Shadow'dMoon

i love when i “make a mental note” of something. it’s gone within 20 seconds

there's a tortoise at work and he's 30 years old and I love that he's 30 years old because I can look at this animal that is 3 years older than me and go "does the man want his appy slices??" and he hustles over cause the man do want his appy slices

#the more you think about it the more all vampire rules are just anti-italian rules#can’t go out in sunlight?? IN ITALY???#Can’t go near crucifixes? IN ITALY???

a bunch of pissed off vampires stuck in Venice because they can’t go over moving water

Not to victim blame, but you’d have to be a pretty bad Italian to even get turned into a vampire in the first place.

the only two places practically immune to vampires are texas and italy

Lithuania has one vampire, and let me tell you, she’s gonna be FURY UNLEASHED once someone gets her out of the centre of that crossterfuck of a burial point.

cackled and kicked my feet at “crossterfuck” oh my god

@cassandrasdreamworld

Italian vampires would find no garlic an annoyance and the frequency of religious symbols a real pain, but at least they could fall back on accidents with tomato sauce as an excellent excuse for those awkward-coloured stains on shirt or chin…

Just because someone doesn’t require much, doesn’t mean you give the minimum.

This goes over a lot of people’s heads