Congrats on the followers!! Could you please do "Youāre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine."?
I certainly can! Here, have a college professor AU with oblivious, socially awkward Derek being wooed by Stiles with baked goods and bad puns!
Derek doesnāt know why the new professor annoys him so muchā theyāve never so much as had a conversation with each other, but somehow that doesnāt matter. Heās seen him around campus a few times now and even thatās enough for Derek to know that thereās something about him.
He never seems to shut up, for one thing. And it isnāt just talking, no. Itās the way he talks. This guy treats conversation like itās a whole body activity. Hands gesticulating wildly, shoulders shaking with laughter, shifting from foot to foot, that wide, mobile mouth open in amazement or stretching wide into a grin. Itās so unnecessary. Such a waste of energy. Derek gets exhausted watching him, but he canāt stop staring. Itās infuriating.
Two weeks into the semester heās standing in the quad with Isaac, a fellow Chem professor, and the person Derekās shared an office with for the last two years, when he spots the new guy coming towards them. He has a couple of binders tucked under one arm, a cup of coffee in the other, and heās talking animatedly to Lydia Martin, math genius and all round terrifying human being. The fact the guyās hands are full isnāt preventing his usual conversational flailing, and as Derek watches him he manages to slop coffee all down his own shirt.
āWho is that guy?ā Derek mumbles, shaking his head.
Isaac follows his gaze. āThe new Physics professor. Something Stilinski, donāt know his first name, but everyone calls him Stiles. He was some kind of child prodigy apparently. Super smart. A real innovator in his field. The dean loves him. He got Chris Argentās old office.ā
āArgentās office? With the view ofā butāhow is that fair? Iāve been here ten years and he just turns up and bags Argentās old officeā Derek sputters. He glares in Stilesā direction. The guy is standing under a tree a ways off, still chatting animatedly with Professor Martin, while she dabs at his ruined shirt with a tissue, a begrudging smile on her face. Something twists in Derekās gut. āHeās basically a fetus.ā
āHeās thirty, apparently,ā Isaac says, āHe just looks young. And I told you. The dean loves him. Says heās gonna bring in a lot of money with his exciting new research onāā He waves a hand airily. āSomething or other.ā
Well thatās just great. Thatās just fucking aces. Itās another thing to add to the growing list Derekās compiling of reasons he hates this guy. This Stiles. Stiles, Derek sneers to himself, thatās not even a name, and he walks in and takes the best office? And gets the dean to love him. And somehow makes Lydia Martin, a woman so innately terrifying that Derek has spent five years avoiding her at all costs, smile?
Ugh. Who the hell does this guy think he is? With his stupid hands. And that mouth. AndāAs Derek glares intently, Stiles looks up, catches his eye. He looks around in confusion and then, when he decides that no, Derek is actually looking at him, he flushes and tentatively lifts a hand and waves.
Derekās jaw clenches. He blinks twice. Then he turns back to Isaac whoās watching him, one eyebrow raised.
āWhat?ā Derek asks.
āNothing.ā Isaac smirks. Then says, āThirsty, huh?ā
āYeah,ā Derek mutters. āLetās go get a drink.ā
āThatās notā never mind.ā Isaac trails after him to their favorite campus coffee shop.
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