Theo Sterling

It’s like super quiet, who opened up The Academy’s torture dungeon and threw everyone inside? Whenever things are quiet like this, a whole bunch of either cool or terrifying shit usually pops off unexpectedly. 

@tgaimportant​

You’re right, it has been way too quiet around here. On any other day I wouldn’t mind but this is just getting unnerving. What’s up, Anderson?

PM: Would you not be able to talk to me if you didn’t? Everything okay man? We don’t really have to meet if you’re uncomfortable with it. We could do things over text or whatever, if that’s easier for you. 

“How can it not be okay to get my parents the help and care that they need?” Omar asked, then something else struck him and he almost dropped the papers in surprise. It was a good surprise, that much was obvious. “You love me, cariño?”

“I just didn’t want you to feel like it was out of pity, I didn’t want to cross a boundary. Ido care. I want to claim you. I want you to be mine, officially. I want my collar on that gorgeous fuckin’ neck, and I want my marks all fuckin’ over you at all times. I have the means. It was a drop in the bucket for me- for us baby- and I’m gonna make sure all the drops are used for good. For bettering our lives, and the lives of our families.” Theo reached for his boyfriend, pulling him in for a deep kiss. Parting their lips, Theo remained just as close to Omar’s face, looking into his eyes directly. “I love you, Omar. I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time. I love you. I need you. I want you.I will always, always, take the best care of you. You, and our family. Your parents. Mine. Our kids. Your sister. My insane brigade. We take care of our own. I love you. You’re mine. And I’m yours.”

There were things that could be said about everything else, but then the paper was handed to him and he was obviously curious. That took his attention and he took the paper too, looking from Theo to the paper and then back again before unfolding the paper. His eyes were on the other man, even with the paper open as he asked, “What is this?” His eyebrows furrowed and he laughed a little bit because it seemed so silly that somehow two slips of paper felt so heavy because of how they’d been handed over. His eyes lowered to the paper and scanned, then re-scanned. “Wait.” He read them another time.”Theo… You didn’t have to– did you really? Theo, baby… My parents…”

Watching intently Theo studied Omar while he read through the paper. He held his breath, mind racing through approximately 500 different outcomes. The decision to do what he’d done hadn’t been a quick one, but it had been an easy one, Since Omar had relayed all that was happening with his family, Theo had been thinking of and brainstorming ways to help. The last thing he wanted omar to think was that he looked at him like some sort of charity project. He’d done it because he cared deeply for and loved the other man. And the honest truth was he’d known for a while that he no longer just believed he loved Omar. Theo Sterling was well aware that he’d fallen in love with Omar Shanaa. When the day came that he would officially claim Omar, his family would become Theo’s. And that was a fact Theo took extremely seriously. “I know I didn’t have to. That ain’t the point baby. I wanted to. I wanted to. I did. I really did. Is it...Is it okay? Are you o,ay? I just didn’t- I know how much you worry baby. How guilty you feel. And how hard it is on all of you. I don’t like it. I couldn’t stand it. I care about you and them too much. I love you. It’s not a big deal. I just want things to be better. Happy. Is it...Okay?”

PM: Makes sense, but you know what I mean. Are you happy, Vic? With him? I could see it, I ain’t sayin’ i think it’s weird. I’m just askin’ because I wanna make sure. I care about you and how you are. Yeah...I’m...

PM: So me and Omar were havin’ this conversation. He told me about how tough shit is for his family. They own this little grocery store they’re still workin’ to pay off, and they can’t pay for any employees or anything. Omar was runnin’ the whole thing by himself to let his sister go off and do her thing, but then he wanted to go off and do his thing so then it was just...HIs parents. LIke one other person at one point, but that ain’t relevant right now. And his dad’s in real bad health. Can’t hardly walk but still tryin’ to work at the store. It stresses him real bad. He’s real worried. And I couldn’t have it. I couldn’t. So I...

Grinning in response, Omar’s smile widened with each new numbered item Theo listed. He shook his head shyly at the final compliment and laughed, taking one of what he’d made and dipping it in the chocolate a little bit. “They’re churros, and I was trying to make them in straight lines, actually. My sister used to make them back home. No prompt, I just wanted to make something nice for us. Your smile looks even sweeter than the dessert, you know.”

Omar’s grin brought Theo’s own to spread further, and he reached forward to wrap his arms around his boyfriend. His lips found Omar’s temple then forehead then cheek and then lips, his grip tightening. When he dipped the churro, Theo leaned up to guide the treat into his mouth, all while Omar held onto it. “This is delicious. I mean fuck, this is good. Really good, baby. Thank you for this. I think they’re fuckin’ amazing. Who the fuck needs straight anyway? Neither of us are, our dessert shouldn’t be either.” Theo laughed at himself before taking another bite. “You’re the best cook in the place. I’m so fuckin’ lucky. This is the best surprise ever. It does huh? You could tell me more about that if you wanted. I’ve got a surprise for you too actually. I was gonna wait til the weekend but...Nah.” Theo leaned up a little, pulling two slips of folded paper from his back pocket before passing them to Omar. 

“Hey, babe? I made us some dessert. I hope you’re still hungry.”

@theosterlinghearts​

“Hey babe yourself. The first thig you should know is that I’m always hungry. The second is that I’m always hungry for anything you make. The third is that dessert is my favorite meal. And the fourth? It’s that it’s even better when you’re the dessert. I like this. It looks delicious, and it smells even better. You’re a regular pastry chef. I bet you could own one hell of a bakery you know. What prompted this baby?”

OMG it has, like, def been a while! I know I’ve been supes quiet, but I’ve really been working hard on keeping up with my grades, and all my activities. It takes time and dedication to succeed, and that’s a fact! I def hope everyone is doing super-duper well! I know I’ve missed a lot, and there has been, like, a ton going on, but I’m supes happy to see everyone still here! For anyone who’s interested, which should def be everyone, we’ve got a Dance Team Competition this Saturday! It’s the first one of the season, and it’s going to be supes rad! Let me know if I’ll see you there!

@tgaimportant​

Aye, just stopping in to say you all killed it at the competition. No surprise it was all pretty much a clean sweep. Hats off to you, man. 

Yeah…I think that’ll just about do it for me. I can’t watch this bullshit anymore.  @tgaimportant​

I love you, G. It’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay. 

This place is… large. 

@tgaimportant​

So, the prodigal son returns. That’s a face I didn’t think I’d ever see again. But, here you are. How’s the noggin’, Gabe?

Hello again, everybody. The safe space / mark-free zone has been a big hit. Tonight, I’ve taken another suggestion into organization mode and if you head on down anytime until Monday morning you’ll be able to take part in a spot of friendly video game competition. We’re going to keep things chill and stick to the Wii, starting with Mario Party and voting through the other games I’ve got in here until everyone’s over it or falls asleep. There are snacks, drinks, and a bit of a dinner buffet. Just try to keep the controllers clean, please. No fighting. I might not be there or be there for long, I have some personal stuff to tend to tonight but I’ll put what I can into this for everyone. The tutor will be there, regardless, to make sure nothing insane happens.

@tgaimportant​

Look at you making all the progress. I give you props. You and everyone else who’s been working on stuff. I’ve been laying low, but you know I’ll be there with my boy. And where is it you’re runnin’ off to in such a hurry, Meeks?

“No, I’m going to worry about you, baby. Because I know that hurts you, and it hurts me. Come here, baby. Let’s talk about this, I want to make sure this never hurts you again. Look at me, please. I’m right here, happily so. We should never be about anyone else, we should never have to feel like we were or are. For me, this isn’t about anyone else. I’m not with you solely because things with someone else went differently. I’m not even here solely because of your efforts in my direction. I’m here because I adore you. I admire you. I want to be with you. You are a compassionate, caring, generous, exciting, funny, talented, smart, and loving man. An incredible Dominant. My Dominant. And my boyfriend. I can’t stand that anyone would dare say this to you. To upset you in this way, and to use me to do it. You’re too good for this pain. Talk to me, please. Lean on me. Let this bring us closer together instead of further apart.”

“You’re sweet. You always were. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to let this draw us apart. It’s a stupid comment made by a stupid person who can’t bother to be big enough to show their face, because they know what would happen to it if they did. It does help, hearin’ you say that stuff. I know you ain’t here because of that stuff. I’m just...Already havin’ a rough day. Talk about kickin’ a man when he’s down. It’s alright, ain’t nothin’ I ain’t used to. I’ll get over it, don’t worry. I don’t want...I dunno. It’s alright. I don’t really know what to say. I don’t want this to be...It. I don’t want that to be how people see us. You. Me. Any of it. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I reached out to you because you needed someone. All I ever tried to do was be there. I didn’t intend to take you from anyone. I figured I’d just hang out until you were confident enough to spread those wings and fly right back to him. I figured I’d be a steppin’ stone. I feel for you, I admit it. I started wonderin’ what could happen if I wasn’t just a steppin’ stone. And I wanted to show you how you should be treated. How important you are. How much you’re worth. How precious and valuable and perfect you are. By that time you’d taken my heart. I still expected it to be him and you though. You know I did, we’ve talked about this before. Sometimes I’m scared. Sometimes I worry. That’s the shit I don’t let you see, because you don’t need to. I’m the Dominant. I’m supposed to just take it, and go on like there ain’t shit wrong. So I do. And I’m not bothered all the time. I just...I dunno. It’s alright. I’m here. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I don’t wanna. I’m yours. Your boyfriend. Your Dominant. And anything else you want me to be. Are you feelin’ okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s fine. Don’t worry about me, it’s all good. You okay?”

Oh...Wow. Wow.

PM: I wanna come see you. Either right now or when we’re done with this, whatever works for you. I ain’t alright with not lookin’ you in the eye after that. I’ll give you the long version. We’ll talk. I know I don’t act like I wanna, but I do, and if I do talk… it’s gonna be with you. Hands down. I wanna hear about you too. I’ll be better when I say shit, I know I hold it in and then I snap. I ain’t perfect. I don’t wanna hurt you with what I say. The identity thing as goin’ on from the moment I got here. It was like Dom drop, but stardom drop. People don’t even know who I am here, for whatever reason. To go from touring the world as an infamous member of an infamous family that had an infamous family band that now has an infamous band with an equally infamous brother to people not lookin’ twice and askin’ who I was. I thought that was bad, but then that stopped and I had nothin’. Just takin’ care of the rest of us. I was tryna reach out to Reg back then, he said more shit to me before, maybe we just.. both think the same shit I’m thinkin’ about it all. I stopped checkin’ up like I was because it didn’t seem like he needed me anymore. Maybe that’s a me thing. We’re different people than we were when we literally spent every single waking hour together, and sometimes even fell asleep drunk in a dog pile on top of each other. It ain’t like that anymore, when he shacks up he shacks up with his boy. Which is good, I want that for him. But it just feels like it’s time for me to let him do his thing there, he ain’t even talkin’ about it yet and it’s been years. We all know what’s goin’ on and he still likes to pretend that he thinks we don’t know. I should push more, but like… I’m Vic Sterling, not Dr. Phil. Clearly I do a bang-up job at problem solvin’ and emotional convos. I didn’t and I don’t wanna fuck up what he’s got goin’ by stickin’ my nose in– the same nose that can’t keep his own love life settled, so it has no business actin’ like an expert. It’s like my days as a Bowers are over, my days as a rockstar are on pause because apparently ain’t none’a the shit I done matters here, and every time I let my walls down enough to be myself it goes badly. Real ironic that I’m stick in this in-between and not-quite territory, like back when I couldn’t figure out why I hated gendered shit. I can’t figure out why I don’t like where I’m at as me. Personally. I can’t figure out why I’m not perceived the way that I wanna be. And I keep gettin’ mad and explodin’. Maybe that’s why Emile is gone. We ended shit real slow. I ain’t said shit about it yet. To anyone. I just kinda moved on. But he’s gone. Didn’t really say much about it. There was a connection and a spark, there was somethin’ to hold onto. Then there just wasn’t. All he wanted to talk about on my birthday was Gigi. No gift. No happy birthday. Reg embarrassed the shit outta me by callin’ me out and told me to get my shit together, to grab my nuts and talk it out or whatever. So I did. I told him it was cool if he fell out, that he could go if he wanted and it would be alright. So one day, he did. I woke up and his shit was gone. I ain’t been up to much since, really. I don’t wanna be a mope about a boy, I sure ain’t gonna let him drag me into makin’ other people worry about me or doin’ anythin’ stupid. I dragged myself outta bed at the first sign of someone else in distress though, I guess that is my thing now. Couldn’t resist. Used to not bother me, but now I can’t stand watchin’ people– Subs especially– miss out or not get the help they need. I did the same for the next few times people were in need and it led to Roderick. He wanted to go to the pet fair but wasn’t gonna go alone. He’s shy, like I said. We even sat in the hallway before we went to the pet fair so he could get used to me a bit before he relied on me to help him through a crowd. It went well, he got a dog. We kept checkin’ in on each other, we hung out a few times. He’s sweet. Also a virgin and real easy to tease, which you know me so again… also kinda hard to resist. We messed around but like.. not messed around. Like I know it was a big deal for him. So it’s a big deal to me too. He would’a let me fuck him then and there, but I made him wait even. To make a bigger deal outta it than just a one night and boom, everythin’s gone situation. His first time is gonna take the whole weekend to finish, and even then I might decide to make him wait until Monday after class just so I can tease him all day. Off topic. Anyway. I do care about him. I do like him. I don’t wanna hurt him, and he’s a shy virgin so… chances are, I’m gonna. I don’t wanna, but rough and soft don’t go well together. …I don’t want to let myself end up lookin’ like a fool again. I had been startin’ to lean back into the bully persona before I met Emile, and he was so anxious it squashed that immediately. Aside from the unintentional shit, ‘cause I’m… me. I was gonna lean Sterling rockstar this time. Maybe a bit of bully too, when I had the energy to put in the effort. Rockstar vibes are a lotta energy too but it’s like a drug. I’ve just been havin’ trouble with shit outside of family affairs, and family affairs are… well, you know. Shit too. Sometimes I just wanna walk outta my room and strangle the first person I see. Sometimes I can’t give a single fuck. This place is a wacko show. 

PM: Don’t matter, either way. Whatever works. You’ve got some shit goin’, so...It’s up to you. I know. It just makes it hard sometimes. You say you don’t wanna talk, you act like you don’t wanna, then when I give you the space I thought you wanted...I ain’t sayin’ this is your fault. I should’ve paid more attention. I just get lost in my own head sometimes. Forget who I am. Who everyone else is too. I’ve noticed the identity thing, you ain’t alone. People here don’t read shit, they act like they don’t know shit, and then when someone calls them out on it, they act all righteous and high and mighty like ain’t nobody have the right to tell them they’re talkin’ out of their asses. I wish I had a better piece of advice to give you there. I don’t have the cure for that one. Other than to say don’t put too much stock into it. This place has the worst of the worst and the best of the best, we all know who’s who and they just keep makin’ it real obvious. You know what it’s like out there. Outside of this place. People know who you are and people love you. So just focus on that. I know it’s hard. But don’t let the idiots in this place bring you down like that. Maybe it’s supposed to be some kinda universe lesson. Growth shit. That’s your own personal journey to take, and like I said I’m runnin’ into the same shit so...I don’t know that I can really be a guiding light here. Wish that was different, I wish I could be. But I can’t make people make sense and I can’t make people use their brains. Other than to tell you they ain’t shit. 

As far as the Reg stuff...That ain’t my business, overall. But from an outsider’s perspective, maybe try more with him. I know you feel like it hasn’t been equal, but from what you’re describin’ that ain’t either of your faults. Life happens sometimes and this place does shit to the best of people. I know it seems like he’s been hidin’, you’re right he’s been real quiet, other than what happened the other night. But...Maybe you’re right. Maybe this place is doin’ the same shit to him that it is to you. And they’ve got his ass locked up in prison over there. Maybe he don’t wanna have you around because he feels some type of way about it. I don’t know for sure. I’m just guessin’. Maybe he’s tryin’ to come to terms with who he is just like you are. Tryin’ to figure this shit out. Think about how you feel, and you’ve got free reign of the place. He breathes wrong and they’ll keep him held up over there for that much longer. And you two were so fuckin’ close, but maybe he’s feelin’ some of that same shit. It’s clear he’s not totally cool with who he is, he thinks he’s gotta hide out with Ginger. And...I don’t know. I just think you should talk to him. Just don’t put your feelings onto him. I don’t say that to dismiss your feelings or anything. I just want to make sure. I just think maybe he’s hurting the same way you are. I love you man, but he went to war the other night standin’ up for what he believes in. I’ll be the first to say I don’t think he was wrong either. I ain’t tryin’ to bring up old shit. But what I’m sayin’ is...It looked to me like the only people who had his back were the people locked up over there with them. And again, I ain’t sayin’ you needed to go stickin’ your nose in it. But we both know that ain’t how shit has ever been between you two before. And...Being locked up like that does shit to you. Thinkin’ the only people who have your back are people like Malakai Abrams...It’ll do something to you. Just be understanding, that’s all I’m sayin’. Because I don’t think that one is exactly what it might look like it is. 

I don’t think that’s why Emile is gone. You did everything for him. I’m not sayin’ it’s terrible or berating you, but I do stand by what I said. Heads were shoved in asses. I just mean, I think there was way too much lovey-dovey goin’ on for you to snap on him like that. I’m sorry he didn’t do what you needed. I’m sorry he ignored you, and your birthday. I’m sorry things didn’t end well or the way you wanted. I know that’s hard. Especially since you don’t open yourself up to shit like that. I just don’t want you to let it destroy any possibilities for the future. It’s dumb as shit, but just...Look at it like the universe is tellin’ you that he wasn’t the one. Maybe you needed him for some kind of experience, to learn to be soft, to know that there was another way. And maybe even though it didn’t go how you wanted, the universe is tellin’ you that it’s okay to learn to be that way, even when shit doesn’t go right. You’re a great guy, and you always have been no matter how much you try and hide it. I think you’re comin’ into your own more than you think you are. 

As far as that new boy you’ve got in your suite...Hey, you do you man. Do what you wanna, and what you’ve gotta. I don’t want you hurt, or to feel like you have to be a certain way because of how shit has already gone. I don’t want you doin’ that to yourself. And I ain’t tryin’ to care more about him than you, but we both know the Meeks family. They’re good people, and they’ve always been on the right side of things. It’s no secret Ross is the tougher of the two. I just mean...Be careful. For both of your sakes. You’re talkin’ about takin’ this man’s virginity, that’s a big leap for someone. Especially someone we both know wouldn’t say boo to a ghost, and who is kind of afraid of his own shadow. You’re a good guy. Do what you feel. Just...Pay attention, yeah? Take it for a grain of salt, but I somehow doubt Roderick Meeks is ever gonna make you look like a fool. I could be wrong, I have been before. But something just tells me that ain’t gonna be what shit looks like at the end of the day. So you like him, so you wanna take time with him, so you wanna make it special. That’s all good shit. But for you, is that for this weekend? This month? Do you think that’s what he’s expectin’? Just...Make sure you’re both on the same page, alright? 

I think you need to put energy into being you. Rockstar, bully, Dominant, fuckin’ pole dancer for all I care. But whatever you do, just be yourself. And make sure you’re happy with and can live with what you choose. Yeah, I know. I know they are. I know how you feel. It’s alright. It’ll be alright. I know it is, you’ll get no argument from me. But we’ll get through it. If it’s the last thing I do we’ll get through it.