Things My Professors Say

Football players with sickle cell anemia cannot play in Denver and 25% of the population is going to die. I learned something today.

"If you get more than 100% yield then you just did alchemy. And we don't do alchemy here"

Furnaces are dangerous partially because of carbon monoxide poisoning and in part, because it can blow up.

The backbone of a substrate is like an enzymatic hug.

All Google image searches, no matter how innocent, will result in a picture of a naked woman by page two. That's why I don't do Google image searches in class anymore.

In Biology, we all know red and green make yellow.

If your electron micrograph has a picture of a donkey on it, crop it out. That has nothing to do with diabetes.

Premed people, I know you don't like math and don't do math...but drugs are almost all inhibitors, so there is your reason why you need to understand these numbers.

In Introductory Biology, just answer "increases surface area to volume ratio" and you'll be fine.

Enzyme + product reactions are like a cozy sweater that itches a little bit without an undershirt. It's almost a perfect fit, but not quite enough to keep you from driving down to the Goodwill and giving it away.

Biochemists love lines. Only the smart ones can do polynomials.

The Scanning Electron Microscope is the microscope equivalent to an iPhone except it is much easier to use.

A straight line is a very special kind of curve- a straight one.

This pen may cost you .79 cents at a Wal*Mart, but when buying from a specialized company for electron microscopy material, I got this pen at the low low price of $19.99. It's been certified "professional" now.

Unlike vampires, some molecules have mirror images.