Welcome to my liar

absolute funniest thing that can happen now is Mitch shows up to work just fine on monday

Mitch McConnell, Vampire Turtle

is it too early or can we start screaming now

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

male entitlement in academic spaces is so boring. can’t tell you how many times i’ve been in a class and a girl gives a short, insightful analysis, and then a dude raises his hand and says “jumping off of that…” then says literally the same thing she said but longer and worse.

dude.

this is art

#a fun fact about tumblr is that if you dare to complain about a mundanely frustrating type of person#that exact type of person will appear in your notes as if summoned via a ouija board

at work someone asked how far we had to take a road and my boss went "about six or--" and then cut herself off and very carefully went "Seven or six miles."

I admit I have enjoyed looking at boobies once or twice

tu LANCES félicette ? tu lances son corps comme la fusée ? oh ! oh ! prison pour les scientifiques ! prison pour les scientifiques pendant Un Mille Ans !

The reflecting pool in DC was just redone in “American flag blue” at the request of Mr. Drump and the sealant on the bottom is already peeling off and the pool is now full of algae and surprise surprise the guy that owns the company that got contracted to do it was a major donor to his campaign and appears to know him personally.

Maybe you don’t personally care about the reflecting pool but this is just another example of corruption going on currently

Also it feels kinda symbolic.

And the company is called Greenwater Services.

Yeah that too

”How come you’ve never seen the Amazon rainforest if you’re from Brazil?” big country

Wait, hold on, I can illustrate it in a funnier way

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

They are both doing the "I want" chitter. They very much want to get up, but they have a sleeping baby cuddling with them. They must endure, but they will not be silent about it

Well well well, kitties. Looks like you want to get up but there's a little cat on you so you can't. Very frustrating situation there, can't imagine the burden of being held down by a little adorable kittycat. Couldn't, as the kids say, be me.

Buran Orbiter

Okay and the left one?

dogy