¿Venus?

I finished my meeting with Slenderman after returning back to the Slender mansion alone. I didn't know what I expected from him. Of course he'd would have been mad. I ghosted him and didn't even reach out. What the fuck does writing letters do when you don't send them. I should have sent those damn letters and I should have said Goodbye to Toby. 

I stepped out into the foggy forest, replaying my conversation with Toby over in my mind. He was right to be angry - I should have had the courage to face Toby one last time before leaving. My hands pulled at my hair as I decided that this time before I left I'd do the proper thing and tell him goodbye before leaving. I steeled my nerves and walked back towards the mansion, following the fading lights in the windows through the dense fog.

As I approached, I heard laughter echoing from within - Toby's laugh, the comforting sound of his charming, boyish chuckle, along with others and If I had to guess it was Brian or Tim. My heart clenched at the thought of him finding joy without me, but I had lost the right to feel jealousy. I owed him the truth. I was his friend. I should have been the one in there laughing with him. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Toby stopped laughing and looked up at me with a confused expression. I slowly walked in, my heart pounding. The warmth and light of the foyer felt foreign after so long in the cold fog. Brian and Tim exchanged puzzled glances before noticing the tense stare shared between Toby and I. The levity died in their throats. More than likely they didn't know what happened, and were puzzled at my appearance back at the mansion after so long. "Oh hey, You’re back" Brian said, his voice hushed and very obviously nudged Toby in the side. So they in fact didn’t know about earlier. I was too overwhelmed to speak. I slowly closed my eyes and took a deep breath before speaking.

And then Tim interjected, “That’s great, are you staying? It gets so annoying to hear Toby whine about you.” With exaggerated gestures and a theatrical flair, Brian and Tim clung to each other, enacting a ludicrous pantomime of Toby's complaints.

Toby's eyes performed an exasperated pirouette. “Oh, h….Hilarious,” he deadpanned, the words dripping with sarcasm, while the other two erupted into boisterous guffaws that ricocheted off the walls.

“I'm not staying, I’m going back. I just came to say goodbye this time.” I said. Brian and Tim gave me an awkward look before quickly changing the subject.

“What! You just got here!” Toby exclaimed. I sighed softly, gathering the courage to meet Toby's pleading gaze. "I know, and I'm sorry. But I can't stay - there's something I need to take care of. I only came back to say a proper goodbye this time." Silence fell as my words sank in. Toby searched my face for answers, his brow furrowed with confusion and hurt. 

“No” Toby grabbed my hand and pulled me up stairs into a room alone, Slamming the doors shut and grabbing my shoulders, “You can’t f-fucking leave again, not so soon, not before I… Not before I could try convince you to stay”

“Toby…”

“N-NO! Don't you dare ‘Toby’ me” I met his eyes, seeing the turmoil of emotions within - pain, anger, fear of being left alone once more. My own heart twisted at having caused him such distress again. He took a shaky breath as he looked at me with the expression of a kicked puppy. “Why did you have to go? Why couldn’t you stay here with me?” He asked, his voice was hoarse as his grip on my shoulders tightened.

“Life was boring here I wanted a little more adventure”

“So I guess I wasn’t important enough for you to stay then?” his voice filled with hurt and contempt.

“Don’t put words in my mouth like that, I care about you, I do. And you are very dear to me-” I said, trying to calm him down. Toby groaned and cut me off.

“Y…you don’t get it” He slid off his muzzle and drew my face nearer to his own, the roughness of his chapped lips pressing insistently against mine. The sensation of his chapped lips pressing insistently against mine was rough yet urgent, like a plea for understanding and connection. I could feel the texture of his dry skin brushing against my lips, each touch carrying a hint of desperation and longing. It was a tangible reminder of the intensity of his emotions, leaving a lingering imprint that spoke of unspoken words and unresolved tensions. I hardly had time to register what was happening.

“Why couldn’t you stay for me?” Toby asked again as he whined.

I stood there frozen, my mind reeling as I processed what had just transpired between us. Toby searched my face hesitantly, clearly distressed by my stunned silence.

"Toby, I..." My eyes fell closed as I took a steadying breath. When I opened them again, I gently took his hands in mine. “I never wanted to hurt you. I love you, I really do. And that's partly why I left, I thought some distance might be good because I thought you didn’t feel how I felt-” My confession tumbled out in a hurried stream, but Toby cut me off with another kiss. His calloused hands, like worn leather, cupped the sides of my face.

As Toby drew back from our kiss, I searched his eyes, seeing longing matched only by fear. He cared for me deeply, that much was clear - yet opening one's heart to another means risking profound hurt. I understood why the prospect of my leaving again had pained him so. I had been so blind and so dumb. I had been so blind and so dumb. I felt a familiar fluttering in my stomach. I had to stay now.

It was early January in Colorado; the biting cold nipped at my exposed skin, sending shivers down my spine. The frigid air felt like sharp needles pricking at my fingertips even with gloves, leaving them numb and tingling. Even through layers of clothing, I could feel the intense cold seeping into my bones, causing my body to tense up. Every breath felt like it was freezing my lungs as I exhaled, creating a visible cloud of vapor in the air. The sky was clear and the sun shone brightly. The snow sparkled and shimmered, outlining the landscape. It was a peaceful and beautiful sight. The snow and leaves crunched under my boots as I walked back to the Slender Mansion. It had been a full year since I left. I had gone to the city under Slender's orders and now I was back, even if it wasn't for very long.

A low whistling sound, like something metal and heavy was thrown at full force flashes past my head, barely grazing my loose hair. The heavy thud of a hatchet hitting a tree causes me to turn. Behind me stood a lifeless tree, its decaying branches reaching out like skeletal fingers. And there, lodged firmly in the rough bark, was a weathered hatchet. I looked back in front of me, a scowl plastered on my face. It was Toby, he stood about 50-ish feet in front of me. He looked different. He no longer had his raggedy brown and blue hoodie. It had instead been replaced by a grayish blue jacket accompanied with a trucker hat. One thing that did stay the same, or rather two was his muzzle and his orange goggles. I looked back at the hatchet, I hadn't even recognized who they belonged to. My scowl was quickly replaced by a smile.

"I missed?" his voice sounded, it seemed shocked.

I take off my mask, I had changed it since I last saw Toby. My new mask has little doodles and other graffiti all over it, making it fit my style more. "Is that any way to treat an old friend?" I chuckle, walking forward a bit. He walked forward, his eyes a bit wide.

"What? no welcome back?" I say, a small smile plastered on my lips. His initial shock of seeing me wears off. He glares at me, his eyes are like sharp daggers. "Why t...he hell are you back?"

"I missed you, Besides, Denver was boring." I say. I'm back at the behest of Slenderman, but I did miss Toby, and Denver did get boring when I missed him. Toby narrows his eyes, skepticism etched into every crease of his face. He takes a step closer, his breath visible in the freezing air, the vapor seeped through the open crevices in his muzzle. The chilly mist emanating from his mouth hangs in the air for a moment before dissipating, creating a ghostly effect. As he moves nearer, His gaze then sharpens, transforming into penetrating daggers that reflect his discontent. He huffed.

"Why? It’s not like we’re friends or anything.” He said in a harsh voice. I frown.

"We are" I said, titling my head a bit. I cant blame him. Afterall I didn't tell him I was leaving. Not even a goodbye. I deeply regret it, but I couldn't change that.

"I'm sorry for not telling you I was leaving or even telling you goodbye, I really should have" I said my voice was soft.

"yes...y..es you should have," He huffs again. He was angry and I did not blame him "actually it's whatever It not like I cared." I paused for a moment, my heart sinking at his dismissive words. It hurt more than I thought it would, hearing him say that. But I couldn't dwell on my own hurt feelings. I reach my hand out to touch his.

"It doesn't sound like you don't care." Toby recoils slightly at my outstretched hand. His eyes flicker with a mix of emotions.

"Don't touch me." He barked, slapping my hand away.

"Sorry-Right... sorry" I said. Toby is quiet for a moment.

"It was boring here without you." His voice and eyes soften.

"It was" I smile. As angry as he was he missed me. Toby let out a frustrated growl, his gloved hands gripping his hatchet tightly. His slender frame tensed, and it seemed like he was struggling to keep his emotions in check.

"Yeah" He grunts, his tough guy persona comes back.

"I am really really sorry I didn't at least say goodbye" I apologize again. 

“You’ve already said that” Toby rolled his eyes 

“I tried to write to you when I was away.” I said, “I never sent them but I wrote a lot…I guess the gesture is useless because I never sent them” I spoke. My voice was a little sad

 Toby's gaze softens, a flicker of warmth passing through his eyes. He hesitates for a moment before speaking, his tone losing some of its harshness, though it there laced into each word, "So?"

As I reach into the inside pocket of my jacket, my fingers curl around a bundle of letters. Pulling them out, I reveal a collection of folded papers, varying in size and color. The letters are neatly stacked, each one bearing the marks of time, with edges slightly frayed and corners softened. Some envelopes are worn and discolored, while others appear crisp and new. The sight of the numerous letters emanates a sense of both curiosity and nostalgia, hinting at the stories and emotions contained within each one.

His eyes dart to the letters, he looks like he wants them, but he's fighting himself.

"You can have them, read them if you want..." I offer them to him,  His gaze lingers on the letters for a moment. He scoffs.

"I don't want them."  I feel my heart sink once again, but this time it's a pang of disappointment mixed with resignation. I had hoped that he would take the opportunity to glimpse into my thoughts, to understand the depth.

"Alright" I put them back in my jacket "that's a problem , good, I wrote some pretty embarrassing and sappy stuff in those"  Toby's eyes widened for a moment, his curiosity piqued by my sudden revelation.

He snorts. “You think I’d actually read them?" It's obvious he's trying to convince himself he doesn't want to read them.

"Yeah I forgot you can't read" I joke, playfully teasing him. Toby scoffs, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. He lightly slaps my arm "Who says I can't read? I just choose not to."

"I only jest, I know you can read" The tension starts to ease between us.

"Why did you come back anyway? Why did you really come back" Toby asked again, taking off his muzzle. revealing his mouth. The scar on his cheek looks a bit rougher and his chin has a bit more hair on it. I look down at his fingers to get a better look at them. They look a bit rough too. He must be chewing on them. Afterall I wasn't around to remind him to stop.

"Well it's like I said. I missed you" I answered.  Toby's face contorts into a mixture of disbelief and annoyance. He shakes his head, clearly not satisfied with my response.

"That's it? You just missed me? Bullshit"

"I did."

He glares. “Like hell you did.”

"What the hell Toby, I did"

“And I don’t believe you.” He crosses his arms. “And why didn’t you say bye, anyways? Why’d you just disappear?”

“Goodbye are hard, I thought maybe I'd I just left it be less hard"

 I sighed, feeling the weight of my past mistakes and the strain of the current conversation resting heavily on my shoulders. I had hoped that my return would bring some semblance of peace and understanding between us. Toby went silent for a minute. The silence was a bit deafening. Even the trees seemed to stop rustling as the air went heavy. 

“Well, you were wrong.” Toby finally says with a huff.

“I know, I'm really really sorry.”

“Do you expect me to forgive you?” He scoffs, pulling his goggles off his face. 

“No, I don’t, But I hoped maybe you could?”

“Well I am not.”

“That’s okay. Like I said, I don't expect you to,” Toby held grudges, and he was good at it, “But I promise when I leave again, I’ll tell you and I’ll say goodbye.”

"When you leave again?!” His eyes go a bit wide. His voice is more shocked than angry. “When you leave again?” He repeats. 

“Is that a joke?” he asked.

"Why would it be a joke?" I ask and tilt my head to the side.

“You’re leaving again? I thought you were staying.” He’s disappointed, as much as he tries to hide it he wants me to go.

"I'm staying for a week," I admit.

“Why? Why bother coming back at all then?” He starts to pace. “No you know what, You’re not important to me. I don’t care. You’re just a waste of time, a burden you should have stayed in denver.” He spat, venom laced his words. I knew he was just talking out of anger and hurt, but it didn’t make the impact of the words any less harsh.

“You don’t mean that,” I said.

“Oh, but I do!” he barks.

“Well, don’t worry then. I’ll leave after I check in with Slenderman.” I shake my head. I start to walk in the direction of the Slender Mansion.