The Silver Hammer

work is stupid. when am i going to get a letter in the mail from a mysterious relative i never met before and inherit a rustic castle somewhere in europe?

This is white privilege

The castle can be in Mexico...

You can control white people by giving them cheese

cheese is so good tho

I got one

Shoe shi

It’s HOMOsapiens, not HETEROsapiens. It’s the Bi-ble, not the Straight-ble.

straight people are in the notes arguing with this

It’s not “queer to hell”. Is “straight to hell”.

tits out surrounded by big cats is how I wanna live my life

reblog if you wanna live tits out and surrounded by big cats

This is my favorite SNL sketch, and it is always so hard to find because it was cut out of the reruns for whatever reason. But it’s so funny. I will never not think this sketch is funny. 

this is so fucking funny also ive been singing ‘aint nothin cuter than a bad country baby eatin peaches off a hardwood floor’ since last night

I’m Dana Jean Harley

My mom has an Echo and every time I walk into my moms house I say “Hey Alexis! Play a high pitch sound!” And it goes “Ok. Playing High Pitch Sound 7” and lets out this screech for 2 minutes and my entire family hates it

Me introducing myself

I actually might’ve just fallen in love with her nsidjdj

I want complete backstory for every single alias she gave

animals sit in the woods and scream “I WANT TO FUCK!!!!!!” and thats just the culture