lovely

god is a girl

“i want you. and i don’t just mean physical. i want you when you’re bursting with happiness and i want you when you feel so sad you can’t get out of bed. i want you when it pours down with rain and i want you when the sun decides to come out. i want to know who means the world to you, who inspires you, who you never want to speak to again. i want to learn about past events and i want to create new experiences together. i want to understand how you think and how you feel. i want so much to be there to love you when you need me and want you to know i’ll be here no matter what when you don’t. i want you to know that even through rocky times, i’ll always be here wanting you.”

“Your smile is like waking up at 5 am on a summer camp morning, creeping out of the cabin and sitting outside in the gentle morning light, bare feet in the dew covered grass and a cool breeze sending a shiver down my soul. Your voice is like the gentle crash of lake water against the shore, birds chirping and leaves swaying in the lethargic wind. There are sunbeams in your eyes, heating up my bare arms as I lay in the grass. There is saltwater in your laugh, cleansing and sparkling and stinging. Watching you is like watching the earth awaken, early in the morning when the horizon is foggy and the air is still cold. And maybe you’re used to “I’m not a morning person”, to sleeping in and grumbling at the alarm clock and not smiling until a gallon of coffee has been consumed. But darling, the sunrise is always beautiful, no matter who is awake to notice.”

From the massive crowd

Aries: If I wish for anything, I would wish to be whatever you wish for. Taurus: I am still sad, tired, and in love with you. Gemini: I know you’ve been staring at the walls, waiting for your voice to see some space to sleep, but these pockets only follow the wind when the rain can’t find your steps. Cancer: Will you take my hand and trust we will end up where we need to be? Leo: Some days it’s like I’m walking around in a fog only I can see, other days my feet only point in yesterday’s I’m trying to forget. Virgo: & maybe every sunset I have ever seen has saved my life. Libra: Darling, it’s okay to not like yourself, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to get hurt by the people you love. Scorpio: We’ve been talking about forever like we can keep the leaves from one day falling, but with you, I want right now. today. this moment and every moment in between. I want to be the memories that fill your cheeks. Sagittarius: I never wanted to be the thing that hurt to remember. Capricorn: I don’t ache for you anymore, so why do I still choke on your name? Aquarius: I want to lay next to you in silence. I want to know which breaths make you afraid of your own heart, which knee holds your lips closer than a promise, which ocean you’re still unraveling your veins into. Pisces: Loving you is the only thing I got right.

andalusian love poem, #1

I never wanted a quiet, sensible sort of love. I wanted to be devoured.

Know that I loved you. Know that it was not enough.

And her I love you’s sounds a hell of a lot like you can always come home.

I’m a lover without a lover. I’m lovely and I’m lonely. I belong deeply to myself.