Fine Lines, Splatters, and Strokes

I have this little piece of gift wrapper that I keep in my journal

It’s not much, I know. And it’s very much useless, better to just throw it away

But just like you, I am happy knowing that it’s just there

Folded up and tucked neatly between the pages of my journal.

I remember that one night. I could never forget it.

It was your birthday that time, and I was like, what the fuck am I going to get her?

So there I was in the mall, walking around, and then I noticed this little shop

And in that little shop I bought the perfect gift

The gift that I knew would tell so much about you

The gift that I knew you would really love, not like. Love.

And then I remembered I also chose that specific gift wrapper

Same reason. Yes, it would tell much about yourself.

And so there I was, all snazzed up, gift in the bag, ready to show up

I came to the venue, and boy, was I really out of place

I mean, there were so much fanciness in one place, I don’t really know if I have the guts to show up, dressed in longsleeves that I wore since highschool, worn jeans, and worn sneakers

For Pete’s sake there were people with utter sophistication in there!

But I knew I was in the right place, because right then and there, I saw you

Entertaining a couple of guests, but enough about those guests

You were wearing this white long dress that was shimmering in the night sky

And you could tell that I’m saying right now is utterly preposterous, but the fuck do I care

I’m one of the lucky few who were close to you and invited in that party!

To put in perspective to what happened at that moment, let me describe a well-known movie that I am definitely sure you’re aware of

I was like Jacob Black standing out of the throng of her friends, almost in darkness, but not so much that you can still see me

And believe me when I tell you this, it was definitely the same scenario

Although, I wasn’t a buff werewolf, and she didn’t have a crazed and also buff vampire boyfriend.

So to save you all from me wistfully recalling that memory

Painstakingly in detail

The gift wrapper I used to wrap the gift I gave you

It always reminded me of how you were always there

Hours, days, weeks, months may pass

But it’s always as if you never left

And that is why I never gave up on you

Others may say I must stop this nonsense

That I may never get what I wanted

That I am chasing the wrong person

That I am expecting too much

That this is all one-sided

That I am wrong

I know I am

But I am not mad

I am thankful that the ones who cared

I know what I’m doing

Right now, my role is to be there

When I am mostly needed

Or when I am not even needed

Just like that little piece of gift wrapper

It’s not really useful technically

But I am happy it’s there

My pride and joy. Heart and soul.

“The story of a life and everything that came after.”

Ecce Homo

Behold, the man!

To all those experiences I've had, all those bad memories,

all the friends, bestfriends, worst enemies, people I've met in OJT,

places I've never been to, to God...

I am just so thankful.

And most of all the surprising turn of event that happened just this 

last few weeks. That was the happiest I've been since my streak

of depression.