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It's even harder working in a nursing home.. working and going in the same room she passed away..

Talking to people who are hanging out with their grandma. .or talking to her.

.... and forever when I talk about you, I mention aunt. Just like you liked:)

And I carry that with me.. and push those nephews of mine to call me auntie or aunt.

Miss you every day, but I know your up there keeping grandma company. Watch over my mom and grandpa please.

Did I move from my bed at all this weekend? NO

Did I clean my house? NOPE

Do I feel bad about it? NOPE

WHY? BECAUSE MENTAL HEALTH is a big issue, and nobody seems to think it is.

I used to know the times semi-trucks would go through the stop lights near my house. Did I wake up early just to go. and maybe just be done with everything for good. Yep. but I never actually went through with it. Why bring this up now? Because on Friday I told the kids dad, I would be dropping them off and leaving. Probably not to return. I couldn't stand feeling like a failure; I couldn't stand everyone gaining up on me making my life miserable. I couldn't stand being another day without my grandma. I just want to be able to talk to her. but I know, she would want me alive. She would want me to be here for these kids, my mom, my grandpa. They all need me. And taking the coward way out was not what needed to be done. Not that day. Not any day. That's why I came here to try and get some stuff out. without going to therapy, and without doing things that could be bad.

There were comments made around my good friend at work this weekend. She didn't react to them. And didn't share any information about me. But what these people fail to realize is I'm battling a battle that nobody knows about. I struggle with even continuing to live. I'm pretty sure the only thing that keeps me alive right now is my kids. if I didn't have them, I wouldn't be here. These comments came from someone whose daughter I have helped calm down after her Mental breakdown. Who I have helped so much. So why is it ok for her daughter to have a mental breakdown. But the moment something is "wrong" with me it's a crime.

but you know what. It doesn't matter. I'm here another day. I made it through. I fought those demons until the next day.

Had a shitty day at work, thought id start doing this maybe help me with my depression if I can express how I feel without talking to people. Kinda like type it out. maybe forget it? we'll see, I guess.

I'm a 37-year-old mom of 2. Got a boy and a girl. Got me a dog, and a cat. I managed to have 4 nephews and 2 nieces. So I'm a busy one. Occupied a lot!

I recently lost my grandma. She fell one day at home. I rushed over there and saw her on the ground. Found out a few hours later that she suffered from a stroke and her brain was surrounded by blood. She held strong for 5 days.. 5 days we spent with her all day and night! she was transported to the nursing home where I work, and later passed away. Its hard going through my days when she isn't here. She was the one I called everyday after work, Or if something good happened. Now, I have nobody.

I work in a long-term care facility as a dietary manager. Struggling with everyday life. Trying to make all these residents happy isn't the easiest job. They all have different needs, but the family member's really are the ones that get a person. They would much rather point out all the bad in a persons job/cooking that they fail to remember we are humans and make mistakes, and we are get this NOT perfect. But we try and try and try for them. I feel like they just constantly just put me down. Even tho, i'm trying so hard.

I have no friends. I got 2 decent people who are my go to people. We talk, we got each others backs. but the "friends I thought I had growing up, are gone. The ones we planned having kids grow up together, the ones we planned on having meals with our families, yea they are gone. Deep down it hurts, it hurts how it even happened. That's another day tho.

Hmm what else? oh I also diamond art! Anyone do that. Share your pictures let me see them. I'll post my first one :}