.

what if instead of writing a cover letter i just attached an mp3 of abba’s ‘take a chance on me’

A nice cup of anxietiea and depresso.

my kids: sing us a song to sleep me: ok me: yo, I never fucked Wayne, I never fucked Drake

when i first saw this i thought the kittens were the lawyers

they are

Whenever you find a random piece of glitter stuck to you out of the blue? You’ve been visited by Carrie Fisher and she spared you from some bullshit.

Hi brain, you obstinate fucker. I drank the clear splashy stuff. I ate the green things. I went under that bright fucker up there. I did the thing with the moving and sweating and whatnot. Now make the happy chemical, you lump of fuck.

birds out here making some weird ass sounds

-Charles Darwin on his expedition to Galapagos

“there’s a lot to unpack here” is the academic equivalent of “yikes”