there.s.a.

(This was originally written in my 'journal' on August 27, 2020, after writing...

"Should I start writing my thoughts again? I guess I should..."

... last July 10, 2020.)

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"The greatest revenge is when you continue thriving even if people continue trying to destroy you."

Learned last week that my former boss is quitting his work here, his work for years, and it was confirmed this week.

I know it all started last year... Hope I am wrong, but if it really is, I pray that it didn't destroy his passion. I know he is intimidating at times, but I think it is all driven by his passion which other think as because of his position.

Boss, I know it is hard to start again, but continue on. Prove them that they can't "destroy" you. Maybe your work here is done already... 😔

Thank you for the cup of coffee last EdCon and for asking if I am OK when I posted 'sad' stuff in my timeline without realizing it. Know, Sir, that I learned a lot from you.

Yes, there are times that we don't see things eye-to-eye, but those times make me humble (added today: and stronger).

When people think that they know how to live our lives better than ourselves...

A former schoolmate (not even a friend), all of a sudden, sent me a message through FB. We chatted for a while, then all of a sudden asked me if I already have a family which of course I answered, "NONE."

Below is our convo after , but others were deleted...

S: Nya iaanap ko sa foreigner😂😂😂😂✌️✌️✌️

A: Haha, iba a misyon ko. 😄

S: Inayko mg-madre kyod

A: Nag-eenjoy ako sa work. Ok man a mag-iyan sa ibang bansa pero travel lang talaga.

S: Reminder gurang na kta (Remember we are old already)

I was about to reply her with, "SO?! "

I don't understand why people have to set a standard na dapat if you are this "OLD" you are supposed to be married already. There are even times they would ask you after asking if you are already married na, "Pero may boyfriend?" When you answer na "wala," they seem to pity you. At times, may kasunod pa, "May nanliligaw?" Again, when you answer na "wala" may itatanong pa yan, "Pero may nanligaw naman dati?" na parang kawawang-kawawa ka.

My goodness!

Hindi ba pwedeng, "I decided to be single than settle for less, for pwede na, even if nagkakaedad na ako"?

Hindi ba pwedeng, "I have other priorities for now than settle down"?

Hindi ba pwedeng, "Wala pa talaga ang kalooban ni Lord kaya single pa rin ako"?

Pwede ba?!

Minsan pa, people are too insensitive. Kahit medyo naiirita ka na, 'di pa rin nila magets. But to tell you, hindi kami naiirita dahil single kami. Ang nakakairita ay 'yung kahit anong sabihin o paliwanag naming mga single pa rin kahit nasa 30s na, you are still sticking to your belief na DAPAT MAY ASAWA NA KAMI.

Try to think of it, folks, our life is different from yours. Whatever the consequences of our choices (not to marry 'early or not to marry at all), it is us who will reap, NOT YOU. Please respect our decisions. We would appreciate your suggestion for us to marry, when to marry or whom to marry, pero hanggang dun lang ang role niyo. When it comes to our marriage, we will always have the final say.

On the other side, I believe if the friendship is genuine, no one can destroy it.

Is it too hard to own our mistakes?

Still so many things to do, but I don't have the drive to start anything yet.

"It's not your job to be everything to everyone, Self."

Doing a lot of thinking lately...

This ECQ is making me insane and giving me a lot of time to evaluate the choices I made in the past.

While I am proud of all things I accomplished (by God's grace alone), I am also ashamed of some things I did. One of which is those exchange of messages.

I should have known better. I should have acted differently, but I didn't. Now I didn't know how to handle it. Things got out of hand.

Praying that things will go back to normal once this ECQ ends.

Praying for things to be in place again once work resumes.

It is complicated, but I know this, too, shall pass.