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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@themournfulredbeard
The worst thing an artist can do is to do a 9-5 job in arts.

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I fear the shit that has been accumulating in my basement. I am the one who has been dumping the shit there. But the shit there is rotting now. It smells bad. It is getting worse and. I fear the shit would take some shape. A shape like a human perhaps. A Frankenstein. And I fear. I fear that maybe that monster will choke me someday. But before that he will torture me. Or worse, i will be left alone to smell it. The shit is rotting. And it smells.
Even if the victims of the worst circumstances, stop considering themselves victim, even for a minute, the circumstances change. Apparently, the problem is you don't necessarily remember it then and because of the circumstances you don't believe someone who tries to explain it to you. And also, it is extremely difficult.
themournfoulrefbeard
How to talk to your parents? Huh? Anyone? Eh? Umh?
No matter how desperately you (homo sapiens) seek the truth, you would not want to hear it.

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you fight your own battles, wars alone and rule yourself alone.
You must not know the ideal life. Although it is okay if the ideal life finds you.
The stay on planet Earth is lonely. We will be accompanied by some humans. But we truly are alone. We will die lonely, regretting everything.
Cure to which is being friends with ourselves, so that we don't die alone.
Fuck it. Fuck it.
It's just a motherfucking gamble after all.
I thought I was a nihilist. But as it turned out I even failed at becoming a nihilist.
All I am is a Pathetic Nihilist.
We are truly and truly lonely on this planet Earth and hence we tend to live in a society to make ourselves believe that we are not alone. But, we are in fact alone. Very much alone.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I was lonely yesterday.
I am lonelier today.
I can feel the journey towards the more lonelier.
A bottomless hole.
I try/tried to do something.
It backfires.
I know how everything will end up.
I know how I will end.
I am falling in love with this.
Now I am afraid.
What if lonliness defies me?
Smoked a cigarette in front of my parents. It fuckingly freaked them out. Now, I regret it.
Shouldn't have told them.
Well..
Worst thing that can ever happen to homo sapiens is being miserable and not knowing it.
reality is changing.. EVERYDAY
Everything's a metaphor.
Goethe

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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When with family I am an alien, when in solitude I explode each moment. With each higher step, a new rock bottom is discovered. Sometimes I proudly look above, in the sky and I am filled with joy and sometimes the fact that there no one truly beside me, completely shatters me.
What is worse?
Worst hangover
Hanging over your existence