer account to my friends because I used it to follow my main account and my IRL acquaintances! One of my closest friends checked out my queer account and asked if it was mine because of the accounts I followed, my speech patterns, and my posting habits. It isn’t worth it! Also try not to follow all the same verified accounts as your main. Pick the accounts with a more universal appeal and a wider audience than your favorite op-ed writer, then leave out the rest.

Follow new topics and people you think are funny and aspirational and cool. Find people who discuss topics you like and get that content on your tl so you can learn more about it! Then find the people your new people follow and check those people out too.

Don’t be afraid to occasionally comment on people’s posts. Leaving comments as your truest self is liberating, and being seen doesn’t hurt either. (The feeling I got the first time I started a thought with the words “as a bisexual” was euphoric. Highly recommend it.) Cultivate a rapport with people you like who care about people and think critically--maybe you’ll even become internet friends! Don’t harass them, though. The line between friendship and harassment is easy to miss when you’re not looking for it.

Listen, listen, listen! Learn everything you can. Try to find multiple perspectives on a topic before you jump in with your opinion. The issue might be deeper than you know. Utilize google to help you define terms you don’t know or find news stories people are discussing rather than asking for second or third-hand takes on a given issue.

Engage, engage, engage! If google doesn’t or can’t help, ask questions. People like to engage with one another, so as long as you’re as informed and polite as possible, you don’t need to worry about hurting someone’s feelings! And if you do, they can easily let you know so you don’t make the same mistake later. (Pro-tip: always assume the people you’re engaging with are smart until they prove you wrong, but also don’t believe everything you read because the internet.)

Turn off all notifications for your queer accounts. It only takes one glance at your screen to find something that could out you. Don’t let this simple slip-up hurt you if you think you might be at risk for snooping.

Lock your phone! If you have family and friends who don’t understand boundaries, this could save your tail. Make the passcode as weird as you want or whatever, just also maybe memorize it as number too if you ever need to tell someone you trust what the code is. (Sometimes you want to let your brother change the song while you’re driving, but can’t figure out how to tell him your passcode spells out the name of Lesbian Jesus--which is valid.)

Don’t let people use your phone without your permission and supervision. All it takes is a few seconds to open an app and find something incriminating.

If the app you’re using has a way for you to save posts without downloading them, do that! Bookmark, pin, send the post to your main as a DM, whatever you have to do, just don’t download them if you share a cloud with someone or have nosy friends. Screenshots are not safe from snoops (and they’ll be the first to tell you that).

That’s basically it. Do you have any suggestions of your own that might be helpful to other queer people looking to stay safe online? Share them below!

Stay safe and have a Happy Pride!

HAPPY PRIDE!!!!!

We’re officially launching tomorrow with some exciting bi-oriented content and will continue to post new content EVERY DAY THIS MONTH! Follow us to make sure you don’t miss a thing.

See you soon!