living damn proof

“Yeah, well you’re lucky Luke’s not around to hear you say that. Apparently the baby learning to roll over is, in fact, a big deal.”

“I dunno, I’d say it’s pretty impressive.”

          Beck sits in silence as the other man’s discerning eyes subtly try to place him - he knows that look all too well, a double-take here and there which the man found himself subjected to from time-to-time ( maybe he had one of those faces reminiscent of someone else? heh… ). But recognition edges its way over Barnes’ features and the developer gives a lopsided grin, the gesture accompanied by a knowing nod. “You don’t need to look so worried. If I had an ulterior motive, this place would be crawling with agents right about now.” Quentin knows that the joke’s timing is ill-advised but it doesn’t stop him from smiling at the other man, the gesture ultimately disarming.

                    The engineer remembers their meeting all too well, clandestine circumstances that made the quick exchange seem like a subplot of a low budget movie ( well, that’s how his life had generally felt at the time ) - during that period Beck had desperately needed the cash, the payment having been put towards storage of his belongings while he couch-surfed, coinciding with despondent attempts to find work. The man that the other had met was clean shaven, still trying to keep up appearances for his own sake despite his dwindling drive to appear inherently presentable in a manner akin to his old employed self. In contrast, his current heavy stubble bordering on a well groomed beard is a purposeful choice.

          “Good to hear.” There’s lighthearted laughter but Quentin’s callousness meant that if anyone had in fact been caught while using his tech, the fault was squarely on them and not his system - he wouldn’t allow himself to be held accountable for idiots unable to follow instructions of a full-proof algorithm. There’s a hum of consideration as he considers SHIELD, eyes lifting to the bar’s low-hanging light fixtures - he takes a moment to think how Sin would react to him engaging in casual chit-chat and drinks with the man she seemingly hated so much ( he didn’t understand why, Barnes didn’t seem so bad..? ). ”I thought about it for a while but life had other plans for me. You know how it is, right?”

Ease settles in, gradually, like the uncurling of a fist or a drawn out exhale.

     “Yeah, unfortunately I do.” Bucky huffs out a laugh, right hand coming up to card through his hair, pausing to rub at the back of his neck-- the gesture more contemplative than anything stemming from lingering anxieties. His hand comes down to rest against the bar top, fingertip drawing a brief circle against the counter before coming to rest. “If by life’s ‘plans’ you mean nothing ever really goes quite according to any of them.”

Hellbent to not come across downtrodden, he adds--

The obvious/easy answer is during the two times he was captured during WWII; the 3+ months he was held in one of HYDRA’s labor camps and experimented on, and after his fall which resulted in his capture by the Soviets and the subsequent interrogation, torture, and experimentation that started his days as the Winter Soldier.

A lot of Bucky’s traumas revolve around these incidents, but I think even in those situations there was always that undercurrent of…expectation? Like, he was captured by the enemy and at their mercy– of course they’re going to torture him; that’s what happens.

bold➝  strongly appliesitalic ➝  soft yes / applies passively or situationally

Present:

I would kill you. ✧ I would physically hurt you. ✧ I would attack you unprovoked. ✧ I would manipulate you. ✧ I dislike you. ✧ You annoy me. ✧ You scare me. ✧ You intimidate me. ✧ I hope I intimidate you. ✧ I pity you. ✧ You disgust me. ✧ I hate you. ✧ I’m indifferent toward you. ✧ I’d like to get to know you better. ✧   I’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ I’d like to be friends with you. ✧  I’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ I’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ You are my friend. ✧ You are my best friend. ✧ You are my mentor. ✧ I look up to you. ✧ I respect you. ✧ You are my hero. ✧ You inspire me. ✧ You are my enemy. ✧ You make me happy. ✧ I want to protect you. ✧ I would fight by your side. ✧ I consider you an equal. ✧ I think you are beneath me. ✧ I think you are above me. ✧ I would lie for you. ✧ I would lie to you. ✧ I would sleep with you. ✧ I would sleep by your side. ✧ I would hug you. ✧ I would kiss you. ✧ You are family to me. ✧ I would die for you. ✧ I would kill for you. ✧ I would trust you with my life. ✧ I would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ I would trust you with a secret. ✧ I would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ I love you (platonically). ✧ I love you (romantically). Future:

This was what he wanted, right? To get Barnes all riled up to see where he can poke and prod to reveal a vulnerability. To see if the man’s truly capable of handling this situation. The evidence was in the micro-expressions. Tony would smirk at his handy work but that would probably give the wrong idea. “What about the rights of innocent people? The people that got hurt under our watch? The people that we have sworn to protect… Or do their corpses just waste away underground with no form of redemption?”

A blank stare as he continued to listen. “It could lead to something completely different if, in the wrong hands, I agree but would you rather face up against a threat and have a team that can’t do shit about it or would you rather have a well-rounded team that can take care of the threat as quickly and as efficiently as possible. Minimal damage.” They want to come in and throw accusations around but do any of them know how much money goes into cleaning services? How many lives get disrupted due to their negligence? Clearly not.

If they don’t sign. Where does that leave them? - “They want to know, it’s right there in those files where it leaves them.” glancing down at the document then back up at James. Leaning closer, elbows resting on the table as a finger pointed down at the papers. “Honestly. We sentence the bad guys to jail for unlawful conduct. If an ‘enhanced individual’ wants to work outside of the law. They should be treated the same. Don’t you think?” sometimes he questions why he already signed off on this but to him, it’s clear. Save people before the shit goes sideways. Let the governments of the world call the shots on what needs to be done.

“Besides. Isn’t working for SHIELD or HYDRA in the same spectrum. Wait for a mission, you either get picked or you don’t. The only difference here. There are fewer casualties” his eyes narrowed. Oh, he’d love to see this man’s face behind bars. Just throw him in there for every damn crime he’s ever committed under HYDRA’s influence. Shoulders tensing slightly. “We disrupt the peace of the world just as much as any other villain… And we want to call ourselves the good guys? Wake the fuck up, James.”

Stark’s questions inflict a crease at his brow, a pause of thought given to the other Avenger’s words. 

          ( not quite enough to quell the frustration brewing under his skin )

Bucky knows, verbally, Stark can give him the runaround all damn day (hell, he expects it). Bucky may not be a technical or engineering genius, but he knows how to zero in on verbal pressure points (the bane of most of his relationships-- the petty, ugly defensive response to leave an argument less scathed than otherwise), and he knows how to dig the soles of his boots into the ground and refuse to move.

     "I think the difference is clear to anyone with half a moral compass." There's a grimace curling his lip, not quite a snarl, but his frustration's clear, not really bothering to hide it. “The Avengers don’t operate outside the law to inflict harm-- criminals, terrorists, invaders--? do. Intentionally. I’m not saying our lives are more important than anyone else’s. I’m not saying there haven’t been mistakes or collateral or causalities. I’m saying we’ve been through enough shit where things could’ve been a lot worse if the Avengers weren’t around. You know if we sign this document, we can only go where they tell us-- oversight doesn’t have to mean restriction. 

     “When the Chitauri attacked Manhattan, and the World Security Council wanted to nuke the goddamn island, they didn’t want the Avengers to interfere, but you did. ...Are you really gonna tell me that if given the same choice, you’d make a different call?”

The question hangs like an invisible noose between them, a stretch of silence that seems to last longer than it probably does in reality-- frustration flaring to anger as Stark’s final comments begin to settle, longing to be ignored by the part of his mind that knows better than to pay them any spare thought, impossible to ignore by the stutter of anxiety thumping against his chest. Impulse urges him to stand, approach, but he controls it-- only leaning forward, left hand closed into a fist he hadn’t been aware of until now.