scraps & scribbles.

My left hand will live longer than my right. The rivers of my palms tell me so. Never argue with rivers. Never expect your lives to finish at the same time. I think

praying, I think clapping is how hands mourn. I think staying up and waiting for paintings to sigh is science. In another dimension this is exactly what’s happening,

it’s what they write grants about: the chromodynamics of mournful Whistlers, the audible sorrow and beta decay of Old Battersea Bridge. I like the idea of different

theres and elsewheres, an Idaho known for bluegrass, a Bronx where people talk like violets smell. Perhaps I am somewhere patient, somehow kind, perhaps in the nook

of a cousin universe I’ve never defiled or betrayed anyone. Here I have two hands and they are vanishing, the hollow of your back to rest my cheek against,

your voice and little else but my assiduous fear to cherish. My hands are webbed like the wind-torn work of a spider, like they squeezed something in the womb

but couldn’t hang on. One of those other worlds or a life I felt passing through mine, or the ocean inside my mother’s belly she had to scream out.

Here, when I say I never want to be without you, somewhere else I am saying I never want to be without you again. And when I touch you in each of the places we meet,

The little demons of grief came to live with me, in the space between the shadows and the floor.

they listen and they DO judge💅🏻💚❤️

oh who would have known that naruto brainrot would hit twice as hard the second time, i thought the first time was bad T_T

t-shirts refs down here

She was born a slave and freed when the Emancipation Proclamation was issued (she was about 30)

She was about six feet tall and 200 pounds and once she was free she decided she’d never take shit from anyone ever again

When one of her close friends, a nun by the name of Mother Amadeus, became ill with pneumonia at her convent in Montana, Mary headed alone into the frontier to nurse Mother Amadeus back to health

After Mother Amadeus recovered, she gave Mary a job as the foreman of the convent. She repaired buildings, took care of chickens, made the long and dangerous journeys into town for supplies, and did other odd jobs.

She could drink most men under the table, and one saloon offered five bucks and a free shot of whiskey to any man who could take a punch to the face from Mary and remain standing. 

She was once said by a local paper to have broken more noses than anyone else in Montana

She was outspokenly Republican, which at this time was the liberal party in America, and would get into political debates with the more conservative townsfolk

One time a man insulted her outside the saloon so hit him in the face with a rock, and only stopped when other cowboys held her back.

On one supply run into town, her wagon overturned and the horses fled. Mary spent all night single-handedly fending off a pack of wolves with her guns before she righted the heavy wagon by herself and tracked down the spooked horses. The only thing lost in the accident was a jar of molasses.

She lost her job at the convent when she got into a gunfight with a male employee who did not want to take orders from a black woman. She reportedly shot him in the ass, which angered the local bishop.

After losing her convent job, Mary spent a brief time running a restaurant, where she welcomed and served all comers

When a job for a mail carrier opened at the local US Post Office, Mary got the job because she managed to hitch six horses to a wagon faster than any of the male candidates

She was sixty at the time

This made her the first black woman mail carrier, and the second woman mail carrier in US history

When the snows were too deep for the horses to manage the long and dangerous delivery routes, Mary would strap on snowshoes, put the bags of mail on her shoulders, and do it herself

At one point she apparently had a pet eagle????

She only retired from the mail route when she was about 70 years old, and instead made a quieter living by babysitting and running a laundry business in the town of Cascade

She was a huge baseball fan and often gave the local team a big bouquet of flowers from her garden

The people of Cascade loved Mary so much that they closed the schools annually on her birthday

When a law was passed in Montana that forbade women from drinking in saloons, the mayor of Cascade granted Mary an exemption. 

When her house burned down, the whole town got together to help her build a new one

She continued drinking, fighting, and going to baseball games until she died of liver failure at 82 in 1914

Mary (far right) and the local baseball team

Sakura's axe