my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

“our age of bronze is collapsing” is this beautiful random burst of monty python dialogue amidst the drudgery of nolan’s vision and i think it should win the first-ever oscar for best solitary line

[wringing my hands as i look out my window directly overlooking wall street, watching the sun rise on october 29, 1929] aw fuck it’s the great depression

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

Make that girl with abandonment issues into your own emotional support plushie so she knows how much you need her at all times

* Supportive voice * yes, honey. With god by your side, you can do anything

Ok so if you are not European I want you to look up 'french tacos' real quick.

I'm watching a History Channel show about the history of American food, and apparently Kellogg never consummated his marriage of 40 years with his wife. So, uh, he wasn't just obsessed with other people not having sex, he didn't think anyone should including himself??? CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING HIS WIFE????

They didn't touch on his his advocacy for eugenics or super racism along with his extreme urge to make sure no one else had a good time at all

I understand the sentiment but imagine having SEX with that guy 🤢🤮

Ok so if you are not European I want you to look up 'french tacos' real quick.

Where's that post about feeling as a foreigner in your mother tongue 🫩

oh… that was my post from years ago, still very relevant i guess

Ive been thinking maybe the internet should be indépendant. With like, a parliament. Laws. A seat at the UN

theres an assumption that if an alien has an alien gender system they wouldnt understand homophobia but maybe they just have their own more complex version of homophobia. alien society with eight genders and a horribly complex web of what is considered socially acceptable that makes the gender binary look like easy mode. i'm inventing homophobia 2 and it's terrible.

"getting called an egg delayed my transition!!" no actually i think it was your fear of being a tranny that did that