Lil' Bits Of Mittens

My previous reblog reminded me of this but i really love this dialogue from (presumably) big shot spamton. Its kind of why I dont personally get behind the idea that spamton was all that aloof when it cane to affection in his big shot era (mayhaps being a bit of a romantic, considering his fixation on kissing in. A lot of his stuff).

Since the Spamton Network videos were primarily made by the RTVS crew from my understanding, I don't know who's responsible for writing these little blurbs, and I don't think they're relevant to canon in any way -- but I think they're funny. And well, obviously, I like interpreting some of them as how he would've acted before his Puppetfication. AKA pretty similar just without the bracket ad text. (I like to think he talks in ALL CAPS all the time because he's YELLING TO MAKE HIMSELF TAKE UP MORE SPACE!!!) 

(The "earth will stop spinning" is definitely a reference to Y2K and the panic surrounding it . Kinda intriguing to think about what that would be like from a Cyber Darkner's POV.)

My phone doesn't let me upload images, but some other lines like that one that I think are Funny from the Network videos:

"CLOSED CAPTIONED FOR THE HEARING IN PAIRS"

^ he's got the spirit, I guess???

"SIGN UP AND FUCK OFF -- THAT'S OUR MOTTO" "EACH CALL COSTS 50$ -- State your case & FUCK OFF!" " NOW HIRING !!! SOMEONE TO UPDATE THIS FUCKING THING HOLY MOLY"

^ just edited the &$#+ to be the actual swears because typing the symbols annoyed me.

"IF YOU SEE THIS TEXT SOMETHINGS BROKEN WHERE IS THE PROMISE OF PERFECTION" "WHEN AN ERROR IS DETECTED I SEE THE INTENSITY OF MY FEARS SURGING THROUGH ME LIKE SUSPICIOUS WAVES."

^ .... Okay! Anyways!

I also could Never get behind the idea that fucking. SPAMTON. Was ever aloof and cool. The guy who was so desperate he turned to Supernatural Phone Assistance to get people to look at him? The guy who stuck his nose in a lighter? "That little freak?" HE was too cool for people? HE got annoyed at being given attention??? THIS guy????? 

I wouldn't call him a romantic but he does advertise how much he's...on the market (CANNED LAUGH TRACK.) Maybe it's apart of his own desperation for positive attention that he frames in strange ways + tries to monetize...? He'll settle for "anyone who gives him money." If he "gets kissed on the mouth trying to do business" then he "just has to take it." My personal headcanon is that he's probably like this because most people don't! Actually like him that much! As a person! And never really have! So a fixation on this act of affection might reflect his desperation for a resemblance of a positive relationship. He's just weird about it. 

One of the things I like most about spamton is how strongly he comes off due to his desperation. I can imagine it was to his detriment when it came to advertising - too in your face and a bit too honest at times, and it only got worse with his puppetification. I think that part of him is a bit lost with tsundere characterisations of him.

I mean he pretty much folds instantly once it gets confirmed to him that tenna still in fact cares about him. Nothing about him screams coolness or non chalance to me.

It's funny how he goes on about how Tenna ruined everything, how Tenna deserves to be in the garbage instead, how he's a criminal -- but the worst he can say to his face is call him trash, lol. The whole reason he jumped out of Kris' pocket is because Tenna seemingly still cared about him and not to like, beat him up or something. Classic actions of a guy who is Over It and very cool about being Over It.

I think Spamton was always weird, over-excited and “annoying” (it’s in his nature, after all), and that’s part of why he couldn’t make lasting connections, and drove most people (like the addisons) away — except for Tenna, who was just as lonely and bad at connecting with other darkners, but as passionate and over-enthusiastic as Spamton was, and who shared a similar sense of humor, similar desires and fears; they just clicked, even if they were never meant to. Spamton honestly kind of reads to me as neurodivergent and not able to mask very well, which just got even more apparent after his transformation. I think the main difference is that Spamton used to be a little less erratic, and was also able to be more eloquent, because he didn’t have the ad-speech; we saw this with his uncorrupted dialogue when he became Dealmaker in ch2.

And it’s very clear to me that Spamton was always desperate for real connection and affection— how could he not be, as a darkner who was literally made to want attention, but be unwanted and thrown away? (the exact same way that Tenna was meant to end up.) That’s why Spamton was so attached to Swatch, willing to open up to him, thinking of him as a “shoulder to cry on,” even though Swatch saw him more as a customer than a true friend; and even now, after the addisons ignored that Spamton was suffering for the last ten years, it’s implied Spamton ultimately still misses them, just as he still misses Swatch and Tenna. And Spamton clearly deeply loved (and still loves) Tenna, being willing to drop the act he had kept up for a decade of wanting to “kill your tv” as soon as he thought that Tenna still cared about and wanted him.

Yeah, well, we never knew what Susie's axe was made of until she told us it's her hairbrush.

Susie's the one who told us how to solve the last light puzzle in Queen's mansion.

Susie can tell which Dark World objects become which Darkners.

Susie figured out how to trick Gerson without our input.

Susie's the one who came up with a plan to seal the titan.

Could they enjoy ice cream together? :3

@maybe-a-gatto-or-a-catto (op’s) tags — Cat, every time I see another spamtenna post from you I wanna cry bc of how incredibly accurate it is & how well you’re able to sum things up

@mothymoon’s tags + link to analysis on Spamton being canonically transmasc bc they’re right

@3muske-tears & @crysentia’s tags

@scribz-ag24’s tags

@stellarnik’s tags