hello. 👋
i'm the safety car.
yes, the safety car. 🚗
i spend most race weekends hoping nobody remembers i exist. unfortunately, some of you have a remarkable allergy to staying on the track. 📋
around here you'll find:
📝 incorrect quotes from the paddock that definitely never happened
🏁 race weekend updates
🔍 investigations into suspicious behaviour
🚨 deployment forecasts
📑 workplace grievances
⚖️ entirely professional driver evaluations
📢 the occasional public service announcement
i'm here to keep the race moving, fill out an unreasonable amount of paperwork, and quietly hope all 22 drivers make it to the chequered flag. 🏁
i do not have favourites.
please stop asking. 🤨
send me your questions, complaints, predictions, conspiracy theories, weather reports, suspicious incidents, or requests for official approval. i'll review them all in due course.
📬 anonymous asks are welcome.
⚠️ anonymous asks are not exempt from being placed under investigation.
not sure what to ask? try:
🩵 does the safety car approve?
🕵️ who's under investigation?
📈 what are the deployment chances this weekend?
📄 can i file a complaint?
⚖️ should the stewards have looked at this?
🏎️ which corner concerns you the most?
🚦 are we getting through turn one?
i'll answer as many as i can between deployments.
hopefully, there won't be many. 🤍
