Women who are beyond done with all of this shit.
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YOU ARE THE REASON
The Bowery Presents

@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Discoholic 🪩

shark vs the universe

Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
h

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins

gracie abrams
Sade Olutola
Show & Tell
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
Keni

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@theturtlepackage
Women who are beyond done with all of this shit.
(via)

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so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise.Â
so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THATÂ
i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and.Â
HE GONE.Â
WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL.Â
*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance*Â
in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity.Â
You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.
My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.
my mom has a friend who has a failed program-service dog and he’s literally my favorite creature
He’s a really smart lab, he learned all the commands, but he just has an affinity for doing them whenever he wants
So this lady’s dog literally turns on-off lights, opens doors, opens the fridge, etc… at his own wishes.
Her house looks like its baby-proofed, with kid safe locks on everything and stuff, but really she just has a dog that’s learned all the mobility service dog commands but has a mind of his own.
Chaotic Good Boy
This is HILARIOUS
“It’s their job to do that. You don’t have to say thank you”
can we please have more aggressively polite memes in the world???
A classic.
DYING
Clickbaiting level: National Geographic
this added 5 years to my life
this watered my crops and helped them to evolve to produce a higher yieldÂ

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they was talking real shit back then and i took it as a joke
5yo: “Here are the things that I love: Momma, Daddy almost, Candy, and ICE CREAM!” Me: “Almost?” 5yo: “Almost.”
Oh.
Walnuts are a good thing to add to brownies if you want them to be both worse tasting AND much more likely to accidentally kill someone.

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mumslims
this is the 2016 apology post. reblog in 45 seconds and 2016 will apologize to you in the form of money.
this is another TRICK
50 notes and i’ll throw his backpack in the dumpster
reblog to honor this persons sacrificeÂ

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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why do windshield wipers only have 2 settings?? i need more than “one wipe every 86 years” or “metronome for a skrillex album”
i have a bunch of high school musical party supplies who wants to party with me
we’re all in this together
3 years later…