Mellifluous

Jade 🍄

Azul 🐙

He tried to push the feeling away, but the longer he listened to you speaking so highly of another man, the more he felt himself going slowly insane.

And so, in the truest of Azul fashion, he would sign the contract, albeit hesitantly. However. He was by no means going to make this easy on you. By the time he was done, whoever caught your eye would surely have no choice but to look the other direction.

"And what will I be giving you in return for these services?" You asked without a care in the world of what he would ask for. Were you truly so love-stricken that you'd pay any price, just like that? He hadn't even recalled seeing you around another man who'd be worthy of such strong affections from someone like you.

Unless...

No. He shuttered to think that you'd stoop so low as to go after one of those pesky first years.

"Your time, perhaps? We can set up a few days where you can do anything I deem fit. Be it working some shifts in the lounge, or attending to another matter I may need. Do we have a deal?" It was a simple request from you. One he could take advantage of with ease.

You only smiled, grabbing the pen from his hand and signing the contract without a second thought.

"It's a deal." You said, stealing his line.

"..."

"Uhm. Are you sure this is going to work?" You looked at the two Leech twins in front of you, who each wore horrifyingly innocent expressions that made you question every decision you ever made in your life to end up at this point.

Much to your disappointment, Azul didn't "have the time" to offer his own assistance, opting to send out Jade and Floyd to help you win the heart of your crush. And when you told the pair that the one you were trying to get was actually Azul, they became...well. Far too excited.

"Eh? Does shrimpy not trust us? You signed the contract, now either you get on with it or we'll have to make ya!" Floyd bent down to your level, tilting his head to the side with a wicked smile. He placed his hands on your shoulders, before flipping you around to face your soon-to-be impending doom, a flight of stairs.

"Don't worry so much. We have known Azul for a long time, after all. There is no harm in trying."

"I don't think that was the part I was worried about, Jade, but thanks for the pep talk." You looked up, making a silent prayer to whatever higher being that may take even an ounce mercy on you. You signed up to win your crush over, not break every bone in your body.

You stood at the top of a staircase leading into the hallways where Azul, the unsuspecting victim to the most poorly executed "romance" strategy in history, would be walking through at any moment now to get to his next class. Floyd's suggestion? You pretend to trip down said staircase and allow Azul to come to your aid.

Yeah, you weren't sure what kind of strategy this was, either. Luckily, it was one of the smaller staircases in the school, but still.

"Ready for step one, shrimpy?" Floyd's voice broke you back out of your thoughts, and you felt yourself jump up at the sound of his voice.

"This is not a step? Hello? You two are actually insane." You tried to protest, which went in one ear and out the other for Floyd.

"They make a good point. There are several steps." Jade unhelpfully added.

"Off ya go!" Floyd shoved you down, making you miss the first step and begin to tumble down the staircase in what could only be described as a most regretful humiliation ritual.

Your bag flew, your shoe nearly left orbit before hitting a poor random first year in the face.

And then you finally landed at the bottom with a dramatic thud as you slid across the floor.

Sure enough, Azul was there to witness the entire thing with wide eyes, and you saw him frantically start making his way towards you when–

"Prefect?!" An unexpected voice came from beside you, two hands grabbing you and pulling you upwards. "Great seven's, are you alright?!"

Riddle Rosehearts had been the first to reach you. And he was currently gripping onto you for dear life as if you were going to crumble away to dust at any moment. Azul could only watch from the side, worry still evident in his sharp gaze, but he seemed to appear conflicted now.

"Are you injured anywhere? Can you speak?"

Your brain slowly rebooted as you came back to reality.

"...Hi Riddle."

"That is not an answer!"

Riddle began inspecting you carefully, wiping dust off of your uniform as he went. Once he decided you seemed to be in no immediate danger, he was going in for the lecture.

"Running down the stairs is in violation of several basic campus safety rules! They're in place for a reason, otherwise this happens. Come, let's get you to the infirmary. We will discuss this more on the way. Can you stand?" You were grateful this happened now and not a few months ago, or he surely would have had your head for this. Still, you could imagine you'd get an earful on the walk to the infirmary.

Riddle helped you up, allowing you to lean on him as you walked.

Meanwhile, Floyd and Jade were enjoying the view of Azul's expression as you were whisked away by the Heartslabyul housewarden.

The next two weeks were genuinely hell. Only, hell may have been kinder to you than the tweels.

Everything that could go wrong, did. And for some reason, there was an increasingly suspicious pattern of others becoming involved and taking your opportunities to get closer to Azul away.

First it was Riddle with the stair incident. Then, you had tried to attend one of the board game club meetings so you could lean more into Azul's interests, where you instead got sucked into various game sessions with Idia Shroud, who completely destroyed you and your dignity in every single game. You had to admit, that one was more your fault...you got a little competitive. You didn't stand a chance against Idia, though. You had to shake the image away of Azul's astonished expression when you started raging mid-game.

And then there was the misunderstanding with none other than Rook Hunt. Aka, possibly the worst man alive to have the misunderstanding with.

"Ah, dear trickster! How my heart sings with the words of your most sincère letter of love! Je suis enchantée!"

Rook had popped out from nowhere on your walk back to Ramshackle after school, making you jump backwards and almost fall on your ass. You began to open your mouth to ask what he was talking about, but he beat you to it.

"I had no idea of your feelings towards me, trickster. Allow me to apologize for my negligence. I will hold this letter close to me for the rest of my days." He got onto his knee, dramatically holding the letter to his chest as if he was holding an important, ancient artifact.

Wait...how would Rook have gotten your love letter...?! Floyd told you that you were putting it into Azul's locker!

"Ah...I uh... don't know how to tell you this, Rook. But that letter was..."

Forget it. You're now doomed to having Rook Hunt thinking you have the hots for him until the day you die. It's fine.

You shuttered at the memory, looking down at the bento box in your hand. This was your last hope. Jade supplied you with a packed lunch to give to Azul, who was too busy to make it to the cafeteria that day. This was honestly one of the better ideas that was presented to you, though, Jade danced around the topic of what the lunch was and who made it. All he said was:

"If you open it, all of the heat will escape and his meal will become cold. I suggest taking this straight over to him."

That part was suspicious. But you assumed Jade wouldn't poison his housewarden. Probably.

You made your way into Azul's office, who looked a little surprised to see you. He had several papers scattered around his desk, and it was clear he hadn't gotten much rest.

"Well, how is everything going? Have you won the lucky man's heart yet?" You didn't notice the way his jaw clenched slightly as he spoke the words. You only sighed, plopping yourself in the chair in front of him. You set the bento box down, casually sliding it towards Azul. He looked at you with a shocked expression.

"Terrible. I'm starting to think it would be a miracle if Jade and Floyd don't die alone. Their methods of wooing someone will surely end their own bloodline." You crossed your arms as you leaned further back in the chair, before gesturing to the bento. "That's for you. I hope you like it. I heard you hadn't ate yet today. You need to take a break, you know. Scamming people takes brain power."

Azul let out a soft chuckle, one of the sweetest smiles you've ever seen on him making it's way onto his face.

"Why, thank you, prefect. I don't normally accept a one way gift, but since it's from you, I'll be sure to– hrrk!" Azul stopped in his tracks as he pulled the lid off the bento.

Inside was the most monstrous excuse of 'food' either of you had ever seen. It looked more like toxic waste topped with a ketchup smiley face. On top was a sticky note that read "Made with love! And tuna. Good for the brain. - Lilia Vanrouge ♡"

"On second thought, I think this was meant for Grim." You snatched the lid away from Azul and slapped it back onto the bento, feeling heat rise to your cheeks as you were once again absolutely mortified.

"Damn! No offense, Azul, but your services suck. I've tried everything Floyd and Jade suggested. Literally none of it even made it to the person it was supposed to! They made me fall down the stairs, play board games I got crushed in, hand pick flowers that ended up giving me bug bites galore. And now Rook Hunt thinks I want him desperately! I don't, by the way. But I can't tell him that!" Frustrated tears pricked at your eyes, your hands gripping the cloth of your uniform as you tried not to break down in front of Azul. He looked at you with wide eyes, unsure of what to say or do in this situation.

He didn't mean to make you cry.

Now his own heart hurt as he saw you look so upset in front of him. He owed you an apology. His hand shakily reached towards you, but you weren't finished ranting.

"And now this! Why would Jade think that Lilia of all people was the choice for making you lunch! You haven't eaten and they give me a 'shit yourself' meatloaf or whatever the hell that was supposed to be!"

Azul froze.

"I– hang on. What are you talking about? They told you to give that to me? I thought they were helping you with–"

Azul suddenly felt like he could slam his own head against a brick wall. Everything finally began clicking to him. He had tried to pressure Floyd and Jade into telling him who you were pursuing when the contract started and they refused, much to his agitation at the time. He saw why, now.

"Yes, you idiot! I was trying to win you over! I thought asking for your help to do it would make for a cute confession given your line of business. I didn't realize I'd be so... so humiliated!" Your frustrated tears spilled over, and you brought your hands up to harshy rub at your eyes. "If–" you gasped, trying to catch your breath and calm down. "If you didn't like me like that, you could have just said that!"

Oh, Azul felt like the biggest piece of shit to grace the planet.

"No! No. No, t-that's not it at all." He let out a heavy sigh, adjusting his glasses with fingers that were trying very hard not to tremble in an attempt to compose himself. "I'm sorry. I truly had no Idea that I was the one who's affections you were trying to win over. In fact, the reason all of this happened to begin with..." his eyes shut for a brief moment. He knew he had to come clean to you.

"Is because I made the assumption you were referring to someone else." His voice remained smooth, but his gaze refused to meet yours. "When you first asked for my help with a matter regarding the heart, not once did it occur to me that you were attempting to court me." He continued carefully. "I automatically believed you must be trying to win over another student."

Your sniffling quieted slightly.

"And– regrettably– I allowed my own feelings towards you cloud my judgement. I will admit, the idea of you pursuing someone else was unpleasant." That was the nicest way he could put it. He couldn't admit the part where he let his own silent jealousy consume him and told the tweels to sabotage you and whoever you were going after. You could probably infer that much on your own now.

"I tried to tell myself a list of every excuse in the book as to why I would feel that way. After all, someone with your reputation is not easily to replace. You were useful to me."

You blinked up at him with a glimmer of hope, your tears fully gone.

"Does this mean..."

"I acknowledge my actions were deeply misguided, even though you failed to explicitly state that I was the individual in question when we wrote our contract." You scoffed, Azul was still Azul at the end of the day, even when trying to have a heart to heart conversation. "I both accept and return your feelings."

"I'm assuming Jade and Floyd knew you and I liked each other this whole time?" As romantic as this moment could have been, this was the only thought on your mind now that you received your confession.

"It appears so, as unfortunate as that is."

"I'm gonna kill them."

"Likewise."

You sat up, leaning over Azul's desk to grab his hands in yours. His body stiffened up, shocked at your sudden actions. He gave your hands a gentle squeeze in return, opening his mouth to speak–

The office door creaked open, both of your heads snapping to see two familiar heads popping in to take a peek. You quickly pulled your hands away from one another, but the tweels had already seen it.

"Ooooh, did it work? Are you two finally together now? About time! I was gettin real tired of listening to both of you behind each other's backs–" Floyd was the first to speak up, and Azul's eye twitched as he gave them a terrifying smile. Floyd froze, while Jade simply studied the situation with his own smile.

"Both of you. Out. We will have a LONG discussion about this later, where you will be lucky to still have a job when I am done."

The tweels left without much of a fight. Though, they considered everything worth it in the end. Hey, it worked, right?

"Now. I believe you got what you were seeking from me." Azul turned back to you, his expression growing mischievous as his eyes landed on you. "It's time for me to collect your debt. Perhaps a date will be in order as a fair use of your time?"

"I can agree to that. Though if I may add my own suggestion, I do recall a certain someone hasn't ate yet?"

"Ah. Yes... We can start with having lunch together. It will be my treat."

Dividers by priestboy

Do not steal or use my work for ai purposes. I will eat you.