So it's no secret that lately, I've been in a rut. Creativity and the corporate rat race have been colliding. The need to receive financial gain in order to stabilize myself in the real world, while struggling to do so despite all the soulsucking long hours. And yet, the artist screams to thrive and entertain. Be it acting, animation, video, anything really. I was watching AVGN's youtube video showcasing the premiere of the movie, and it just got to me. The whole thing was so nostalgic, thinking back to the youtube days of 2006, but there was a particular line that got me. "This movie about sums up the past 8 years of our lives." 2006, the early youtube days, as well as the release of Egoraptor's Metal Gear Awesome. I look at people like AVGN, and Egoraptor who started in 2006 and gained so much notoriety back then, which has built so high. I sit back, and I think to myself of all the ideas that I had in those years. The frustration from all the times things were deleted mid production, all the ideas I gave up on, all the times I was told I couldn't do it or that I would get nowhere in my life doing it. Everything I burned so many hours of social life for, and yet I never released it. Because I was always told I couldn't do it. always being told that it was pointless and a waste of time. I see other people's success, and I think to myself "I could have done it." It fills me with deep regret, anger and admittedly, jealousy. I'm in no way shape of form talking down on them, no I'm extremely happy for them and proud that I could support them with my views, shares, and merch purchases. I simply fight with myself for having given in to the deceit of those who told me I couldn't, when clearly I could have in a time when such achievements were still in the primordial ooze stage. And now in these days it'd be even harder to achieve. Maybe if I'm lucky, I can revive certain ideas, but honestly I think my drawing skills died years ago. I feel like it's been a pretty bad waste of 8 years.... On another note though, I really just want to thank all of those people who I've met throughout cons. Everyone who I've been able to bring a smile to there face somehow, those who I've helped or entertained. Thank you, you make me feel alive. -Troy D Arsewhooper
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