Be Showered In Everlasting Light

        You frowned at the small droplets spattering across the ground, clouding the dark skies though spirits remained high. Despite the sudden rainfall, the children below were still giddy on sweets, their baskets full of tiny treats, Halloween night. You sighed, shutting the window and walking down the stairs. You rarely got dressed up like this, especially not for a holiday, but today was special you supposed. Though that did nothing to stem your current irritability, he was late, and now instead of going somewhere with him, you were watching children giggle about the streets. (Hoping you didn't see any of them at work tomorrow) You hum to yourself and grab your phone to shoot him a short text, interrupted only by the sharp knocking on your chamber, chamber, door. Huffing silently (Only one idiot would knock hard enough to break the hinges) you swung the door open, glaring softly at your grinning boyfriend.

"Y/N! Did you wait long? Miss me?"

"Your late Gojo."

        He feigned surprise, dramatically clutching at his cloak-covered chest as he knelt on the wet ground.

"Not the last name treatment!" He bellowed, hand shakily clutching the fabric of your skirt, "Say it isn't so!"

"If I knew you'd do this I would've told you to be Shakespeare..." You mumbled quietly, ushering him to his feet whilst he grinned.

"Ah, but I make such a good vampire Y/N, and Shakespeare could never do me justice." He carefully slinked his arm around your waist, pulling you near, "Or maybe you're just looking for tragedy."

You scoffed playfully and flicked his head (Earning you a childish pout) "I don't have to look for it Satoru, you are a tragedy."

        He chuckled, pecking your cheek and pulling you outside under the soft, sprinkling rain. You smiled softly, eyes trailing after the various laughing children, the costumes vibrant within the cloudy night. You remembered this, dressing up on Halloween, stuffing yourself silly with sugar, not noticing how your dear mother took all of your Milky Ways. You sighed quietly, a soft smile forcing itself upon your lips, you missed those times. Your reverie is shattered by the sudden, heavy hand flopping onto your head, ruffling your hair softly.

"Stop zoning out, I want your attention on me!"

You gave him a blank look before walking away, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "Why am I even dating you?" causing the gigantic male to pout.

"You love me."

"No, I love sweets, that's why we're here."

You hear him scoff behind you even as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you towards him, the rain droned on ahead. 

"Just enjoy yourself tonight."

The words are soft, lighter than the sprinkling tears above you. You looked up at the sky, when the sun returned would it bring a rainbow with it? You chuckle quietly, placing your own hands atop Satoru's warmer ones.

"Yeah."

Hello, Kyri here! I just wanted to give a quick notice that I’m going on hiatus for a while. Lately I just haven’t been feeling well, I’m happy for periods of time, but then something small reminds me that there’s nothing to be happy about, and life still sucks, I just start spiraling. I don’t have any motivation or ideas and when I try to start writing I just feel tired as though the effort isn’t even worth it. I don’t really know how long I’ll be gone, hopefully not more then a month or so but you know. Sorry especially to those of you who followed Magnetic Force, I’ll be putting it under hiatus until I feel a bit better. Aside from that though, I hope you guys are doing alright, I know everyone’s saying that the covid curve is flattening or whatever but please continue to wear your masks and social distance, get the vaccine and booster if you haven’t already! I’ll try and leave a note or something every once but bye for now, I’ll be back sooner or later.

Thanks you guys,

        There is an impenetrable darkness lurking within every corner of the mind, some have a darkness born others, some have a darkness born of themselves, in any case that shadow is always there in the back of your mind. A companion forever no matter what it is you truly what, forget about you need, it will always be waiting to swallow you whole. Always be waiting to become the only one you could see as a constant, all else was stagnant, a liquid lie waiting to drown you in your sleep.

       You were a first grade sorcerer, having nearly no offense capabilities but due to your technique that allowed you turn invisible and cut your cursed energy and residue you were an important stealth resource to the elders. Due to your technique and memories you’d rather erase you knew  that world you lived in was one smoke and steam, one of cover ups disguising disgust and hatred sold as stories of love. Yes, if any knew it was you, in the world a mouse was easily a rat once the screen lifted, a married couple both suffocating in waves of guilt of infidelity, a father and son drowning under the pressure of judgement and blame, bending until it all breaks. ‘Trust’ was a myth, an old folktale long lost, as easily gained as a unicorn is found, trust was…

       “Morning L/N!”’

       You drew your gaze from your papers to look at your white haired friend, he considered you as such so you should do the same you suppose, nodding at him simply before continuing to scrawl on the half-filled, post mission, reports. Gojo Satoru, the world’s strongest sorcerer as of now, was someone you respected and looked up definitely, someone you relied on and trusted in a work setting, but the term 'friend’, you used it loosely on him. It wasn’t as though you hated him, you quite liked his bubbly, loud nature, a clear counter to your own, but whether a decade or a century ago Gojo was and always would be the arrogant asshole he was in school, even if the man who matched his madness had turned traitor and died. Can people change? It was question many asked and the answer usually lied in whether they were a pessimist or an optimist, either wanting to believe their own, the world was to cloudy for such logic. He showed the light of new man but within his face were still the shadows of the younger him, you were not one to fall prey to a predator, not one lurking so obviously and blatantly with tantalizing lies of…

“I’ll ask you again then, go on a date with me L/N."

       You blinked back at him as you always did, not wasting a second to shoot down his request with flat "No.” Hand continuing to stroke ink into existence, the answer would always be the same, no matter how many times he smiled and told you he would ask again tomorrow. Today was different it seemed, today Gojo pulled out a chair and sat down next to you, today Gojo put his shoulder flushed against you, today Gojo’s breath tickled your ear as he spoke, ruffling butterflies you tried many times to kill in the past. Today Gojo…

“Can I at least know why? Don’t I deserve that much?”

       The feeling made you shiver as you looked him dead on, pink forcing its way onto your cheeks despite your refusal as your lips parted.

“I owe you nothing Gojo.”

       A beat, two, three, the room filled with silence as the sun rose higher in the sky, it was here you would die, suffocated by the man whose stare who drilling a hole in you, creating a chasm of endless depths.  Gojo backed away slightly, resting his chin on his hand whilst his other hand brushed a few hairs off your eyes, you swallowed thickly, petrified and unable to move as he spoke slow and deliberately. As he filled your mind with something that could’ve been intoxication and lies, could’ve been….

“You owe me nothing but I want to know. Be a little fair won’t you Y/N?”

       Yes, it had to more smoke and steam, you had to be choking on it as your breath caught in your throat, his voice speaking your name etched into your mind. You were not one to fall prey to predator but Gojo, it seemed you had forgotten for but a moment, Gojo was a god, a predator who preyed who other predators, made everyone his prey.  Made you his prey. Silence wrapped her arms around you and Gojo as you failed to speak, mouth burning dry, as you made a decision, as you swallowed the bile and stood up, never once breaking eye content with the carnivore before you. Never breaking spirit even as you trembled.

“Because I refuse to be yet another person tricked by the likes of you.”

       The steps of a deer, small and fragile but thinking its antlers made it strong, faded from the room and left Gojo alone.

—-

       It is within the deepest night when the moon is not to be seen and the sky has no stars that one could say there is not one shadow for the unseen to hide in. Their is only dark and depending on who you are darkness is ever so enlightening, is holy and precious and sacred, something to be cherished and trusted. Dark is your own personal dawn. It is within this cloudy night that you are, once again, walking aimlessly after a mission well done, mind hazed over with thought and comprehension and the roads blend together and your body travels though your soul stays still. It is a time in which you see no one, hear nothing, become something….

       The door of a 24/7 supermarket swishes open in front of you, flies buzzing incessantly around the dim light, a fan whirred erratically from somewhere above you as you browsed various forms of caffeine, in search of a substance capable of fighting off sleep for you. Something to buzz in your mind and provide liquid confidence only to find the source in which you needed it for.

“L/N? Late to be shopping, no?”

       You turned towards Gojo again, nearly looking away at the sight of him in casual, comfortable clothing, loose and revealing in nature.

“Late doesn’t exist for me, why are you up?”

“Curses don’t sleep, it’s annoying.”

       You watched as his nimble fingers picked up an energy drink, the other hand holding a basket filled with random sweets and bandages (Which was fairly odd considering his world altering technique) before he looked down at you from above the rim of his glasses, blue eyes shattering the last fragments of dark you held onto. His gaze had always forced your spine to straighten, made you swallow and shiver, as of now it also revived more the butterflies you had put into graves.

“I’ll get this for you, I don’t mind. Walk with me?”

“Fine.”

       The store shrunk and was suddenly only able to hold the too of you as you left, the world seeming to have turned into a tunneled as you walked side by side, shoulders knocking each other with every other step. You think it’s suffocating, the way he looks at you, something akin to blatant affection that you in now way trust flaring in them.

You also find suffocating to be an enjoyable fate.

“Earlier, what did you mean Y/N?”

       Gojo is a man who sparks curiosity in you as well, you wonder if he knows the rush you get from hearing your name drift from his lips, if he knows the tingles you get whenever his voice drops that low. It’s jarring and unbelievable, intriguing even as it pushes you away.

“I meant what I said, I know you don’t like me so drop it.”

       The words rang in the air, the silence louder than a gunshot, Gojo’s apprehension and surprise(?) apparent as he gawked at you, neck craned down to peer at you with the enchanting illusions he called 'eyes’ Seeming offended and yet with the way his shoulders sagged and how his eyebrows crease you could think him hurt.

“I do like you Y/N. Why would I lie?”

“Who ever said you changed?”

       Though as much as night is a friend, as much as it a foe, it is an audience, it forces the gentle hum of fans to grows, the mewls of lost cats to intensify, the ambience of life to create an incline of whatever it is feasting on. So as you and Gojo faced each other, looking the other predator, the other prey, in the eye, each wondering if light would grace them with an answer the night made you both sweat and worry and fear. You think if your face gets any hotter, if the chasm isn’t filled, the butterflies gone, and the crystal pointed somewhere else, you might drown in the distrust, might fall victim. Once again you find that the thought of drowning isn’t intimidating with Gojo standing next to you and the thought terrifies you, the cliff you now walk along is far steeper than you thought.

“I have, everything’s changed.”

“Why should I believe that?”

“Just give me a chance Y/N!”

       Trust is born of fragility you think, people made of stone do not trust unless a section is made of glass, people of glass trust to easily unless a part is made of stone. You want to be stone, you want to be pure, unshakable marble capable of crushing anything that dares to cross but faced with this you wonder if marble is hard enough, if titanium is. You also wonder, far more clearly, if marble can still be heavy with a basis of glass thinner than the trust you give.

“And if you hurt me? What then? It’ll be too late.”

A smile, you think you could fall then and there, descend into madness and not care at all so long as this image is burned into your mind. You don’t notice the way he presses his glasses into your hand until his eyes are bright and peering at you in full force, even as marble you would shatter at his slightest touch no matter how much you resisted.

“You’ll just have to trust me then won’t you?”

—-

This was longer than I intended, fuck. Anyway, wrote about half of this in the car because yk, ✨CAR CONTENT✨ I have two other things to post as well but there letters/poems so uh….sorry ;w; Blu, I hoped this lived up to what you were expecting and more! I hope the rest of you are doing well too, remember to stay safe and healthy ok?

       You still remember the first time you met Gojo after 10 years or so, the schools were having an event and Jujutsu Tech had traveled all the way to Kyoto to be there. He was as he had always been, loud and outspoken, confident to a fault and attention demanding and beautiful from the inside out….and still trying to date you. You also remember, albeit vaguely, that you hated him back then, hated the ease of his lifestyle, hated how he could afford to be a narcissist, how you were the exact opposite, Getou’s betrayal shattered that rose-tinted viewpoint. Now, as your students mingled and bullied each other amongst themselves, you found yourself fighting the blood that dared to rise to your cheeks as Gojo blatantly flirted with you.

“You know I almost forgot your name but I knew it was as beautiful as you.”

       You turned away, eyebrows furrowing as you externally cringed, your heart refuted the action as your bpm rose erratically. Another thing you hated about Gojo-Menace-Satoru was his….let’s say ’distaste’ for personal boundaries. He didn’t have those and didn’t seem to care if others had them, he couldn’t have with the way he had smooshed himself against your arm, breath just barely grazing your ear whilst he stared at your beyond the bandages covering his eyes.

       "I’d call a professional photographer but somethings wrong with my phone!“ Gojo exclaimed dramatically, earning himself a glare from Utahime, his face unbearably close now as you glared at him, still refusing to let up and allow the arrogant man to woo you but with his nose brushing your own you felt as though you could melt.

       "It doesn’t have your number in it cupcake.” He said softly before leaning back, smiling despite the obvious ‘dislike’ clouding your eyes as you stepped back, nearly tripping over air as you grumbled out a quiet “Leave me alone.” Before walking away, face a bright crimson as you stumbled into the hallway.

—

       You found yourself next to Gojo again the next day, having walked towards with purpose, flirting before he even got there.

“Hey Y/N! You’re hand is looking a little heavy, need me to hold it?”

       You turned away, shoving your hands in your pockets and ignoring him, choosing instead to watch your students battle in the forest. Yet another thing you absolutely hated about Gojo was that ignoring him was often times not an option, he wasn’t stupid by any means,  quite the opposite actually. (unfortunately)

“Ignoring me because you’re tired? I get it, you’ve been running in my head all day.”

       You swallowed thickly, blood once again turning traitor as your face warmed. Yes, you truly could not stand Gojo because he made you feel this way, made your heart beat rapidly and made your breathe shallow, made you feel like an idiotic teen again when you were anything but. You sighed softly, placing your chin in your hand as Gojo kept going, the corny lines embarrassing you and annoying Utahime further.

“You know on a scale of 1-10 you’re a definite 9 and I’m the 1 you need, but I hope you know CPR because you’re taking my breath away sweetheart!”

       You groaned at that, turning to look at your forced companion who grinned down at you. Gojo hummed lightly when you faced him, smile growing when you told him to shut up, as expected you were incapable of escaping Gojo’s antics.

“Don’t say that!” He exclaimed, slinging an arm around your shoulder to pull you flush against his side.

“Whether you want to admit it not I know you don’t mind.”

—-

I’m so sorry if this sucks balls ;-; I tried. In other news I have to leave again tomorrow so don’t expect too much from me, I’ll try and post when I get back but depending on the day I might die in my bed so- Also tropical storm Ida caused the Mississippi River to flow backwards, what the actual fuck-

       “It’s an art form.”

       A thought the two of you shared.

       You to the cake you were decorating, piping flowers of creamed sugar along the base, fitting edible jewels perfectly within the middle. And Gojo to you. The focused look on your face, your steady hands, the cute apron tied around your neck, and the small spot of white frosting glued to your wrist. You were the image of all of his desires as you worked. He watched you with a soft smile filled with affection reserved only for you as you slowly twisted the turntable, eyes searching for tiny mistakes you’d have to fix with your almighty piping bag and tip. You seemed to be satisfied though, your shoulders relaxing the slightest bit, and began piping the last flower, a single calla lily that bloomed from the front of the cake, soon to be powdered with sugary glitter. It was with a wistful and somewhat longing sigh that his fiancé set the groom and bride models down under the white arch that held a single bell. A bell that would ring tunes of lovely fate when there day came.

        “’M done.” You mumbled, carefully stepping away from the cake whilst wiping the sweat off of your brow. “They’ll be picking it up tomorrow love."

       Yes, Gojo’s precious wife ran a quint bakery a little ways away from the hustle and bustle of the city, baking and frosting cakes for every occasion though everyone came first for the wedding cake rumors you upheld. Gojo stood up and stretched, yawning wide like the alley cat you constantly compared him to, and crossed over to you, wrapping his spider arms around you to pull your body into a hug. He breathed in deep the scent of your hair, now tinged with vanilla and cinnamon and all things sweet. For now he threw his darling fiancé over his shoulder and laid back down with you on top of him.

"Then we can cuddle?” He questioned, having waited hours for you to finish your decorating spree. He grinned as you nodded and buried yourself within his chest, body warm to the touch. He chuckled quietly, wrapping his arms around you again and leaning his head back.

“Maybe I should make our wedding cake princess.”

“After the last time? No!”

—-

Short car content :D I changed the original ending because I didn’t like it but I feel like this one might be worse? ;-; But anyway, hi again guys!! It’s good to be posting again so hopefully I’ll finish the next piece soon…Bye for now, have a great day >w<

You hated it. You hated the looks of pity or those of mocking laughter and faux sympathy, you hated the ink etched into your skin. Everyone had the two names, James and Jennifer, Michael and Josh, always a pair, always different, but not you. No, when people began to share their tattoos with others they always gasped and laughed and jokes (As if it wasn’t about death too, people only paid thought to love) but when it was you they stared. They would stare and snicker and gossip, you went through high school like that, pained and follow by rumors and tales and for what? Why?

Simply because you only had one name on you written twice.

       Once on your shoulder written in pretty cursive, loopy and sweet and whimsical. Again on your neck, wrapped around like a charm, blocky and dripping and mysterious.

Satoru Gojo.

Gojo Satoru.

       What a life you lived, what a life. What a love you’d find, what a love, one that would end in your death but perhaps it would be accidental. Maybe they would accidentally step on your life support or poison your food or cough in your face leading to a fatal illness. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Also maybe but maybe not. Maybe you would do something stupid like cheat and be murdered in your sleep, maybe he’d go crazy, maybe you would try to kill him first only to be out matched and killed. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe so.  At some point you let it go, what would happen would happen, your fate was already written out, literally, and who knew, maybe your guy had plans to kill you from the start before you met, murder wasn’t always thoughtful. Sometimes it was just murder, plain and simple. It wasn’t until you saw your first curse that you were reminded of the ink, not because you thought you were in danger, no, no, no, you fully doubted the love of your life was this grotesque thing, but because the man who saved you also had that choker of ink. Block and dripping and mysterious, a style to match your own it sat perched on his neck, contrasting his pale skin.

Y/N L/N.

       To this day you wonder what went on his head, what do you say in such a circumstance? All you know is what went through yours and that was a newfound curiosity. Satoru Gojo, a man of 6 feet, of albino hair and seemingly magical strength, your killer and your lover.

“Tell me.” You spoke, calm as walked around him, heading back to the street.

“Are you a murderer?”

       Satoru blinked at your question, surprise lining his covered features, you couldn’t have met your lover already because he was your lover so why assume he was a murderer right off the bat? (Perhaps you had the same condition as him but how could you? No one could kill, especially not a non-shaman)

“No.” He stated plainly, standing beside you as cars whished by.. “But I am your lover.”

       You laugh startled him, he assumed you’d be confused by the statement but instead you swiped off your jacket, showing off the tattoo on your shoulder.

“Yeah,” You commented, grinning like the cat who grabbed the mouse. “I know.”

—-

       That had been so long ago, you can’t help but laugh at your younger self’s though because here you now are, in a situation you never expected to be in, agreeing to death itself. Yes, the higher ups had threatened to kill Yuuta and Yuuji both if you didn’t die and you love them as if they were your kin, as if you had birthed them so of course you agreed and your husband, oh your precious husband, he refused to live without you. So here the two of laid, poison on your tongues and you kissed for the last time, shared your last breathes and laughed at the world you lived in. You thank god for your children who will carry on your legacy ensure your deaths were not in vain but you worry, dear god you worry for upon their skin they carry names you’ve never heard of but also carry eachother names, also live in a world where they are forced to accept that they hold each others lives.        Fate was a cruel, curious, thing. Only fate could make poison taste so sweet, only fate could make a bond stronger while bending it at the same time, only fate could best the Gojo clan and only fate could make ink worth gold.

—-

Saw the prompt on pinterest and figured why not because I want to write but I don’t trust myself to write anything serious right now as my brain murdered itself a few hours ago :/ Anyways, I hope you are all doing amazing as always, please make sure to stay and healthy or I swear I will snatch your cereal.

He was home. He was okay. With you, and okay. The house was silent as you laid in your husbands arms trying you’re best not to cry in sheer…relief? Exhaustion? No, definitely an odd mixture of both…. “I’m sorry.” The words were quiet, softly fluttering around you before hitting your brain, you heart. “You’re completely exhausted because of me, you’re hurt.” You were silent for a moment, still taking in his existence beside you, the day had been hard, admittedly. You fought a special grade on a mission only to come back to hearing about Satoru’s capture in the Prison Realm, you didn’t question it though, simply fought like hell until he was back, with you. Always with you. “Don’t apologize for my physicality, I don’t even care anymore really. Apologize for scaring me so much.” You looked up at him, finally taking your face away from his warm jacket, shivering at the cold that swept through you despite the blanket on your sore body. You could feel the tears, still stubbornly unshed, stinging the backs of your eyes as you refused to cry, refused to be so weak. “You don’t know how scared I was Toru…” You hated how much your voice was wavering, how fragile it sounded. “Coming home to hearing about you, stuck in some cursed box.” You could feel yourself trembling, the weight of it all finally hitting you, tipping you over, making you curse your inevitable fragility. “You can’t leave me like that Satoru…” Salt drops finally dampening your cheeks. “I need you, I need you here Satoru, with me.” Arms pulling you closer stroking your hair as the thread that made your stability, your persona of being calm and collected, was pulled. “Just like you promised-” Thread? Pulled? No. No, no, no. Glass, thin, fragile glass, shattering. Hitting the floor and turning to shards, shards that then split in two, four, a thousand. You broke. “Satoru!” You were shaking now, crying into his shoulder as the object of your worries whispered apologies into your hair, holding you delicately. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been here for you.” No, like it was his fault. He didn’t ask to be forced into a box. “S-sorry, I shouldn’t be so weak r-right now.” You cursed yourself for stuttering, get a fucking grip idiot. Your better this. “….Y/N. It’s okay to cry. You’ve always held me when it was too much, let me hold you.” And you shattered all over again, spilling onto the floor. “Sa-Sator-” “I know” He shushed you, pulling you closer, holding you tighter. “It’s okay Y/N. Let it all out.” And you did. Shaking and sobbing in his grip, shivering under the blanket as your thoughts went out the window, filled instead with his warm affection, his lightning blue eyes, pure snow hair wiping your slate clean. ——————————————————————————————————————————————– You weren’t sure when you fell asleep, only that you woke up warm, mouth full of Satoru’s signature jacket as lay, pressed into his shoulder. A soft gentle kiss graced your forehead and suddenly there was no glass on the floor. The pane of glass fixed as though it never shattered in the first place. ‘That’s right…’ you thought to yourself. 'With him I’ll always be okay, even if I’m fragile glass…’ Your eyes fluttered shut again but just before sleep overtook you, you were once again filled with feeling of warmth, lightning, and snow. Satoru Gojo’s affection, his eyes, his hair. His soft 'I love you.’ fluttering in the air only to land on you, wrap around you, warmer than any blanket. ——————————————————————————————————————————————–

So I uh, hope that was good…? QwQ I tried. If you liked it please tell me and I’ll try to write again! Give me a prompt or something, even if it’s just a word or a title you want put to use! That being said, have a wonderful day!

       You had always believed that Satoru didn’t fluster the way you did. (He must not love you the way you did him) When you made him sweets from scratch, (Macarons were a bitch to make) when you complimented him, or wore the outfits he pointed out. Never once did his face tint a pink of hearts, a red of roses, true to their full bloom.

Satoru Gojo did not fluster. (Oh, but how lovely it is to be wrong)

—–

       In truth Satoru just flustered on the inside. When you handed him meringues made in your own kitchen, when you remarked on how good he looked in his button up shirt. When you wore the pretty skirt he himself picked out, oh how his heart would rise to his throat. How he would feel himself burning from the inside out, frothing and bubbling inside as flowers bloomed inside his stomach releasing butterflies every which way. Every action, every touch, every word, it all affected him so much, (It was overwhelming) to the point his hands would shake within the confines of his jacket but he already knew.

You didn’t love him the way he did you. (Oh, but how wonderfully lovely it is be oh so wrong)

———

Literally wrote this in the car when I was bored, I knew I would forget it if I didn’t right it down so I just wrote it in my notebook lol. It’s really short (I know, I say that like most my posts aren’t) but it’s because I’m really bad at writing beginnings, I seriously have a whole frigging manga planned out but know how to start it qwq. AnYwAys, I hope you guys enjoy this, have a wonderful day/night and stay healthy!! Request something or criticize me if you want, I want to get better at writing anyways.

Love is painful. So very painful. And that’s okay. —- “You like him??” Your poor friend looked so confused. “Is that so hard to believe?” You question. “You, uh….you don’t act like it.” You blinked. “Yes I do.” —- When someone loves you, you absorb the pain they give you. That pain gives you life, reminds you that you are alive. When someone loves you, you give love back, and so the pain continues. —- “I love you.” “What?” If only you could see his eyes. See what he’s feeling. “I love you.” A Laugh. “You sure about that?” You tried to give him your pain but he was untouchable, you couldn’t hurt him. He was confident too, mental pain wouldn’t work either. “I’ll try harder then, until you understand.” —- Mother loved me, she gave me her physical pain. Father loved me, he gave me his mental pain. B/N hated me though, he made me feel….fuzzy. —- “I love you F/N” “You don’t know what love is F/N” A breath, yours or hers? Both? “You don’t feel me enough then.” A sad smile. “I forgive you in advance, Y/N.” Too much pain and You’ll never see them again. —- “I feel bad for you Y/N” “Why, mother and father love me, that’s all I need B/N.” “….” —- “Why can’t you feel it?” “Feel what?” My pain, I love you yet you can’t feel it.” “What are you talking about?” “I love you.” —- I hate how happy B/N makes me. Why is hatred so warm? Why is love so cold? —- “Something is seriously wrong with you.” You tilted your head. “I’m fine.” A shaking head. “No, you’re not.” —- “Why does it feel good to be hated?” “Because hate is the opposite of love.” “Why does love feel so bad?” —- “I hope you don’t die with regrets Y/N.” “Why would I?” A sigh “You need to figure that out yourself.” “Why can’t you tell me?” A beat. “You’re far past the help of others.” —- “Because suffering is all humans deserve.” “Why is that” She turned to look at you. —- It hurts. It hurts. Why does it have to hurt so much? Your vision was blurring. Was it the rain? No, so salty. When was the last time you cried? —- She looked so mad. “Because your kind is worthless.” “Oh.” —- You saw it then. Your entire life. And to yourself you thought ‘Oh.’ ‘My brother loved me.’ ‘My mother hated me.’ ‘My father hated me.’ —- “One day you’ll feel love.” “I already feel love B/N.” “Real love Y/N, real love.” —- And then there was blue. Electric cutting into your soul. You spoke. Voice hoarse and filled with something new. “I love you.” “I believe you, somehow.” You choked, blood slowly filling your lungs. The tears were flowing freely now. Blinding you. Showing you everything. Why didn’t you see it sooner? —- “It hurts.” “Why does it hurt mother?” “Because love hurts.” —- “I’m sorry.” You couldn’t tell how loud you were speaking anymore. Maybe you weren’t making noise in the first place. “I love you.” But you had to say it. Even if you never felt it again. You had to say it. “I love you!” Then the world faded to black. —- Life is painful. So very painful. And that’s okay. —-