MVO

Zoey crossed her arms and began to pout in the way that always made Mira chuckle and want to tease her further. 

"Miraaaaaa," she whined. "I haven't gotten any one-on-one time with Rumi this week!"

"What about your boba date the other day?" A smirk began to creep across Mira's face. 

"The one you crashed?" Zoey said accusingly. "Rumi, tell her it's my turn."

Rumi gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry, sweetie. She's already halfway done. You can do it tomorrow."

"You snooze, you lose," Mira added, just to see how far she could push her. 

"You're so mean." Zoey glared at her, anger engineered for the sake of dramatics but frustration somewhat genuine. 

"Cry about it." Mira kept her eyes focused on Rumi's hair rather than Zoey's reaction. As she'd learned from ragebaiting her with incorrect turtle facts, Zoey tended to just grumble and walk away as soon as she realized how entertaining Mira found the whole thing. Best to hide her own amusement for as long as possible. 

"Mira!" 

"Zoey," she replied calmly. 

"Do you want to just let her finish?" Rumi murmured to her. "She seems upset."

"Nah," Mira said, louder to make sure Zoey could hear. "She's just being a brat, like always."

Then Zoey drove the final nail into the coffin. She stamped her foot in frustration, and Mira burst out laughing hard enough to make her ribs hurt. It took her several minutes to calm down enough to speak, by which point Zoey looked ready to kill her. 

"You are so cute!" she chortled. 

"I'm breaking up with you," Zoey grumbled. 

Mira's heart skipped a beat. Her hands froze in Rumi's hair. She knew Zoey didn't mean it. Of course she didn't mean it. They traded jabs and had meaningless arguments for fun all the time. They were just joking around. Just playing. There was no reason to take it seriously. And yet...

"Fine, jeez." She stood up, relinquishing her spot, much to Rumi's confusion. "Have fun."

"Wait, really?" Zoey blinked at her, like she couldn't believe that had actually worked. 

"Whatever. It's not that serious," Mira replied despite the tightening in her chest. She pointedly avoided the eyes she knew were on her and pushed past Zoey to make her way out of the living area and down the hall to her room. 

Even as she closed and locked the door behind her, she knew she was being stupid. Zoey wasn't actually mad at her, nor was she at Zoey. Neither of them even cared that much about being the one to braid Rumi's hair, even if they did want one-on-one time with her. More than anything, Zoey had probably made it dramatic because she was bored. They all did that. Nobody ever took it seriously. 

But nobody had ever threatened to break up before. 

"Stupid," Mira muttered to herself as she flopped down on her bed. "She didn't mean it."

So, why did she feel like the rug had just been pulled out from underneath her? Why was her head spinning the way it had that day five years ago?

Fucking idiot, she thought, rolling over so that her back was to the door, getting your feelings hurt over nothing. 

But it wasn't nothing. It was the completely casual threat of having everything she cared about ripped away from her in an instant. It was being unwanted; quality time between her partners not counting because she was there. 

It was being eighteen again, not realizing she had walked through her own front door for the last time until she was already on her way out. 

She squeezed her eyes shut as if to block out the memory, but it was always with her.

It was early in the morning. Early enough that Mira thought she might actually get away with walking through the front door after not coming home last night. Her parents probably hadn't even noticed her absence, anyway. They rarely did. 

Except today they were waiting for her. Sitting right there on the couch at 4am, facing the door with their expressions unreadable and their hands folded neatly in their laps. 

"Where have you been?" her mother asked, flat and neutral. 

"Went for a walk," Mira replied, because even though she knew they wouldn't believe her, she didn't actually care what conclusions they came to on their own. 

They both sighed, disappointment shining through their dull features. 

"I don't know why we ever expect you to tell the truth," her father muttered. "We know where you were."

"Then why bother asking?" Mira shot back. She didn't have the energy for this. She just wanted to go upstairs, shower, and knock out for the next ten hours. 

"Your brother saw you last night," her mother hissed, completely ignoring her question. "On his way home from work, he saw you leaving a bar with a woman."

Mira scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Is that it? I had one drink, mom."

"You're not even legal!"

"Who cares? I'm a year away. What difference does it make?"

"We care!" her father retorted. "While your brother works hard to make something of himself, you stay out all night and break the law."

"Oh, give me a break."

"And that's not even mentioning the girl!"

Mira froze. "What about her?"

Her mother looked away, like she couldn't even stand to make eye contact anymore. "Your brother told us everything. How you were holding on to each other. Touching. Did you go home with her? Did you...?"

"That's none of your business." But Mira's flushed face answered for her. 

Her father's fist clenched over his knee. "We have put up with so much over the years. You have put us through so much. But this is too far."

Mira had to fight the urge to laugh. Oh, how dare she put them through the pain and misery of having different clothing preferences and a sense of self that didn't vanish the second someone asked her to be a quiet, palatable version of herself that didn't exist. 

"It's none of your business," she repeated. 

"It reflects on us," her mother protested. "You were in public, Mira. People saw you."

Frankly, she didn't care. If anyone took issue with who she chose to spend her time with, that was their problem. 

"I'll be more careful next time," she lied, because she absolutely would not hide herself on their account, but she wanted them off her back for the moment. 

"There can't be a next time," her father said firmly. 

"Oh my God, what do you want from me?" Mira groaned. "Want me to promise not to see her again? Wish granted. It was one time thing anyway."

"Let us find you a man." The moment those words left her mother's mouth, every bit of frustration and annoyance left Mira's body, replaced with nothing but what the fuck. "A good, proper man for you to marry."

"What?"

"That's the only thing I can think of to fix this," her mother went on, her voice filled with woe as if Mira had committed some horrible crime against her. "You act out, you fall in with the wrong people. Maybe a husband will finally set you straight. I want to believe you're not so far gone that these... urges... toward other women would cause you to be unfaithful."  

There was so much Mira wanted to say to that that she couldn't even process it all in time. Instead, when her mouth opened, all she could say was, 

"And what if I say no?"

Both of her parents sighed, more frustrated than anything else. 

"Then you can't stay here," her father said. "If you want to be part of this family, you have to act like it. We won't tolerate this any longer."

Anger boiled up inside her. She didn't even respond as she stomped upstairs to pack a bag, suddenly desperate to be anywhere but here. She didn't know if she expected them to take it back when they saw her packing their things to leave, but they didn't. They watched her walk back down the stairs, backpack on her shoulders, and throw her key onto the coffee table in front of them. They let her walk out and slam the door. Nobody chased her down the driveway or asked her to come back. 

Nobody cared that she had gone. In fact, they were probably relieved. 

It took Mira several minutes to realize she'd started crying. She wiped her face on her arm, growling at herself for being so sensitive. There was no reason to be so worked up. This was nothing like that day. Zoey hadn't meant anything. She still had a place here. 

But she couldn't help herself. Hearing that had struck something raw deep inside of her. Reopened a wound she had largely forgotten about. And she couldn't even say anything about it, because what fucking idiot ran to their room and cried over an obvious joke? 

"Mira?" came Zoey's gentle voice outside her door, accompanied by a soft knock. "Are you mad at me?"

Mira sat up, startled, and cleared her throat. 

"No," she called back, then realized after a few second that saying that and nothing else absolutely made her sound mad. 

"You can braid Rumi's hair," Zoey went on, sounding cautious and small. "I didn't mean to be annoying."

Mira sighed. She should have thought of that. Of course storming off like that would make Zoey think she was being too much. 

"You're fine," she said. "Go have fun."

"Can we come in?" Rumi asked, a bit louder and firmer. 

Reluctantly, Mira stood and walked over to the door, hoping her eyes weren't visibly red. She opened it to find both of her girls standing there, Rumi's hair half-braided and unsecured, slowly coming undone every time she moved. Zoey looked like a child waiting to be grounded. 

"Are you okay?" Rumi didn't step forward, waiting for an invitation. 

"Yeah," Mira said. "I thought you wanted one-on-one time."

"We wanted to check on you," Zoey murmured, her chin tilted sheepishly toward the ground while her eyes gazed apologetically up at Mira. "I didn't mean to kick you out. Rumi and I can always do something later."

"It's whatever." Mira shrugged, ready to close the door again. "You're allowed to want to be just the two of you sometimes."

"But it's not fair to do it like that," Zoey insisted. "I really thought we were joking around."

"We were."

"Then why are your eyes red?" Rumi asked gently. 

Fuck. 

Zoey squinted, like she hadn't quite realized. Her eyes widened slightly and her hands flew to her mouth. 

"Mira, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I didn't want to spend time with you."

"I know. It's fine."

"But it made you cry." Zoey broke through the invisible barrier and came forward to take Mira's hand. "Come hang out with us. We'll find something fun we can all do."

"I don't care, Zo." Mira pulled her had back. "I'm not upset about you wanting one-on-one time. That's important in a relationship like ours."

"Then what did upset you?" Rumi insisted. "You weren't crying over nothing."

Mira sighed and finally stepped aside to let them in. Might as well just get it over with if they were going to keep pushing. Her eyes fixed firmly on the ground, she sat down on the edge of her bed and felt them settle in on either side of her. 

"What is it, beautiful?" Zoey asked, resting a hand on Mira's knee. 

"It's so stupid," Mira muttered. "It was just... when you said you were breaking up with me..."

"Oh, Mira," Rumi crooned. 

"I didn't mean it," Zoey said frantically, her free hand gently turning Mira's face toward her. "I would never, baby, I love you so much."

"I know, I know." Mira wanted to turn away again, but she let Zoey hold her in place. "I've just had people leave me over things that shouldn't have mattered. You guys know about my parents. And I know you're nothing like them, but hearing you say that... it just didn't feel good."

"I'm sorry. It was a stupid thing to say." Zoey rested her head on Mira's shoulder, trying to get as close to her as possible. "It was a bad joke and it wasn't funny and I don't even know why I said it. I wasn't thinking and I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Mira leaned into her. "I know you weren't being serious. I'm just being emotional. It's stupid."

"No, it's not," Rumi said, putting an arm around both of them. "If something makes you feel bad, we need to know that."

"It was just a joke," Mira sighed. "I'm sorry I'm being so sensitive."

"Be as sensitive as you want," Rumi replied. "How you feel matters to us."

"You always want us to talk to you about stuff," Zoey added. "We want to make sure you're okay too."

Mira's heart began to swell, and she resisted the urge to hide her face. "You guys are gonna make me cry again."

"Good cry or bad cry?" Zoey asked, her eyes huge and full of anxiety. 

"Good cry." Mira kissed the top of her head. "Just... thank you for caring. And yeah, no more jokes about breaking up. I like our play fights, but that's too far for me."

"Never again," Zoey promised. 

"And if it ever goes too far again, can you please just tell us that instead of running off?" Rumi inquired gently. "I mean, we agreed not to hide from each other like that."

"Yeah..." Mira supposed it was a bit unfair of her to expect openness and honesty without giving it back. She would want to know if she'd done something to make Rumi or Zoey uncomfortable, after all. "You're right. I didn't want to make it a big deal, but... I guess it already was to me. I should've just said something."

"And it's okay if you're not ready to say everything in the moment," Zoey offered. "Just tell us to stop. We don't have to ask any questions."

Mira put an arm around each of them and pulled them in close. She really was lucky to have found them. People who actually cared how their words affected her. Wanted her around even when she wasn't easy. 

"Okay." She gave each of them a quick kiss to the temple. "Now go and braid Rumi's hair. She looks ridiculous."

Rumi snorted softly. 

"You can do it if you want," Zoey replied. "I should've just let you in the first place. It's not like we actually agreed to take turns."

"You could just do two braids," Rumi suggested, and the two of them paused and exchanged a glance. Why hadn't they thought of that? 

"Oh!" Zoey exclaimed, straightening up with newfound excitement. "We could do the two braids and then put them up in buns like mine! You would look so cute!"

"If you say so." Rumi turned her back to them, content to let them do whatever they liked. Mira quickly finished unravelling Rumi's hair from the incomplete braid, then separated it into halves and made some room for Zoey. 

"What if we did three braids," Zoey mused, "and then braided those ones into one giant one?"

"Let's stick with two," Rumi said over her shoulder. 

Zoey hummed in assent. They all settled in, quiet and content with this new activity. Mira let her elbow bump Zoey's as they worked; a silent gesture that didn't quite have a meaning but was understood nonetheless. Zoey bumped her back, and she smiled. 

They were good. They were still close and comfortable. They had been the whole time, but these small reminders always did Mira a world of good. Just a little something to tell her in ways that words often couldn't that she belonged. They wanted her here. That no one who mattered would ever leave her again. 

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