....

One of my neighbors had a REALLY FAT golden retriever she adopted, that needed to be put on a diet, but even super-low-cal food wasn’t working, becuase Ella was still hungry and would open the cabinet to eat the whole bag.  Vet suggested that she needed a filler Food so she could feel full without the extra calories, and suggested canned green beans, which are mostly fiber and lean protein.

Ella fucking LOVES green beans.  She does a dance for them if you mention them.  Her ‘sibling’ the police academy washout shepherd, thinks she’s insane.

Even if your pet doesn’t like green beans*, offering them a canned green bean is inevitably HILARIOUS becuase they’ll either be thrilled or otherwise make strange faces.  Results so far:

Ella (golden retriever): Overjoyed.  gets up on her hind legs to dance without prompting.

Sampson (Black shepherd): Offended, yells until you give him REAL treats.

Cody (Gentleman shepherd): is concerned, becuase this is Obviously Not Food.  Gently takes it to be polite, leaves it out in the yard.

Minx (Domestic Shorthair cat): Smelly Toy Is Hilarious, batted under the couch.

Tiger (Really Fat Domestic Shorthair cat):  Total disgust, hissing and sulking in the Prosciutto box.  Came out and ate it later anyway.

Wanda (corn snake) we didn’t expect her to be interested but she spent like three minutes licking it.

Sadie AKA Marquis De Sade (Hyacinth Macaw)  ignored bean in favor of dumping can on the floor, sticking head in can and screaming.  Did not attempt to bite, which is Very Nice for her.

Arwen (Australian Kelpie): ate bean, waited until humans were out of the room to consume rest of the can, got costco-sized can stuck on face and pooped green for three days.  Regets nothing.

Empanada/Anderson Cooper/#3 (Plymouth Hens): Excited screaming, kickboxing tournament over possession of beans/can.  #3 was ultimately victorious, becuase She is Fattest.

Big Angus (scottish highland cow, I know, ironic): very polite and delicate acceptance of beans for appx 1700 lbs of beef, will now run full-tilt across pasture to meet me, which scared the crap out of me tbh.

Will post further updates as I am allowed to try.  

$1.32

That’s the cost of my Vegan lunch.