Yeah, we can tell you're hammered

Now, Darcy, as thoughtful as that was– who said I ever needed a cake to do that?

Oh my god, seriously, can I watch? That’s, like, all of my wet dreams coming true.

The longer I stare the less adequate I feel.

Dude, no, your ass is the perfect round shape I aim for. 

Should I be concerned about imagining me naked next?

I think my line of duty is going to have to stop you there. If that guy takes his shirt off the health and wellbeing of every women and probably men is at risk.

You’re next on my list, hot stuff. I can’t leave out the ladies.

I don’t know what to say. I think you’ve actually made me speechless.

That’s the reaction I get from most people. Oh! My erotica doesn’t just stop at Tony. I have one for every Avenger, a majority including Thor.

This seems like a synopsis of one of those cheesy erotica novels.

You mean the cheesy erotica novel I’m writing right now? I already have one written for the happy couple and it is tingling my downtown.

I’m suddenly feeling way underdressed– I didn’t know this was a mega black-tie affair.

I must say, sir, you’re doing the ladies a fan service in those jeans.

The pity invite is kind of insulting but I also don’t know what we’re supposed to be celebrating so I call it even – slightly.

Engagement of America’s really hot patriotic boy toy and Stark Master. Don’t worry, I was probably a pity invite too.

I wasn’t looking – oh my god that’s… that’s an ass.

Oh my god, it’s not just an ass, it’s the ass to end all asses.

Darcy– a harassment case on my engagement party is not a gift.

It’s not harassment when I speak observation. Uh, and in case you were wondering, I got you the best gift ever. It’s a cake in the shape of America’s ass.

“I’m gonna let it slide that you just grabbed off my plate, but anytime you’re hungry for waffle o’clock– I’ll make you some,” Scott said with a grin as he forked another bite of the waffle into his mouth, “deal?”

“Oh, sorry, was I being totally rude?” Darcy picked up her knife and cut the waffle in uneven pieces before taking a bite. “Okay, deal, but I should warn you, Mister Tiny Man, I’m very picky with how my waffles are made. They have to be perfect.”

It is… ah– something, Darcy.

I believe the correct answer is ‘thank you so much, Darcy, you are a chef extraordinaire and I don’t know what I’d do without you’.

At least I didn’t blow up the lab again.

Waffles are good any time of day.

“Oh my god, neato, I want some.” Darcy dragged a chair to the table and didn’t bother asking permission as she nicked the waffle on top of Scott’s stack. “I’m starved.”

Ugh– too much voltage.

Dude.

Sure, yes– it is great. See, I am eating it.

I did good, huh? Mish mashing broth and a whole box of your favorite poptarts was pure genius.