@theshwritings

//your eyes on her

11. Nightfall

// the time when I talk to the moon about you

111. Nifty

Maybe a paradise we'll find

in between those bursting flames

I'll write your name

and then decide

Do I wanna love you

or

Push you to die ?

Bottomless ocean

Because it couldn't

Take it anymore

It gave up

And

Hit the ground

But

My body was on the shore

Hoping that it would

Return.

As I lost myself

For the second time tonight

Tear stains on my pillowcase

Nothing feels right

Why do we have to know who we are?

Does our identities change our shadows?

Does it make it pain any less?

Will it find the missing pieces?

Or will the remainder be surpressed?

Loved me like the wandering clouds

So pure and white

Brought me gifts when you wanted to make things alright

Kissed me in your favourite diner

Hugged me in your sleep

Made me pancakes in the morning

Life was good until you wanted more

Touched me in forbidden places

You made me scream

I am scared and trapped in your melody

Ringing in my ear is my breathing

I couldn't give you what you wanted because I wasn't ready

But you thought it was better to love someone else than to be patient with my body

I found out and you said you were sorry

How can I not forgive the man who loved me?

So I gave in, I was ready.

It was my fault anyway, I am a prude

Man has his needs, that's the truthful lie they always use

I kept my quite, the clouds never thundered, rain never poured

It stayed inside, a burden packed and stored

Love is complicated, fear is relative

Aren't we all scared of loving alone?

So I found what I loved

And found what loved me

I found what I loved and I let it kill me.

She turned to stone

Veins filled with gold

An unknown treasure

Lost like the holy grail

Her soul has no measure.

It's has stripped me naked of my defenses

Come into my home and broken my tooth

Left me bleeding and terrified

Instead of being my escape

It become the harsh truth

I cried and I cried

But the lessons it provide

Made the person standing before you.

I DON'T HAVE THE FEAR OF LOSING YOU ANYMORE

I AM FALLING OUT

AND IT DOESN'T HURT

HANDS THAT KEPT ME SAFE

ARE THE ONES THAT KEPT ME AWAY LIPS THAT CAPTURED MY SOUL

ARE THE ONES THAT TELL ME TO SAY NO MORE

ARMS THAT FELT SECURE

ARE THE ONES THAT BECAME THE TOXIC SHORE

AND I,

I BECOME THE CLAM WAVES

NOT RUSHING TO BECOME THE SLAVE BUT IN THOSE FINAL MOMENTS

I CAVED.