Beau Barber Babe

“I wouldn’t say so, no. But it does bring in customers.”

“I don’t like to see anyone leaving dissatisfied–tell me what it is you’re looking for. Perhaps I can help you, so you don’t have to go out of you way. Sparing any inconvenience.”

“This week I’m anticipating the yearly influx of desperate teens coming to me for love potions. Not that I’m complaining about what’s good for business.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

Chairface sulked over next to Hayden, taking refuge beneath the umbrella’s cover.

“Where in heaven’s name did you get such a gargantuan umbrella?”

“Me? Patronizing? Never.” They smile before kicking a pebble into a forming puddle.

“You’re laughing. It’s raining all over my beautifully varnished head and you’re laughing.”

“Awww- are you upset because of a wittle wain?” Hayden asked with a large smile on their face. “Well then get over here because I also can not be in the rain for health reasons.”

“More like you’re on me, and I wish you weren’t–”

“I got places to be, bud, c’mon.”

“Well then maybe don’t steal people’s seats. You never know how absolutely shameless they are.” They huff.

“Are you trying to piss me off? Becuase you’re doing a great job–”

Mobius, aware of how stupid this whole thing made him look to anybody passing by, made to pry the clinging Hayden from his frame. Dark brows fastened into a scowl. 

“You think this is cute or something?”

“Well that’s a specialty buuut but but but- no. Not the plan.” They said, not allowing themself to be pried out easily.

Now red in the face, Mobius snarled at the other.

“What the hell is wrong with you? It ain’t funny. Off–”

He stood straight up instead of making an attempt to swat them off.

Hayden was prepared this time, as when the man stood up Hayden was clinging to him like a huffy koala.

Mobius blinked in a moment of astounded cognitive delay. 

“Get off me!” He growled and shoved them. 

Hayden let out another squawk, very easily getting pushed off.

“This your seat?”

“Too bad.”

“Heheh, they sure do. You’re uh, making sure nobody’s in the way doing stuff like that, right?”

“Eh, it’s not exactly an explosive, but the thing’s got a mean charge to it,” he replied.

“But hey, don’t get me wrong–I like blowing things up every now and then.”

“I’ll let you in on a little something–I’m a solution-oriented kind of guy.”

“If I see some space abomination trying to eat me, I throw an ionized spear at it.”

“Oh, I see… that shouldn’t be too hard.”  Who knew Jacklynn was so particular about the shape of each box?  Then again, it wasn’t any less odd than the other quirks Gotham criminals had—Two-Face and his gang came to mind.  “And you won’t have to worry about my mind, Vale,” Kelsie added seriously, folding her arms behind her back and bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet.  “It’s an open and flexible one, I promise you.  And plenty creative, too, which judging by the state of things means I should fit right in here.”

And as if to prove her point, Vale went into his dance, leaping and bounding and twirling across the space before coming to a grand finale with his foot on the doorknob.  She grinned widely and clapped her hands in delight before going through the door.  “Oh, I think we’re gonna be just fine.”  This was going to be fun.

“Oh I don’t worry about that. No no. None of that. But boxes? They’re a whole different beast on their own. Boxes and trucks. It’s all a big 3d tetris game. That and some of these boxes? Absolutely ridiculous. Have you ever seen a dodecahedron shaped box? You will today. Buckle up and get your flats on Tabby- lets get this show on the road!“

Hayden, at this point, had shoved their face fully of candy. So being the polite hellion they are simply waved to the two of them instead of talking with their mouth full.

[txt Kelsie] Perks of being a famous mobster, I guess.  Wish I made that kind of money every night. XD

[txt Kelsie] Oh, shit… you don’t think it’s an explosive, do you?  Or something like that?

[txt Kelsie] Why would Jacklynn want to blow something up tho?

[txt Hayden] Bruh I think being a mobster is the only job that can fund his lifestyle

[txt Hayden] I saw him order fancy champagne and then pour it out bc he just wanted the bottle for his room.

[txt Hayden] Iiiii don’t think it’s a bomb. It looks too complicated to be a bomb- lemme ask

[txt Hayden] No it’s a bomb. But it’s a glitter bomb. They’re going to send it to a rival gang bc they’re stepping on Jacklynn’s toes territory wise. They’er going to hook them up across the border