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4000 years of medicine

antinwo

eat the root.

toothyblowjob

*sighs loudly*

#medicine #a history

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#shit doctors say

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themedical-life

:D

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When you find your patient on the floor- despite all the fall procautions you put in place and have to do a fall report.

#everyone is a fall risk

Checking in a new patient

Me: Sir, do you have a photo ID?

Patient: I forgot to bring it... I could show you my Facebook page, if you want? *whips out phone*

#FB is valid ID #didn't get the memo #nurse #front desk #medical #outpatient #clinic #oh patients #check-in #ID #facebook

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BYOB

Me: I want to add a solid food swallowing challenge to the EGD order.

Radiology: A burger challenge?

Me: Sure?

Radiology: That's what we call it.

Me: Okay then, a burger challenge. Are there any special instructions I need to tell the patient before the procedure?

Radiology: They need to bring a burger. Or sandwich.

Me: ... you want me to tell the patient to BYOB??

#BYOB #TML #doctor #nurse #burger #EGD #burger challenge #radiology

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themedical-life

This has actually happened for real. There was this resident that always talked to his home-made lunches.

To be fair, no one touches it. We think it might send him into a depressive state if his food went missing one day.

#doctor #medical #residents #we love our food more than we love ourselves and more than we love cool surgeries... I mean saving lives.

mydaywasworsethanyours

I tried to leave the unit with a coworker to go to lunch but ended up having to stay because all my patients decided they needed me.

#story of my life #nurse #doctor #patients

dismantle----repair

madidieu

BEEEP. BEEEP. BEEEP. BEE-FRICKIN-EEEP!

#ALL the pumps #just turn it off then on again

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#buhaynurse #nurse #or #noblejob 😊

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I love how on greys they have time to watch a flash mob in the ER drop off

themedical-life

Please, we spend all our time eating cookies, cake, chocolate and occasionally waving our hands at patients and making them feel better. Plenty of time for flash mobbage.

;)

#surgeon #doctor #nurse #medical

Crusade against lefties

Old story from the OR Surgeon: Would you like to start? Me: YES *mental somersault of joy* Surgeon: Can you use your right hand? I’m used to that. Me: oh… Ok What I wanted to say: Would you like that straight or wobbly? How do you know I can do it awesome with my other hand? Shall we flip a coin? P.S: rocked it

#Tales from the OR #surgeon #doctor

You're a doctor!

Patient: Doctor, I think I have (made-up disease name). I have all the symptoms.

Dr G: Huh? I've never heard of it.

Patient: What? You're a doctor, how do you not know it? It was on (medical-themed tv show)!

Dr G: ***facepalmsigh

#medical #doctor #TML

When the Med Student doesn't know whether to laugh at your geekness or walk away slowly

Me: You can do it!

MS: Thanks!

Me: FOR NARNIA

MS: <pause followed by forced laughter>

#surgeon #doctor #medical #fun at work #med students

Standing for hours in the OR

Things I've tried:

Lift up one foot, so all weight goes on one. Yay relief! Ah crap, now the other one is more tired. *transfers to other foot* yay! Ah crap..

Imagine I'm on a beach, barefoot. (Never works). Now I possibly need to use the loo, *immediately stops thinking about the beach*

Rub my own leg with foot. At least I hope that's my own leg.

Wish I can take my shoes off without contamination.

If a med student faints: rush to their side! Yes foot relief! Err I mean, are you ok!?

Have staring contest with nurse. Lose badly. Hardcore.

Stab self to feel pain in place of feet hurting. Just kidding.

#medical #surgeon #my foot hurts ahhhhh #Tales from the OR

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Simblet.

(hanging out in the hallway waiting for attending, Lion King playing on the tv in waiting room)

Resident: What's the Lion King based on, do you know?

Me: Hamlet.

Resident: Oh... Yeah, I can see that. Except Simba is less dour.

Me: I had a friend who actually had a crush on Simba.

Resident: Well, he is pretty attractive for a cartoon lion...

#The Lion King #simba #TML #medical #nurse

Forever hopeful.

So I had to page a doctor to let him know his patient was ready for the procedure. Said doctor is NOTORIOUS for being super late.

Page sent:

Your patient is prepped and ready. See you in 10 minutes... I hope?

#medical #TML #nurse

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