{{The Successful Bryan Ferry}}

when cocaine existed in it's purest form, i would take the trolly down to devonshire and eat all the snackie cakes off the trolly's trollie cart. the lady that would bring the snackie cakes had large hips and bosoms down to those hips...as a young lad, i would not give so many fucks about this, as all i really wanted were hips and bosoms that would hopefully combine into a mesmerizing array of flesh and jiggy parts in which i would be able to bury my handsome face into.....that lady had the best snackie cakes, too....

sitting on the train was quite nice. i enjoyed the smells of cigars and old man farts that would waft into my snow caked nostrils. when you are on cocaine, those smells do not bother you so much... i would sit, at the window, my eyes peering out as the trees flew by....i may or may not have seen a sensual encounter within the woods of two birds having intimate foreplays...but then again, it was quite a fast train....

after i ate quite a bit of crudités a bit later the rawness of the vegetables gave me quite some gas and i excused myself to the train-loo. i crapped in that toilet so much that it filled it...completely...just as much as the trolly cart lady filled my mind with filth and cakes....

as we breached through cornwall, i had a moment of thought: could it be that this place was named after a wall made of corn? corn is indigenous to the americas...but a wall made out of corn could possibly be such a thing that could melt my heart...think of all the popcorn it could produce on a nice hot day....my dick felt that it could create a most savory caramel sauce and then i could eat all the caramel popcorn...it would be so good....

i drank many shots of apple pucker while pondering this. i felt like a whore....but a whore so alive with wonder that i gave up thinking about it all together.

in devonshire-land, i got off the train and headed to the nearest pub. i met a man named stanley and we drank lager and he would laugh at my jokes that foam would spurt from his nose... i fingered his nose....then...feeling the tiny bubbles of frothy booze...inciting rich formulas of intense mathematical process problems in my head.

if i added 6,000,000,001 with 2, would that really matter? do you round up, or down?

is that how, as a man, i calculate the length of my manhood to ladies?

do ladies even care?

a lady with a large bottom needs a large largness, as to enter statistically creating a heightened sense of algebras.... a smaller bottom means a thigh gap and thus a smaller entry....

the man named stanley was also confused as to this. we parted ways, and i ended up passed out on sir anthony hopkins' gut....

.... i ended up buying a pack of Mistys. they are the type of cigarettes 35-65 year old women purchase if they are single and have a vaginal canal filled with pumpkins and all sorts of dust. ... also, i felt frilly at the time of my adventure.

no...i just bought them, as i was quite attracted to the...................

.......................................box.

misty pink and sea foam green, inside were twenty...elongated....white pillars of hope and despair.

it always makes me think that i am singing to ladies, quite in tune and upfront within their fine linen skirts and all those things that give my old man balls a super pumped up "Heyyyy what u up 2 2nite?

being the fine gentleman that i am, i strolled down 5th avenue in nyc...oh how cliche that the only sac i saw was my own? dangling and free bawlin' like tom petty's own.

raise your lady hands if you caught the joke... sacs....5th avenue.... wynonna ryder was not present.

i stopped into a russian hub bub and asked for some soupe. yes...ladies, soupe. the extra E makes the soup very fine. i ate turnips and onions and then i saw a man at my side eating the same soupe.

i asked, "do you like your soupe?

he said, "i like soupe...but i wish it had potatoes in it"

i asked why.

he replied, "because i am bono"

i looked and saw that it was, indeed,bono.

i then took out my pack of Mistys, and dipped it into my own soupe... went to the loo, and flushed the .....box...down the toilet.