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@thetreadmill
when ilya is drunk he becomes the sappiest wettest person ever crying over how much he looooves his husband have you seen him and those freckles omg here comes more tears
when shane is drunk all bets are off he’s the horniest you’ve ever seen, dancing and stripping, hey ilya what if you tied me to a tree outside the cottage and had your way with me aall night hmmm
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i am convinced that ilya is into doing old people shit with shane, especially after they’re out.
there’s a tulip festival in ottawa that shane has never even heard of despite living there for a major part of his life, and ilya’s like “please let’s go to the tulip festival” and shane’s like ???????? why???? tulips?????? wtf?? but of course he goes and he Doesn’t Get It but ilya’s having fun, he’s full on turning his megawatt super smile on shane and taking a million photos of shane among the many colourful tulips and holding his hand and kissing his cheek and talking to random old ladies who tell them (well, mostly ilya because shane doesn't compute information about flowers) about tulips and stuff, and shane stands next to him and holds his hand while ilya animatedly talks and gestures with their hands linked and shane watches him, so enamoured, so besotted, because this isn’t about tulips, it’s just spending time together somewhere outside of hockey, where they're not shane hollander and ilya rozanov but just two guys among people, and shane is happy to continue standing next to his husband and nearly letting him smack Shane's own hand in his face from waving their joined hands around so much.
ilya: shane. why did your dad buy me 3 costco sized boxes of nerd’s gummy clusters?
shane: ??? what? you said you liked them the other day?
ilya: yes? but i don’t need 600 thousand of them?
shane: *shrugs* that’s just what dad’s do ilya???
then ilya starts tearing up and shane has to sit in his lap and caress his hair until he stops
My Shane has a big old crush on Scott Hunter through his teen years (even if he doesn't realise that's what it is until after he hooks up with Ilya), so he's absolutely stoked that he's going to be on a team with Scott Hunter for All Stars. It's a chance to pick his brain about his routine, be on the same side on the ice, maybe see him shirtless (by accident of course). It's going to be the best week of Shane's life.
And then he gets there and it absolutely super fucking doesn't work like that because he actually spends the entire time distracted by the annoying smoking-hot Russian on the European team who's face he kind of wants to punch and kiss at the same time.
let’s all remember that ilya professed his love to shane twice in a whispered rush and then in a hoarse tearful confession and then shane hit him with the holy shit and i love you too in his startled flat affect and then ilya’s entire face crumpled and he collapsed on top of him and shane held his head in both his big hands and kissed him on the forehead twice. let’s hold on to that ok
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I'm a firm believer that Cliff Marleau had to be told that Shane Hollander and Montreal Jane were the same person. I am of the belief that when the Fanmail video leaked, Cliff thought "oh, it must not have worked out with Montreal Jane but my boy bagged Shane fucking Hollander, so it's fine." He does think it's a little funny that both of the people Ilya's been seriously involved with are based in Montreal but he still doesn't put it together.
They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help
After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly
And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?
Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose
Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.
Hudson williams should get every role he wants because he’s funny and I like him
the drama continues!
Hollanov + tweets (part 2)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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personally i think shane is instigating sexting in any and all locations. i think he's in the cens locker room after practice texting ilya fuck baby you look so hot right now. need your cock so bad. he's at a shoot for some brand deal like can't stop thinking about your mouth and wanna ride your face tonight between takes. he's at the team dinner watching ilya wrapping his hands around a bottle and sending need your fingers. fuck. ilya of course loves this.
but if ilya so much as sends a looking sexy, hollander at the MLH awards shane is sending him death glares so intense and obvious that marly's asking uh oh, trouble in paradise rozy?
I'm all for Ilya picking up Shane in a sexual scenario. H o w e v e r, I do believe Shane is the one picking Ilya up in any other context. Ilya fell asleep while they were watching tv? Shane is carrying him to bed. Ilya refusing to go somewhere and stomping his foot and being stubborn? Shane throws him over his shoulder and carries him kicking and screaming. Ilya hurt his ankle while they were playing football at the cottage? Shane is carrying him inside and coddling his ass (he's fine but he's acting like he just got shot).
Which is why myshane is the one carrying myilyushka into the house after their wedding with the Pike kids.
Ilya making Tuna Melt for his really uncomfortable, heavily pregnant husband, because that´s what the baby wants.
A couple hours after Shane had it, his water breaks.
Ilya: *panicking* The baby is like you, tries my tuna melt and immediately wants out Shane.
I just think Ilya's birthday sex fantasy every year would be him making Shane come over and over again so he can end the night fucking a writhing and quivering, overstimulated Shane.
Shane has the same fantasy for his birthday.
the first time shane called ilya baby he meant it in the “you big baby” sense. ilya was pouting and shane was smiling at him fondly saying “baby” but so much adoration was bleeding through his words it felt like it was delivered as a pet name. and ilya looked up at him awestruck and lovesick and looked like he could faint right then and there. so shane made it his mission to call ilya his baby all day every day
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Shane “the people’s princess” Hollander has never touched his wallet in either Montreal or Ottawa in the same way that Ilya “spiritual Bostonian” Rozanov understands that he’s either going to be horrifically overcharged or undercharged depending on the day for shits and gigs even after moving to Ottawa where they refused to let him even look at a price for anything once the Hollanov news broke bc he’s now their princess-in-law
shane is soooooo strict
no motorcycle (i will be so mad if you crash and die)
no pilots license (i will be very mad if you fly into a mountain and die)
no smoking (i will never forgive you if you get lung cancer and die)
no fast cars (i will be so mad if you die in a high-speed crash)
go to the dermatologist (i will be so mad if you get skin cancer and die)
take your antidepressants (i love you so so so much)
ilya is rolling his eyes but he’s giddy af and everytime ilya gets a clean bill of health from the team doctor he shows shane, “happy?” “happiest”
