Thinking out loud

It's not that I regret meeting you

I don't regret our conversations at 3 am

Or the way I smiled at my phone

Imagining our future together

I don't regret the way I longed for your touch

Or the poems I wrote about you

I don't even regret giving you my heart so quickly

But I will regret the way I gave them hope

It's been like this for several months

The world is blooming all around

And I'm still waiting to be found

The hope of it all is all that's left

I feel it deep inside my chest

So I look after my heart and soul

You tried to be a hero of some kind

Flashing eyes and long nights

Cold sweat and even colder lies

Grief doesn't die like loved ones do

It stays longer with us

I wish I could say I've moved on

that I’ve let go of the past,

but every corner of this town screams your name

I hear your voice with every morning breeze

I see your shadow running through the trees

A part of me will never come home

It will always be with you

I wish I could say that you are free now

But I'm an unreliable narrator

the line thin between reality and illusion

I wish I could see you one last time

to properly say goodbye

but this is not a fairy tale

This is my reality

and I endure it

But how will you strike a Bullseye when all you have are wandering eyes?

How will you hit the target when you can't seem to decide?

How will you know the price is within your hands when you are searching for another woman's glance?

'Cause sometimes you shoot without acknowledging your surroundings

But was it out of boredom