Puckerman.

I don’t want to go out and get laid. I mean I don’t know, I’m inbetween wanting something more and not wanting anything. …We’re watching the movies again but I’m limiting your food intake and for every time you’re not paying attention, I’m forcing a vomit flavoured bean in your mouth. Expect receiving the same one back over and over again. What? No. I do not ever, never, ever, ever want to bang a Puckerman ever again. Puckerman filter forever enabled. And also, New Leaf jock filter forever enabled. All the filters. I win. ALWAYS BACON. NEVER! SAY ALWAYS BACON AND I MIGHT.

That is way too confusing for me to understand. ...That sounds like a terrible idea to me. Eating food is the best part of watching movies, especially when it's like a billion movies in a row. I need food and not vomit flavored food. That's only because you ran out of Puckerman. If only there were triplets or more. Your filter is going to end with you never getting laid. It is a flawed system. I WILL NEVER SAY THAT EVER.

I can't decide if I really want to be Princess Leia or not.

Ha, I think shutting my brain off is what got me in this position. Yeah, well, you got lucky. … I’m gonna punch you. How could you only remember the food? I should have given you all the vomit, earwax, and dirt flavoured jelly beans. It is not! Nope. No medal for you. The best you’d get is a napkin that says: You didn’t burst into flames today. Congrats. Nope, I had it even before you started dating Quinn. And I’m happy to have it. Filter forever enabled. ALWAYS BACON. I will cook everything in bacon grease. Even waffles.

You could get lucky too if you went out and got laid. That's pretty much what it means exactly after all. ...Because the food was the best part. I don't even want to know why they'd have those things. I'll take that napkin. I expect you to give me one daily. Well yeah, but then it was the I want to bang his brother filter. It works the same way. NEVER BACON. TAKE IT BACK. YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR.

It’s a lot stronger than I could handle that’s for sure. It’s complicated and confusing. I don’t even know what I could anymore. You don’t speak dork but you could surely watch it — Harry Potter marathon, remember? And yes that’s what Quinn has. That is not what stubborn means! And you sort of do deserve a medal but that doesn’t mean I’ll be giving you one. Yes way. No, no, no, your “looks” are not the best part of you. ALWAYS BACON. I’m putting bacon in your food now.

Only if you think too hard. Shut your brain off and live a little instead. It's what I do and my life is working out just fine. Were those the movies that were one when I was eating all the good snacks? Because the food I remember. It is too! And give me a medal. I'll wear it daily. They are too. Everyone sees it but you 'cause you've got the sister's boyfriend filter in place. Trust me, I'm easy on the eyes. NEVER BACON. Don't touch anything with your bacony fingers.

I think my game is a lot stronger now but it’s complicated. I don’t know. I think she has Hermione’s Time Turner. Fabrays are not stubborn. We’re just not easily swayed. I honestly don’t know how you live with the both of us though. Nope. Your ideas are the best part of you. ALWAYS BACON. Wait — is this an apartment or loft? I keep getting confused. But no, I will never be kosher, bacon tastes too good.

Stronger than what? I say it's still at a solid zero right now. You know I don't speak dork, but if that allows her to be in a lot of places at once or to pause time, then yes. That's what she's got. I am pretty sure that is exactly what stubborn means. I saw it in on google right next to your picture, and I also deserve a medal for it. No way. My arms are the best part of me or maybe my chiseled jaw line. NEVER BACON. Call it what you want, but no pigs eaten here.

Ahaha, I don’t think so. Right. Plus she’s a girlfriend, a sister, and a mother to those two you got running around. I think she deserves a break. You know, I would miss your ideas.. it’s the ‘you’ part, I probably wouldn’t. ALWAYS BACON.

Why not? You lose your game? I don't know where she gets the time for it all. I try to tell her to kick back and relax, but you know how stubborn you Fabrays are. You're both impossible. But I'm the best part about my ideas. They just wouldn't be the same if they were from someone else. Never bacon. I'm ruling this apartment a kosher zone.

It’s gonna be good. I think I’ll wear that for the Frat parties and something else for later. Quinn’s cray. A job, sorority, school, and cheerleading? Nope. We should totally do that. I could even invite some friends from work to scare the hell out of all of you. I like the way you think. They should also bring bacon.

Fabgay is gonna get her some. Right?! That's what I keep telling her. I don't know how she does it all. She's nuts. See more of my good ideas just showing up and saving the day. Another one of the many reasons why you'd miss me if I was gone. Also, no bacon.

I should but I don’t know how I’ll feel like wearing a ski mask. I’ll have to test that out. I’ll be carrying a rifle or shot gun if I choose this costume so I’ll be safe. I’m definitely hitting Greek Row at my school. I don’t know about you and Quinn though. But we should have our own party too— maybe.

Your costume is sounding weirder and weirder as we go, and also scary in it's own way. Yeah, I gotta ask her what her whole sorority thing is doing. She probably told me already, but I got nothing, so let's hope it wasn't important. We should do that. Maybe it a bring your own beer and candy and then we'll be left with all the leftovers after it.

Yeah, I should do it. I mean I’m always covered up and last year I died in that cat latex suit so my skin still needs to breathe from that. But I don’t know, I could end up being Tweety for all I know. I will admit to being scared of girls running around looking like Miley. 

Do it. Let yourself breathe and enjoy the night air. Have a costume with a weapon to fend off all the Mileys of the world. Speaking of costumes, we all hitting up a party or something on Halloween?

Your logic always baffles me. But yeah, I get it. I was contemplating on being a Springbreaker from that one movie Springbreakers that all the Disney Channel chicks are like naked in but I don’t know. I just know that there are girls who are gonna be Miley and I’m scared. I totally know who you should be for Halloween!

Any costume that involves the words naked chicks is always a good way to go. Who knew there were things Charlie Fabgay would admit to being scared of.