The Polycule (.net)

For some reason late summer is always the worst for me, in terms of depression. It’s when it feels the most volatile, the hardest to ignore. I have no idea why that is, but it’s been happening! Hence me not writing very much. Until I realized that, duh, I should just write about the depression. When I’m depressed talking (and complaining) about depression is pretty much the only thing that comes easy. Well, that and sleeping. 

This entry is mostly me explaining my history of brain stuff, and that time I decided being open about my mental health issues was a personal life mission. 

Not much about sex...YET. 

Some thoughts on sexuality and identity. I still don’t feel like I quite articulated it, but it’s a start.

My emotions are fluid in nature, but my thought processes are frustratingly rigid.  Sometimes my brain falls into harmful, toxic habits that have to do with comparing partners, quantifying interaction time, and my reluctance to say ‘no’.

Here, I write about how reframing time as a fluid resource has helped me overcome scheduling angst and stay away from misguided concerns about ‘fairness’.

When it comes right down to it, balance in polyamorous relationships has less to do with nailing down a consistent schedule, and more to do with flexibility and compassion.

This article got me thinking today about emotional labor and the assumptions we make about who’s going to do it. 

The religion I grew up in was esoteric, small, and extraordinarily homophobic. I was a mentally-ill queer who fully believed, and used religion as a tool of self-destruction.

Calling myself an atheist was a huge step in healing from religious trauma, and almost all kinds of spirituality were dangerous to me. Now, almost a decade out, I am starting to readdress the faith of my childhood. The past doesn’t just go away, and I am tired of feeling like I contain two mutually exclusive people depending on my surroundings.

The beginning of a new series of blog posts about reclaiming ritual as a non-monogamous, mentally-ill queer.

This project is:  Community. Imperfection. DAMN CUTE. 

This is how I deal with jealousy. I have many different strategies, outlined in the article, but it all comes down to those three principles: self-care, normalize, and trust. 

Stay tuned for more perspectives in the coming months!

It doesn't matter how much experience we have, as soon as we think we've got it figured out, something bizarre emerges. Lessons we have learned time and time again still manage to take us by surprise.

Here is a quick list of obvious things that managed to completely blindside me once I started dating poly queers. Most still surprise me on a daily basis.

So much of the polyamorous community is queer, so why don’t we have very many explicitly queer spaces?  We have our own specific desires, values, and perspectives.

And so: 

THE POLYCULE, as told by a couple of queers.  A blog project about community and imperfection.